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  • #16
    Originally posted by aluminiumtrioxid View Post

    Actually, Chopping allows the user to ignore 2 Hardness, which is actually pretty useful on multiattack Charms, you definitely want to keep it. I don't recommend adding Strength to raw damage, because getting +8 damage for 2 motes is a bit much.
    A tad, yeah! Hm...converting it to autosuccesses seems a bit much as well.



    Originally posted by aluminiumtrioxid View Post

    An Indefinite duration means exactly what it says - the effect persists indefinitely, as long the motes are committed. The Charm ends when the user un-commits the motes. However, the mote cost of any Charm with a duration other than Instant is always committed, so a scenelong effect has its cost committed just like an indefinite one would.
    ...huh. I didn't realize scene longs were comitted as well. I'll go through and edit alot of indefinetes to scene long.

    Originally posted by aluminiumtrioxid View Post
    Heavy weapons don't carry an inherent defense penalty. Mortal heavy weapons have a -1 parry modifier, artifact heavies have +0. Consequently, by setting a weapon's parry modifier to +1, you allow the stylist to have a resting parry of 7, but that ship has sailed long ago when the devs decided that medium weapons will have a +1 parry mod - so I see nothing wrong with it.
    Cool, adding.


    Originally posted by aluminiumtrioxid View Post
    Keep in mind that if you make Butcher of Men Simple, you won't be able to keep the insane interpretation (since Thrashing Blade doesn't give an extra action, it allows the stylist to make an additional attack reflexively).
    Yep. I hadn't realized how insane it could get. so cutting that back.


    Originally posted by aluminiumtrioxid View Post
    I'm not sure, that's a pretty big buff. At the very least, you want to make the excellency an exception.
    I'll think on it longer. Maybe give them all the chopping tag for free. That'd be moderately useful.


    Originally posted by aluminiumtrioxid View Post
    Honestly, I think you can just say "the stylist rolls to rush the target; if the rush succeeds, the attack counts as a surprise attack, otherwise resolve attack normally".
    ...Yep. THat works. Thanks!


    I did a lot of homebrew over here. PEACH.

    Comment


    • #17
      Originally posted by Epee102 View Post
      A tad, yeah! Hm...converting it to autosuccesses seems a bit much as well.
      Convert it to post-soak damage dice then. (A pretty minor benefit, considering that heavy weapons are rarely soaked.)


      Onto Obsidian Chains of Torment, AKA the "Draven meets Darksiders" style!

      I like this one a lot more than I liked Tyrant Lizard, and not just because I'm a sucker for fighting chains. It actually has a thematic core and unique aesthetics aside from "angry armorguy rageslash". Being a fan of the Book of the New Sun tetralogy, I also appreciate the whole grim executioner thing you're going for, even though most of the fluff you wrote doesn't really mesh well with the image of a solemn figure who's doing his duty for moral correction.

      Cow the Crowd: a bit conservatively priced (I think it would be fine at 3m), but not as much as to actually raise a complaint. The Mastery benefit is kinda dull and doesn't really reflect the feel of someone beating down their opponents with their presence - I think it would be better if those affected actually lost a point of initiative to the stylist.
      Come to think of it, actually, the base effect should be "opponents affected lose a point of initiative to the stylist, who can't gain more than (Essence or 3, whichever is higher) points in this manner", and I'd have the Mastery benefit be that the stylist can replace her Join Battle result with her number of successes on the Instill roll.

      Feast of Fear: you really should use the core values for Intimacy bonuses on Charms (2/3/4). There is no reason to have your style operate on a completely different scale, especially when the actual values are so close. Other than that, we once again face the problem of an early Charm being way, way too good at what it does. You're effectively granting permanent non-Charm auto-successes on attack rolls at zero cost. I'd actually just steal a page from Crane's playbook instead:

      Feast of Fear
      Cost: 3m Mins: Martial Arts 3, Essence 1
      Type: Supplemental
      Keywords: Withering-only, Mastery
      Duration: Instant
      Prerequisites: Cow the Crowd (which is not, and has never been, called "Make the Crowd Afraid" )
      [fluff text goes here]
      When the stylist makes a withering attack against an enemy that holds an Intimacy of fear towards her, she adds an automatic success to the attack roll, and dice equal to the Intimacy's strength to its raw damage.
      Mastery: the damage bonus is converted into post-soak damage dice instead.

