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  • Quite probably. I just know I live in a decent sized town but not one of the five largest in my state in the south and there are 4 within an hour, double that if I drive more than one less than two. I am not sure what is normal for an area.


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    • Originally posted by etherial View Post
      Considering they've tried two different groups, I suspect the answer is "Noish". There probably isn't another generalized BDSM group, but there may be specialty subgroups that police themselves better than the general BDSM scene.

      Have you tried joining any specialty groups and seeing if they have a better handle on things?
      Maybe Caitiff can start one, set the rules the way Caitiff wants them to be to attract like minded individuals.

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      • Originally posted by Omegaphallic View Post

        If the subs are used to this and this occurs when your not around I suggest reacting with some trust, I mean they do this when your not around to chaperone, and the subs are okay it sounds like, so maybe it's just a clash with how your used to doing things. It's hard for me to say, because I'm not seeing what your seeing. Its just something to concider, they manage to avoid catastrophe when your not around, so maybe the Doms have more self control then you can see and know the subs limits better from greater experience with those subs. Just a guess.
        Pretty much the exact response I was expecting from your end of the world. Nothing about safety, sanity, or consent. Just worrying that I'm harshing the buzz.

        I don't do trust. I do observation.

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        • Originally posted by Caitiff Primogen View Post

          Pretty much the exact response I was expecting from your end of the world. Nothing about safety, sanity, or consent. Just worrying that I'm harshing the buzz.

          I don't do trust. I do observation.
          According to your observations, how many of the dick-measuring Doms are women? Because if there's a good number, it's probably just a culture clash between you and the local group. But if there aren't any Dommes in the group, my guess is that they started their own far-less-sketchy BDSM group that the people that skeeve you out have been banned from.

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          • Originally posted by etherial View Post
            According to your observations, how many of the dick-measuring Doms are women? Because if there's a good number, it's probably just a culture clash between you and the local group. But if there aren't any Dommes in the group, my guess is that they started their own far-less-sketchy BDSM group that the people that skeeve you out have been banned from.
            There were none in the first group, one in the second. I haven't had anything to do with either in years at this point, so it's possible that things have changed. This was more of a generalized expression of frustration than looking for a solution to a specific problem.

            Has anybody had an experience with groups that aren't full of toxic manbabies? Even having the existence of functioning communities verified would be a palliative.

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            • Originally posted by Caitiff Primogen View Post

              Pretty much the exact response I was expecting from your end of the world. Nothing about safety, sanity, or consent. Just worrying that I'm harshing the buzz.

              I don't do trust. I do observation.
              You never said anything about lack of consent, all I said was maybe those Doms we're more familiar with the subs then you we're, no need for a personal attack on me or "my end of the world".

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              • https://out.reddit.com/t3_662tmd?url...ame=reddit.com

                This is a reminder that getting BDSM recognized as a sexual orination is important, some people think that its private so there is no need, forgetting that in the internet age NOTHING is private anymore.

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                • Originally posted by Omegaphallic View Post
                  https://out.reddit.com/t3_662tmd?url...ame=reddit.com

                  This is a reminder that getting BDSM recognized as a sexual orination is important, some people think that its private so there is no need, forgetting that in the internet age NOTHING is private anymore.
                  Well, that's pretty awful there.

                  Not entirely sure how BDSM being seen as a sexual orientation would change things, though...

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                  • There's also the sticky issue of Gorean stuff within the larger BDSM umbrella.

                    While whatever semantics people want to get into over what kind of orientation to call BDSM and kink, there is protection in recognition of them as being essential parts of people's identities. Recognition is the first step towards destigmatization and decriminalization.

                    However, even with that, Gorean folks are going to be a sticking point because that community has a lot of very problematic members and very little motivation to treat them as such. People that RP Gorean themed consensual BDSM play aren't an issue, however there's been lots of Goreans that advocate for Gorean philosophy being instituted in larger scale fashions; which puts Goreans decidedly at odds with the other groups that want to expand the rights of sexual minorities.

                    The line between, "I enjoy my relationships to include heterosexual total power exchange with the man as the dominant," and, "I believe that men are inherently superior to women," is easy to draw in theory, but harder to draw in practice when you have groups like the Goreans.

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