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  • Consent in Gaming

    In new free e-book - Consent in Gaming - Monte Cook Games is pointing on discussing sensitive and mature topics on RPG sessions. I'm opening this forum topic for discussion on this subjects.

    One of example tools showed in CiG is Consent Checklist ( see below ). What do you think about it? What are your tricks for make players more comfortable at the table?


    Last edited by wyrdhamster; 09-18-2019, 02:52 AM.


    My stuff for Realms of Pugmire, Scion 2E, CoD Contagion, Dark Eras, VtR 2E, WtF 2E, MtAw 2E, MtC 2E & BtP
    LGBT+ through Ages
    LGBT+ in CoD games

  • #2
    I've seen this form pop up on some other gaming forums and get talked about, some a-holes chimed in and called people names if you can't handling this stuff, not hard to imagine that someone is gonna say such things

    But for me: Can be a good idea for sure, seems like things could/should be talked about as a group

    Dunno if that would have prevented one recent thing, but a DM posted a thing in a PBP game and I started having a panic attack, I took it to be that my goblin wizard was getting child molested, I lost a lot of sleep but didn't say anything of the things I was feeling, but my fighting back finally got the DM to end it in a huff

    I couldn't even really deal with it for a few weeks, finally was able to examine things and then talk to the DM, he apologized right away and I could sleep all night again, and here I am 52 years old. I wouldn't say I'm the biggest snowflake ever, but it still affected me greatly

    Honestly, I like a little romance, and like having my characters in relationships a lot of the time. I recently started playing a Gnoll cleric, and wasn't even expecting her to get in a relationship, but I was feeling real good when a Minotaur fighter in the group had an instant crush on her, still early, but it's fun already

    As much as I love some romance, fade to black is good for me
    Last edited by Willowfang; 09-15-2019, 06:04 PM.

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    • #3
      First, it's better that we're talking about active discussions of these things even if people don't like the tools. Far too often people left too much of this unspoken and don't realize it.

      The form's a decent approach for some styles of games. I would use it for conventions (where there's time to send it out to people that reserve seats ahead of time), new gamers in the group, or for larger groups like LARPs or chat games where it's just hard to keep so many people on the same page. Like all of these tools, it's not perfect or right for every situation, but it has its place.

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      • #4
        Discussion about safety tools in gaming are a great way to filter out people you absolutely never want to share a table with. I can't begin to grasp why the subject brings out the biggest, proudest assholes in the entire hobby, but boy howdy does it.


        Remi. she/her. game designer.

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        • #5
          My default assumption to most "mature" games is that it's running somewhere in the R rating category. And while I personally like to take the "anything goes" approach in regards to content, I am too self conscious about sitting around the table and publicly engaging in ERP with people while everybody else watches. Unless it's a group orgy scene, we're cutting to black when moments like that happen!

          As for the topic of racism, religion and cultural issues, I'd green light that in the case of fantasy context. Nobody is actually getting triggered when the light skinned High Elves and dark skinned Drow try to kill each other on sight. And I prefer my Orcs and Goblinoids to be slave trading, rape crazed barbarians. But if a player decides to start spewing obscenities at real world cultures and ethnic groups, then I'd start making sure I was out of punching distance, before things escalated.

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          • #6
            Originally posted by Nyrufa View Post
            As for the topic of racism, religion and cultural issues, I'd green light that in the case of fantasy context. Nobody is actually getting triggered when the light skinned High Elves and dark skinned Drow try to kill each other on sight. And I prefer my Orcs and Goblinoids to be slave trading, rape crazed barbarians.
            Yeah, I pretty much want to never be anywhere near your table.


            Remi. she/her. game designer.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by atamajakki View Post

              Yeah, I pretty much want to never be anywhere near your table.

              Once again, "in the case of fantasy context."

              Also once again, "we're cutting to black when moments like that happen!"
              Last edited by Nyrufa; 09-16-2019, 08:09 PM.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by Nyrufa View Post
                As for the topic of racism, ***SNIP*** Nobody is actually getting triggered when ***SNIP***
                So a lot of snipping there, and just in regards to what's left...

                There is a game where the high elf wizard is an elf supremacist and was treating my 18 year female old human rogue like shit all the time. A rare conflux to be sure, and more a matter of him treating me like shit than the racism, but constantly harassing another player is not cool. So you may need to disallow something if it affects a player within the party

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by Willowfang View Post

                  So a lot of snipping there, and just in regards to what's left...

                  There is a game where the high elf wizard is an elf supremacist and was treating my 18 year female old human rogue like shit all the time. A rare conflux to be sure, and more a matter of him treating me like shit than the racism, but constantly harassing another player is not cool. So you may need to disallow something if it affects a player within the party

                  At no point did I advocate directing such behavior towards your fellow players. If that kind of stuff is going on, then yeah, you've got a problem that should be addressed as soon as possible.