      Obsidian Chains of Torment Form: okay, this one is... umm... peculiar. Basically, the point of a Form Charm is to give out some sort of a passive benefit that accentuates the kind of things the style is good at. This, on the other hand, is... something you have to keep up from turn to turn to benefit from it. It's not great design. It's also very fiddly - the difficulty of the hazard keys off of the stylist's Parry value, which can be affected by onslaught, wound penalties, tags, and whatever else; Strength+MA/2 is a plain weird formula for damage calculation (unless you meant (Strength+MA)/2, I guess?); and once exposed, a target can't be exposed for god-knows-how-long (at low Essence, probably longer than most fights tend to last), which is yet another value to keep track of in actual play (actually multiple values, one for each opponent!). I don't like it, I'd rather have something else instead, hell, I'll even write it up for you if you tell me what kind of benefit you're looking for. Just, for the love of god, make it passive.

      Drive the Vultures Into Frenzy: I'm not even sure what this one does. It converts onlookers' intimacies into positive ones, so far so good. For characters who are actually opposing the stylist, it increases the effective level of their Intimacy by one, without actually increasing them (this one is okay, albeit I'd lose the 'add another minor' rider). Then, if the stylist is the Form, they can also instill another Intimacy in the viewers. And... that's it. No other effects. I get that this is a style of showmanship, but... this is a social Charm. Even Black Claw - a style with considerably greater focus on social manipulation than this one - has no Charms that are so purely about setting things up for the long run without having any immediate martial impact. And it's Simple, causing you to waste an entire action doing this! Using that action, you could've just made another social influence action to actually strengthen those Intimacies of fear while being able to keep attacking (and if you have a Presence Charm in Miracles, you don't even get a flurry penalty for doing so). As a player, I would honestly feel bad about having to pick this Charm.

      Swirl Becomes Spear: yeah, this one is okay. I mean, I'm not a fan of even more fiddly interactions with the Form, but hopefully you'll ditch that part anyway. Not entirely sure why you can't tag withering attacks with this though.

      Honor to the Doomed: if you decide to ditch the Form's current benefit, you can still keep this one, it just needs to be a Counterattack you make in response to a disengage attempt.

      Blade Above Bruise Below: ...I don't think Martial Arts Charms need to represent mundane techniques like this. Using every part of your weapon should be the default assumption inherent to just having a 4-5 dot rating in an ability.

      Jeering Heel: yeah so much for noble souls doing their duty with solemnity. Otherwise, this is... an E3 Charm with a 4m cost, which does the same thing as a normal persuade action would. The additional WP cost is a nice benny, but that's all it is. I think this Charm has the distinction of being both incongruent with half of the style's aesthetics and mechanically weak.

      They Call for Blood: I like the idea that the benefit is dependent on the Size of the crowd, good use of already established mechanics. On the other hand, just handing out non-Charm bonus dice on attacks is a very boring (and difficult-to-balance) way to represent that. You know what already-existing mechanic is a measure of a combatant drawing strength and momentum to help her finish a fight? Initiative. You can play with this theme in a lot of ways (just make it a permanent Charm that allows the stylist to add (Size of onlooker crowd) to their base initiative whenever they reset after incapacitating a non-trivial enemy with an OCoT attack; make it a once per scene Simple Charm they can activate to generate free initiative; hell, maybe allow them to regain motes or health levels as the crowd's adulation propels them onward, similarly to the White Reaper capstone Snow Follows Winter), I'll let you pick one.

      Oh, Oh Death: well first off, the song is called O' Death - if you're making a blatant reference, at least get it right :P. Second, granting a scenelong +4 Parry bonus is completely broken. (The same Resolve bonus is okay in my book, being an implacable figure of death with a heart of stone is perfectly in-theme for the style.) As for the upgrades, they mostly affect Charms I don't think should be in the style at all (Jeering Heel, Blade Above...), or are pretty much self-explanatory (Swirl Becomes Spear). In any case, if you take the advice I've given thus far, this one will sadly have to be scrapped and redone almost entirely.
      Last edited by aluminiumtrioxid; 10-23-2017, 06:51 AM.


