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Does this forum make my butt look big? (That is what is on my mind)

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  • #16
    We are all new here


    I'm So Meta Even This Acronym

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    • #17
      The join date info beneath your avatar makes a question about your newness kind of silly.

      Which is not to say it will never happen.

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      • #18
        Last week, I was suffering from insomnia. As in I would go to bed around midnight and get up at about 4. Sometimes I would sleep even less than that. New drugs. This week, at the beginning of the week, I went back to sleeping normally. Started taking the drugs in the morning rather than the evening. The last four days or so have been... different. As in I've been going to bed at 18:30-19:00 ish and getting up at about 4. I guess that's better. But apparently I'm in an odd mood today.

        Eh, I'll blame the snow.


        "For these reasons, the trade of a soldier is held the most honourable of all others; because a soldier is a Yahoo hired to kill, in cold blood, as many of his own species, who have never offended him, as possibly he can." ― from "Gulliver's Travels"

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        • #19
          It occurs to me that there's something similar to irony in me having a persistent back injury that occasionally causes me to freeze up as if paralyzed for a while when one of what I would consider the hallmarks of my depression was an inability to move.

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          • #20
            Its sleeting here now...my brother ran into freezing rain while he was going to work.

            Strange new...I did not know there were V:tM comic books. I got Toreader and Isabel yesterday. Maybe I will start a new collection.


            Bipolar vampire...can't decide to feast for fun or for rage...

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            • #21
              As a bout of depression tries to steal my ability to think, I find myself becoming philosophical. I suppose that's as good a defense against it as anything. I find myself thinking, for what reason I neither know nor care, about sacrifice; about a word whose roots are shared with words like "sacred" and "artifice;" about a word whose meaning is "to make sacred." I find myself thinking about the things people sacrifice, and how the word is generally used in almost a mercantile sense, to describe what is paid for what we would buy. Giving something away in trade apparently makes a thing sacred.

              That probably says a lot about how we see the divine (as something that wants the things we have) and our relationship to it (customers)...or at least it would, if people used the word with any kind of divine connotations to it these days.

              So basically, I guess I'm saying that what's on my mind is a useless cluster of nothing.

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              • #22
                I know this isn't the hate thread. But I really hate and despise myself. This december is kicking my ass and I just don't get it. I'm becoming more melancholic every year in december. I'm waiting to have a breakdown. I'm drinking almost every night. I just don't fucking get it. I don't think my therapist could do much about this either. Somethings not right in the ole' noodle and its bothering me. Everyday since my birthday I've hoped I would die some how. I want it to hurry up and happen.


                pls respont

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                • #23
                  Originally posted by cerealkiller View Post
                  I don't think my therapist could do much about this either.
                  Does this mean you haven't talked to him about it?

                  Originally posted by cerealkiller View Post
                  I'm waiting to have a breakdown.
                  I get that, but you are not allowed to give up. Go man, go!

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                  • #24
                    Sounds like you got SAD (seasonal affective depression). Best thing to do is get more sun (unless you are in a snowy region then a membership to a tanning salon helps). Have the doctor or therapist check it out.


                    Bipolar vampire...can't decide to feast for fun or for rage...

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                    • #25
                      Sometimes, they key is finding the most mundane thing and making it the reason to keep going. Before Mama Bear and Baby Bears, my fall back was "fudge". No, seriously, go contemplate a piece of fudge. Someone plucked this tiny bean from a plant on another continent, cleaned it up and shipped it off to somewhere in Pennsylvania (we're just gonna assume it's Hershey's) where they tore it up, pulped it down, boxed it and shipped it to a store near you. Then, someone who cares about you (because no one makes fudge for you unless they care, sure you can go buy it, but then it's not for you, it's for anybody with enough money) goes to the store and picks that up thinking "I'm gonna make something tasty." (again, no one buys loose Hershey's Cocoa unless they're making fudge, or cake, or hot cocoa) and buys it and brings it home and goes thru all the trouble of making it (have you ever made fudge?...it's a bitch!) and brings a piece to you. And you get to eat this tiny confection of a bean turned into a powder turned into a brick because we're BRILLIANT HUMANS AND WE HAVE TECHNOLOGY! How cool is that?


                      - If you must be ridiculous, I must ridicule you.
                      - Those that can give up essential liberties in exchange for temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety. -- Benjamin Franklin

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                      • #26
                        I feel the same way about whiskey.


                        Ortam + Malkavia makes a Requiem fun.
                        Posts in this colour are Persuasion.
                        Posts in this colour are Seduction.
                        Posts in this colour are Intimidation.

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                        • #27
                          Originally posted by solomon birch View Post
                          I feel the same way about whiskey.
                          That works, too! Don't get me going on about that one....how they have to carefully burn the insides of the barrel to get the color and flavor right......it's a fraking miracle they didn't give up trying to make it.


                          - If you must be ridiculous, I must ridicule you.
                          - Those that can give up essential liberties in exchange for temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety. -- Benjamin Franklin

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                          • #28
                            Amaretto or wine coolers works for me. I need to sweet talk Mom to make up some fudge some time this week (I got fudge rounds from Little Debbie in the cabinet).


                            Bipolar vampire...can't decide to feast for fun or for rage...

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                            • #29
                              I like chocolate fine, but for my taste, fudge is too...I don't know, I guess gooey.

                              Reese's, now.

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                              • #30
                                Damn it all to hell...

                                Starting the 1st, Mom is tightening the purse strings. Money to go to the savings account so we can make my final rites (I plan to be cremated and secretly buried in Austin at SRV's statute or dumped into Lady Bird Lake). Pay off my Fingerhut account and if I want anything from there, I can order it. Get the 6-month plan on Runescape. This means NO MORE EBAY!!!! This is how I find my books real cheap (just got my VA core book and ST screen for $7). I pay for Elisabeth's cell bill (the switching carriers helped me out). My life insurance payment just went up, as well as my Medicare D payment.

                                This means no more WOD stuff. No more Anne McCaffrey (I am trying to save up for Anime Overload in July).

                                Now, if one of you can ship me a Tardis tea cup, I can get over my upset.

                                Just heard from the thyroid doctor on Mom...she has a node in the center of her thyroid but the doctor wants to do a wait and see on it.


                                Bipolar vampire...can't decide to feast for fun or for rage...

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