                  But when it comes to in game characters, though? Sure, go for it!

                  Also "high elf supremacist..." so basically a high elf?
                  Last edited by Nyrufa; 09-16-2019, 09:20 PM.

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Nyrufa View Post
                    Once again, "in the case of fantasy context."
                    It's a meaningless context. Someone wrote a fantasy RPG that was white/Christian supremacist garbage where Jews are goblins and Muslims are orcs. Dressing it up in the cloak of fantasy didn't make it any less offensive. Rape is rape. My opinions on how it should be handled in an RPG has nothing to do with genre. A whole race of sapient and sentient beings that are slavers and rapists isn't really something that's lacking in issues to include just because you FtB.

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Heavy Arms View Post

                      It's a meaningless context. Someone wrote a fantasy RPG that was white/Christian supremacist garbage where Jews are goblins and Muslims are orcs.
                      No they friggin aren't. In my setting, Goblins are Goblins and Orcs are Orcs.

                      Tolkien can kiss my ass!

                      Edit: and honestly, it's exactly because the races are portrayed as savage monsters that makes them so appealing to me. The idea that there are races in the setting which spit in the face of civilized society, giving in to their savage impulses, their twisted desires, and worshiping deities which support and encourage this kind of behavior. That is what makes them so fascinating to me. When you try to take such creatures and make them more nuanced, then you take away the very thing that makes them special. At that point, they're nothing more than one of the core races wearing a different skin; and thus I see no reason to even play them anymore.

                      Or explore their society for that matter. What are nuanced Orcs? Slightly dumber Half Orcs. What are nuanced Goblins? An uglier version of Halflings.
                      Last edited by Nyrufa; 09-17-2019, 07:19 AM.

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                      • #12
                        Sorry I didn't some how make it clear or think to do so Nyrufa I didn't think or mean to implay you were advocating anything of the sort, just the word you used touched on something I'm going through

                        this elf was being very Elves are the best and humans are beneath us and being very abusive about it to my human character

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Willowfang View Post
                          Sorry I didn't some how make it clear or think to do so Nyrufa I didn't think or mean to implay you were advocating anything of the sort, just the word you used touched on something I'm going through

                          this elf was being very Elves are the best and humans are beneath us and being very abusive about it to my human character

                          Ah, sorry to hear that. Hopefully it remains only in character, and doesn't spill out into something relating to real life.

                          Though to be honest, I've kind of got my own High Elf Wizard who would behave in a similar fashion. The guy just really, really hates human.

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Nyrufa View Post
                            No they friggin aren't. In my setting, Goblins are Goblins and Orcs are Orcs.
                            But these are two keep problems.

                            First is, "in my setting." That's why "fantasy context" is meaningless. Your fantasy setting might not have purposefully coded things that way, someone else's fantasy setting did. They're both equally fantasy settings even if of wildly different quality. I mean, Tolkien explicitly wanted his dwarvess to be read as Jews, even if he felt it was a positive thing since they're generally on the good side and all (not that it necessarily feels that way to Jews).

                            Fantasy context just means, "whatever context the author wants to be, painted with genre stuff," hence the way you used it doesn't mean anything.

                            "Goblins are Goblins and Orcs are Orcs," is another problem. They're not real things. I can't go somewhere on Earth, find a real goblin, and say, "OK, this is what a goblin is." They're made up. There's hundreds if not thousands of interpretations of what Goblins or Orcs are. Trying to claim there's some sort of Platonic ideal of them just doesn't work. And the interpretation of them that you use is going to matter to people (whether it will turn them off, or appeal to them, as tastes dictate).

                            and honestly, it's exactly because the races are portrayed as savage monsters that makes them so appealing to me.
                            If you want savage monsters, just have savage monsters. "Race" is a loaded term you don't need to have savage monsters.

                            We don't need demons to be a "race" they can just be demons and evil and bad.

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                            • #15
                              So, on the subject of fantasy racism, I’d like to approach the subject from a slightly different angle. You know how, in Scarred Lands, the whole barefoot halfling thing is actually a stereotype derived from the caricature of halfling slaves? That’s a way to address themes of racism in an RPG that I personally love. It acknowledges the common fantasy trope, gives it an in-fiction explanation, and encourages players to think beyond the trope, and indeed to recontextualize the trope as unfairly limiting to the race’s potential characterization. Furthermore, it provides an analogue to the ways oppressive ideas become ingrained in cultural consciousness and can be oppressive even without conscious mal-intent. And it does so as a background worldbuilding element, rather than forcing players into potentially uncomfortable situations where their character is being actively oppressed.


                              Going by Willow now, or Wil for short. She/Her/Hers.

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