      Evocations for the demonic tattoos gained from the Pact with Mara sorcerous initiation || Pyre-Kindler (Soulsteel and Red Jade Grimscythe, Artifact 3) || Tenebrous Descent (Stormcaller's Black Jade Reaver Daiklave cousin, Artifact 5)
      Advice for running the corebook shikari antagonists

      Comment


      • #18
        Originally posted by aluminiumtrioxid View Post


        Onto Obsidian Chains of Torment, AKA the "Draven meets Darksiders" style!

        I like this one a lot more than I liked Tyrant Lizard, and not just because I'm a sucker for fighting chains. It actually has a thematic core and unique aesthetics aside from "angry armorguy rageslash". Being a fan of the Book of the New Sun tetralogy, I also appreciate the whole grim executioner thing you're going for, even though most of the fluff you wrote doesn't really mesh well with the image of a solemn figure who's doing his duty for moral correction.
        So, this I'm gonna talk about at the front. The solemn executioner is half the imagery.
        The other half is that of a gladitor in the ring, exploiting the fear of death and the crowd. The dichotomy between the 2 figures of publically sanctioned violence might have been too extreme, but I was looking for something like how Tiger has both bullys and noble warriors in it's flock.

        Originally posted by aluminiumtrioxid View Post

        Cow the Crowd: a bit conservatively priced (I think it would be fine at 3m), but not as much as to actually raise a complaint. The Mastery benefit is kinda dull and doesn't really reflect the feel of someone beating down their opponents with their presence - I think it would be better if those affected actually lost a point of initiative to the stylist.
        Come to think of it, actually, the base effect should be "opponents affected lose a point of initiative to the stylist, who can't gain more than (Essence or 3, whichever is higher) points in this manner", and I'd have the Mastery benefit be that the stylist can replace her Join Battle result with her number of successes on the Instill roll.
        I'll add that as the mastery effect, seems more intreasting.

        Originally posted by aluminiumtrioxid View Post
        Feast of Fear
        Copied and Pasted. Thanks.

        Originally posted by aluminiumtrioxid View Post

        Obsidian Chains of Torment Form: okay, this one is... umm... peculiar. Basically, the point of a Form Charm is to give out some sort of a passive benefit that accentuates the kind of things the style is good at. This, on the other hand, is... something you have to keep up from turn to turn to benefit from it. It's not great design. It's also very fiddly - the difficulty of the hazard keys off of the stylist's Parry value, which can be affected by onslaught, wound penalties, tags, and whatever else; Strength+MA/2 is a plain weird formula for damage calculation (unless you meant (Strength+MA)/2, I guess?); and once exposed, a target can't be exposed for god-knows-how-long (at low Essence, probably longer than most fights tend to last), which is yet another value to keep track of in actual play (actually multiple values, one for each opponent!). I don't like it, I'd rather have something else instead, hell, I'll even write it up for you if you tell me what kind of benefit you're looking for. Just, for the love of god, make it passive.
        So, changed some math: clarified base parry instead of parry.
        It was supposed to be (Strength+MA)/2.

        Now onto the more...er, fundamental problem. I was looking for a way to mechanically repersent a constant threat of a chain being swung around. An enviromental hazard seemed the way to do that, but allowing it constantly -without an action to maintain the swinging of the chain- seemed...off. Keeping the chain in motion seemed like a more active action then most forms had.
        The exposure time could be lowered, probably to every round (It'd be a bit worse than a bonfire Dragonblooded that way), and was mainly a concern about being two strong to have constantly whirling.
        So, I could convert that into a simple passive hazard as long as the form is maintained. But yes, the form is wierd, and doesn't corelate to any specific bonus I can think of beyond an enviromental hazard.

        Originally posted by aluminiumtrioxid View Post
        Drive the Vultures Into Frenzy: I'm not even sure what this one does. It converts onlookers' intimacies into positive ones, so far so good. For characters who are actually opposing the stylist, it increases the effective level of their Intimacy by one, without actually increasing them (this one is okay, albeit I'd lose the 'add another minor' rider). Then, if the stylist is the Form, they can also instill another Intimacy in the viewers. And... that's it. No other effects. I get that this is a style of showmanship, but... this is a social Charm. Even Black Claw - a style with considerably greater focus on social manipulation than this one - has no Charms that are so purely about setting things up for the long run without having any immediate martial impact. And it's Simple, causing you to waste an entire action doing this! Using that action, you could've just made another social influence action to actually strengthen those Intimacies of fear while being able to keep attacking (and if you have a Presence Charm in Miracles, you don't even get a flurry penalty for doing so). As a player, I would honestly feel bad about having to pick this Charm.
        I could probably get the same effect by making it effect iniaitive, as you suggested below for They Call For Blood.


        Originally posted by aluminiumtrioxid View Post

        Blade Above Bruise Below: ...I don't think Martial Arts Charms need to represent mundane techniques like this. Using every part of your weapon should be the default assumption inherent to just having a 4-5 dot rating in an ability.
        ...huh, I forgot to put the prompt I was working from on this set. Weird. Anyway, it's there because it was called out as a technique in the prompt, and seemed like a complex enough action to give some modeling.


        Originally posted by aluminiumtrioxid View Post
        Jeering Heel: yeah so much for noble souls doing their duty with solemnity. Otherwise, this is... an E3 Charm with a 4m cost, which does the same thing as a normal persuade action would. The additional WP cost is a nice benny, but that's all it is. I think this Charm has the distinction of being both incongruent with half of the style's aesthetics and mechanically weak.
        See above regarding thematics. As for the effect, I'll revisit it. The player I ran this by thought compeling a fight explictly wasn't a thing persuade could do, so I'll give it a bit of thought.


        Originally posted by aluminiumtrioxid View Post
        They Call for Blood: I like the idea that the benefit is dependent on the Size of the crowd, good use of already established mechanics. On the other hand, just handing out non-Charm bonus dice on attacks is a very boring (and difficult-to-balance) way to represent that. You know what already-existing mechanic is a measure of a combatant drawing strength and momentum to help her finish a fight? Initiative. You can play with this theme in a lot of ways (just make it a permanent Charm that allows the stylist to add (Size of onlooker crowd) to their base initiative whenever they reset after incapacitating a non-trivial enemy with an OCoT attack; make it a once per scene Simple Charm they can activate to generate free initiative; hell, maybe allow them to regain motes or health levels as the crowd's adulation propels them onward, similarly to the White Reaper capstone Snow Follows Winter), I'll let you pick one.
        Good suggestions I'll think on.


        Originally posted by aluminiumtrioxid View Post
        Oh, Oh Death: well first off, the song is called O' Death - if you're making a blatant reference, at least get it right :P. Second, granting a scenelong +4 Parry bonus is completely broken. (The same Resolve bonus is okay in my book, being an implacable figure of death with a heart of stone is perfectly in-theme for the style.) As for the upgrades, they mostly affect Charms I don't think should be in the style at all (Jeering Heel, Blade Above...), or are pretty much self-explanatory (Swirl Becomes Spear). In any case, if you take the advice I've given thus one, this one will sadly have to be scrapped and redone almost entirely.
        Parry bonus will probably be reduced. Having done a few styles since, I'll probably alter the capstone to be something besides "boost other charms in the tree."


        I did a lot of homebrew over here. PEACH.

        Comment


        • #19
          Thunder on the Precipice and Red Locust Swarm had topics of their own recently, with multiple people commenting, so I think they can wait. Let's proceed with Graceful Hummingbird Style!

          Needle Cuts through Steel: ignore 4 points of armor soak for 2m, ignore additional (Essence) points of soak against an enemy with lower initiative. Looks good.

          Smaller Blade Bends Steel: okay, this name is just goofy if you look at it right after the prerequisite. "First we have a needle! It can cut through steel! But then we have an... uhm... even smaller... uh, blade! And it, uh, bends steel!" Other than that, it seems... okay? I mean, the base effect's worse than Solar Counterattack in every respect, and the tacked-on bonuses (+1 die on the attack roll if the attacker has lower initiative! and another extra die if you're a solar and your attacker carries a heavy weapon! but this one is non-Charm!) seem fairly inconsequential. Then the E3 version turns into a slightly more limited and expensive, but also more powerful version of Solar Counterattack. Eh.

          The Eyes Are But The Flowers of the Soul: I'm not 100% sure that you need to add the Perilous keyword to a Decisive-only Charm, since you can't make decisives in Crash anyway. Also, it would be nice to have a duration on the penalty, because there's a massive difference between affecting a character with a -3 penalty for one round and doing the same for the entire scene.

          Graceful Hummingbird Form: the dreaded resting parry of 10 appears once again. Rework it.

          Quick-Winged Bird: ...eh. Bump the cost up to 3m at least.

          Hummingbird Breaks Kestrel: this is just a worse excellency unless you're attacking an opponent who is wielding a heavy weapon and is lower in initiative than you are, in which case it nets you a grand total of 1 mote advantage.

          Always First: eeeehhh. If it's reflexive with a negligible cost, why not just make it Permanent.

          Mounting Methods of the Swift Strike: yeah this is bad. I can guarantee you that at 4m, this will pretty much never see use on a withering attack, because if you can meet the Essence minimum, the first Charm of the style already allows you to ignore 7 points of soak for 2m. As for the decisive side, it's horrendously overpowered. The appropriate point of comparison is DPC's Vindictive Concubine's Pillow Book, a Charm that costs almost twice as much, only has 4 triggers in total, some of them mutually contradictory, and all of them nontrivial to achieve (ambushes require stealth, which is at best a supplementary skill to the style and it still needs the target to hold an appropriate Intimacy on top of that; getting blackmail material on someone is a nontrivial affair in itself, but not only do you need that, you also need your opponent to know that you know; affecting a target with Fragrant Petal Fascination Kata requires you to have taken a social influence action on your last turn; and you can't even trigger Seven Storms Escape Prana independently of your opponent's actions unless you disengage first, which means giving up 4 points of initiative in total!). By contrast, three of your Charm's trigger conditions are trivial to achieve: Graceful Hummingbird Form is a given, counterattacks are such an integral part of the style that you have two separate Charms for them, and you even have another Charm - and probably a very high Join Battle result - to help you get to higher initiative than your opponent! And it's not like the remaining two conditions are once-in-a-blue-moon affairs either - the first one you can easily trigger in conjunction with two other ones just by winning Join Battle, and the last one is pretty likely to happen over the course of a fight regularly. And doubles on decisives are devastating - each double effectively gives you a 25% bonus to your expected damage result!

          Spiraling Beak Makes Lotus of Steel: ...let's just agree not to hand out unconditional non-Charm bonuses like candy, shall we? Especially not at excellency-equivalent costs and no meaningful cap (by the time a Dragon-Blooded can pick this Charm up, they'll be able to benefit from a bonus equal to their full excellency value!).

          Swift Bird Strikes Twice: I'm... okay with this. Spend 5m, a WP and an action to gain some initiative and reset some of your big moves, once per battle. Probably fine as a capstone (if unimaginative).


          Evocations for the demonic tattoos gained from the Pact with Mara sorcerous initiation || Pyre-Kindler (Soulsteel and Red Jade Grimscythe, Artifact 3) || Tenebrous Descent (Stormcaller's Black Jade Reaver Daiklave cousin, Artifact 5)
          Advice for running the corebook shikari antagonists

          Comment


          • #20
            Originally posted by aluminiumtrioxid View Post
            Thunder on the Precipice and Red Locust Swarm had topics of their own recently, with multiple people commenting, so I think they can wait. Let's proceed with Graceful Hummingbird Style!
            I'd recommend coming back to Red Locust later. It had a major revision that no-one's commented on.

            Originally posted by aluminiumtrioxid View Post
            Graceful Hummingbird Form: the dreaded resting parry of 10 appears once again. Rework it.
            Bumped it down to +1 and +2.

            Originally posted by aluminiumtrioxid View Post
            Quick-Winged Bird: ...eh. Bump the cost up to 3m at least.
            Sure.

            Originally posted by aluminiumtrioxid View Post
            Hummingbird Breaks Kestrel: this is just a worse excellency unless you're attacking an opponent who is wielding a heavy weapon and is lower in initiative than you are, in which case it nets you a grand total of 1 mote advantage.
            Bumping the values by 1. It's primary use should be when your at higher initiative.

            Originally posted by aluminiumtrioxid View Post
            Always First: eeeehhh. If it's reflexive with a negligible cost, why not just make it Permanent.
            Was averse to permanent charms in MA's, and wanted the encouragment not to drop into crash (When the charm stops taking effect).

            Originally posted by aluminiumtrioxid View Post
            Mounting Methods of the Swift Strike: yeah this is bad. I can guarantee you that at 4m, this will pretty much never see use on a withering attack, because if you can meet the Essence minimum, the first Charm of the style already allows you to ignore 7 points of soak for 2m. As for the decisive side, it's horrendously overpowered. The appropriate point of comparison is DPC's Vindictive Concubine's Pillow Book, a Charm that costs almost twice as much, only has 4 triggers in total, some of them mutually contradictory, and all of them nontrivial to achieve (ambushes require stealth, which is at best a supplementary skill to the style and it still needs the target to hold an appropriate Intimacy on top of that; getting blackmail material on someone is a nontrivial affair in itself, but not only do you need that, you also need your opponent to know that you know; affecting a target with Fragrant Petal Fascination Kata requires you to have taken a social influence action on your last turn; and you can't even trigger Seven Storms Escape Prana independently of your opponent's actions unless you disengage first, which means giving up 4 points of initiative in total!). By contrast, three of your Charm's trigger conditions are trivial to achieve: Graceful Hummingbird Form is a given, counterattacks are such an integral part of the style that you have two separate Charms for them, and you even have another Charm - and probably a very high Join Battle result - to help you get to higher initiative than your opponent! And it's not like the remaining two conditions are once-in-a-blue-moon affairs either - the first one you can easily trigger in conjunction with two other ones just by winning Join Battle, and the last one is pretty likely to happen over the course of a fight regularly. And doubles on decisives are devastating - each double effectively gives you a 25% bonus to your expected damage result!
            Dropped if the opponent has moved towards you, since that was the easiest.Removed the from option as well. Added instead "if on the first turn", meaning getting this charm off at max requires an immediate counterattack on the first turn, while you have a higher place in turn order(probably, yes, Always First being key here). Doubled the cost, added a wp.
            I'd note that unlike Vindicative Concubine's Pillow Book, you still have to (at max) deal with an opponent's parry, setting up to full use is easier (you can only have a first attack and first turn once, without burning the capstone), and is almost certain to have double 9s the entire fight (blackmail once is blackmail forever). Double 8s if your a Solar, with the form counting and all.

            Originally posted by aluminiumtrioxid View Post
            Spiraling Beak Makes Lotus of Steel: ...let's just agree not to hand out unconditional non-Charm bonuses like candy, shall we? Especially not at excellency-equivalent costs and no meaningful cap (by the time a Dragon-Blooded can pick this Charm up, they'll be able to benefit from a bonus equal to their full excellency value!).
            dropped non-charm.


            I did a lot of homebrew over here. PEACH.

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            • #21
              New MA! Quicksilver Limbus! Next: Sky tamer!


              I did a lot of homebrew over here. PEACH.

              Comment


              • #22
                Speaking of which, time for us to take a look at Emerald Wasp Style!


                The Patient Wasp Conquers the Spider: I'm... not sure if I'm a fan of the mechanics on this one. First off, there is the problem of needing a concept-defining score in Medicine in order for the Charm to be any useful as a dice-adder - if I want to be a socialite who merely has an excellent understanding of Medicine (3 dots), well, I'm out of luck, because all I'll get is an excellency, which I already have from having picked up a MA Charm. And I'll need to have aimed beforehand. (Also worth noting that the aim action already adds dice to my pool, so at this point, this is kind of like slathering chocolate syrup on my chocolate cake.) If I bought this Charm, I'd be much happier if it instead converted (Medicine/2, round up) dice from the aim bonus into automatic successes for 2m - this reduces the delta in effectiveness between Amazingly Awesome Medicine Person and Just Pretty Good Medicine Person, while also being useful no matter what, since it's effectively a non-Charm bonus now. (Even so I wouldn't be too happy though, because it'd feel like I'm being nickel-and-dimed for a fairly minor bonus.)
                "But this is not all the Charm does!", I hear you protest. Alas, it falls on deaf ears, because the second part is... well... there isn't really a way to say this nicely: it's unintelligible. The main text says you may convert (Essence or 3) levels of initiative damage into onslaught penalty. But then the cost section says this surcharge effect costs 2m 1i. Am I supposed to pay 2m once, then spend up to (Essence or 3) initiative to inflict the same as onslaught penalty? Or am I supposed to spend 2m for each point of initiative thus converted? Or does the actual charm text supersede either, and I just have to spend the initiative? Also, what is up with that Terrestrial effect? They're literally 25% as efficient with their initiative as the big boys; that's not how things are supposed to work! Especially since immaculates can ignore the effects of the keyword, in which case if this restriction was a reasonable check on the Charm's power compared to native DB magic, you're gonna be in big trouble because they suddenly shot up to 4 times the efficiency!

                Limbs Grow Weak Beneath the Needle: uhh, the prerequisite names don't match. Otherwise, it's... meh? I mean, I'd say it's definitely way too variable in effect between users (an Essence 5 Medicine 5 stylist is literally 25 times as effective as an Essence 1 Medicine 1 practicioner), but who are we kidding, they're just gonna pay WP into it and ignore it anyways. You probably want to standardize the effect and make it a gambit, with no option to ignore it by spending WP.

                Emerald Wasp Form: ...yeah I got nothing. The core problem with this effect is that it's counter-productive. You want your opponent to have a nice and low Defense so you can hit with the Gambit, but if they do, their Defend Other action isn't gonna be worth much (especially since you're specifically only ignoring penalties from Emerald Wasp Form, which doesn't even give penalties in the first place). (It's also worth noting that even if you intended that to be "ignore penalties from Emerald Wasp Style Charms", it's still going to be pretty useless unless you have recently turned the tables on your opponent - otherwise you hit them with Patient Wasp, they get massive onslaught, then their turn comes up and it just vanishes by the time you could follow up with your Gambit.)


                We'll pick it up from here tomorrow, because it's late and I have stuff to do.


                Evocations for the demonic tattoos gained from the Pact with Mara sorcerous initiation || Pyre-Kindler (Soulsteel and Red Jade Grimscythe, Artifact 3) || Tenebrous Descent (Stormcaller's Black Jade Reaver Daiklave cousin, Artifact 5)
                Advice for running the corebook shikari antagonists

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                • #23
                  Originally posted by aluminiumtrioxid View Post
                  Speaking of which, time for us to take a look at Emerald Wasp Style!


                  The Patient Wasp Conquers the Spider: I'm... not sure if I'm a fan of the mechanics on this one. First off, there is the problem of needing a concept-defining score in Medicine in order for the Charm to be any useful as a dice-adder - if I want to be a socialite who merely has an excellent understanding of Medicine (3 dots), well, I'm out of luck, because all I'll get is an excellency, which I already have from having picked up a MA Charm. And I'll need to have aimed beforehand. (Also worth noting that the aim action already adds dice to my pool, so at this point, this is kind of like slathering chocolate syrup on my chocolate cake.) If I bought this Charm, I'd be much happier if it instead converted (Medicine/2, round up) dice from the aim bonus into automatic successes for 2m - this reduces the delta in effectiveness between Amazingly Awesome Medicine Person and Just Pretty Good Medicine Person, while also being useful no matter what, since it's effectively a non-Charm bonus now. (Even so I wouldn't be too happy though, because it'd feel like I'm being nickel-and-dimed for a fairly minor bonus.)
                  "But this is not all the Charm does!", I hear you protest. Alas, it falls on deaf ears, because the second part is... well... there isn't really a way to say this nicely: it's unintelligible. The main text says you may convert (Essence or 3) levels of initiative damage into onslaught penalty. But then the cost section says this surcharge effect costs 2m 1i. Am I supposed to pay 2m once, then spend up to (Essence or 3) initiative to inflict the same as onslaught penalty? Or am I supposed to spend 2m for each point of initiative thus converted? Or does the actual charm text supersede either, and I just have to spend the initiative? Also, what is up with that Terrestrial effect? They're literally 25% as efficient with their initiative as the big boys; that's not how things are supposed to work! Especially since immaculates can ignore the effects of the keyword, in which case if this restriction was a reasonable check on the Charm's power compared to native DB magic, you're gonna be in big trouble because they suddenly shot up to 4 times the efficiency!
                  Welcome back! I missed these.
                  Dropped the terrestrial effect. Changed it from the confusing wording (sidenote: I believe it was originally Essence or 3, whichever is higher but modulating the efficencey based on Essence is something I'm iffier on then when I started these) to "increase the onslaught penalty by -3". That plus the original effect
                  Originally posted by aluminiumtrioxid View Post
                  Limbs Grow Weak Beneath the Needle: uhh, the prerequisite names don't match. Otherwise, it's... meh? I mean, I'd say it's definitely way too variable in effect between users (an Essence 5 Medicine 5 stylist is literally 25 times as effective as an Essence 1 Medicine 1 practicioner), but who are we kidding, they're just gonna pay WP into it and ignore it anyways. You probably want to standardize the effect and make it a gambit, with no option to ignore it by spending WP.
                  You know, I was gonna say I didnt feel comfortable making gambits at this point, but the 4th charm is a set of 3 special gambits. -shrug- weird
                  ANyway, changed it to Medicine penalty for Essence+1 rounds. The gambit option makes more sense. Idk why its not there? Anyway, changed it so that on a successful gambit (With a difficulty equal to your opponents resistance), you inflict a (Medicine) penalty for Martial Arts+Threshold Successes rounds.

                  Originally posted by aluminiumtrioxid View Post
                  Emerald Wasp Form: ...yeah I got nothing. The core problem with this effect is that it's counter-productive. You want your opponent to have a nice and low Defense so you can hit with the Gambit, but if they do, their Defend Other action isn't gonna be worth much (especially since you're specifically only ignoring penalties from Emerald Wasp Form, which doesn't even give penalties in the first place). (It's also worth noting that even if you intended that to be "ignore penalties from Emerald Wasp Style Charms", it's still going to be pretty useless unless you have recently turned the tables on your opponent - otherwise you hit them with Patient Wasp, they get massive onslaught, then their turn comes up and it just vanishes by the time you could follow up with your Gambit.)


                  We'll pick it up from here tomorrow, because it's late and I have stuff to do.
                  Its meant to be charms, fixing that typo. Limbs go weak beneath the needle would be the primary penalty ignored from the first 3 charms. As for the paradox, I think the fixed Limbs Grow Weak makes setting this up easier, and thus better able to use w/o much of a problem.
                  I've changed the difficulty to rely less on that (To Integrity+Stamina or Resistance+Stamina, whichever is higher).


                  I did a lot of homebrew over here. PEACH.

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                  • #24
                    New Style: Sky Tamer! PEACH


                    I did a lot of homebrew over here. PEACH.

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                    • #25
                      Bumping if only because I modified/re did Emerald Wasp, my fav. However, still PEACH since I wrote it in one day, and have lost my eye for balance.


                      I did a lot of homebrew over here. PEACH.

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                      • #26
                        Posted a longer document that contains several new demons, 1st and 2nd circle, as well as some starting lore for mortal realms in Malfeas, artifacts of Malfeas, and a few MAs (two old ones that I need to still edit, names for a few more that are still in the works)


                        I did a lot of homebrew over here. PEACH.

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                        • #27
                          Originally posted by Epee102 View Post
                          Posted a longer document that contains several new demons, 1st and 2nd circle, as well as some starting lore for mortal realms in Malfeas, artifacts of Malfeas, and a few MAs (two old ones that I need to still edit, names for a few more that are still in the works)
                          Link? Is it on the Google docs?

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                          • #28
                            Originally posted by Accelerator View Post

                            Link? Is it on the Google docs?
                            It is the bottom google doc


                            I did a lot of homebrew over here. PEACH.

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