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What is the best, most ridiculous improvised weapon you've ever used?

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  • #16
    We were doing a modern-day Exalted game in which my character, a teenage Dawn Caste, was sparring with a slightly older Solar.

    She jumped up onto a fire escape, so naturally he took hold of the fire escape, tore it off the building and smashed it into the pavement with her still on it.

    It worked a lot better than I expected.

    (The ST did not actually check my Strength+Athletics on that one, so I'm not at all sure whether my character should really have been able to do that to the poor fire escape or not, but whatever. No sense interrupting an entertaining stunt with additional math.)

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    • #17
      At sea, got attacked by giant kraken.

      Main mast + Rigging + Phantom Arrow Technique = dead monster.


      My Homebrew: Architect of the Regal Puppet Style (WIP) || Monkey Style || Radiant Halo of Incandescent Might || Pale Driver, Ruination of the Edifice of Tyranny || Sublime Percussion, Just a Whole lot of Fun || Idris, The Graceful Heart of Purpose

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      • #18
        Originally posted by Baaldam View Post


        True, won't deny that fact.

        But my doubt was related to Sorcerous Overlord's "dwarven bread" comment being a possible Discworld citation, if memory tricks me not.
        bingo. The Scone of Stones.


        ..."But I've bought a big bat, I'm all ready you see. Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me"

        Message me for Japanese translations.

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        • #19
          Originally posted by Sorcerous Overlord View Post
          bingo. The Scone of Stones.

          Oh yeah, i knew that was familiar. thanks.

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          • #20
            Originally posted by Sorcerous Overlord View Post


            Dwarven bread can be used as a hammer, a club, a crowbar, armor, and furniture. In truly desperate times, you can even eat it
            Dwarf bread is great. If you have dwarf bread, you'll never go hungry. For, if you have dwarf bread, absolutely anything will seem edible so that you don't need to eat the dwarf bread: raw sheep, your own shoes, rocks, piping hot magma, etc.

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            • #21
              Before this becomes the Terry Pratchett thread, I’d like to list another improvised weapon…

              Today’s game session revealed that the Evening Master Brueghel of the Council of Entities once murdered an Abyssal with… a sixty-foot silkworm caterpillar.

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              • #22
                On topic: paired mules.

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                • #23
                  Zenith used a temple column the other day XD

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                  • #24
                    Way back in a gonzo 1E game I was in our characters fought a Lunar Akuma that would spit balefire webs at people. My character wasn't overly the brightest, but also had zero scruples and one hell of a greedy streak. ST called for a roll to figure out what of value could be scavenged, which I proceeded to botch. There was the obvious stuff that couldn't really be hand-waved like any moonsilver and such, but the ST decided I was absolutely certain that web it had spit on an ally was priceless. My character stuffed it in an iron cauldron and started carrying it around. Eventually he realized that, while it was worthless in coin, he could fish it out of the cauldron with a big metal stick and fling it at people.

                    The second isn't a weapon, per se, but in another game I played a Righteous Devil stylist who stunted using Cloud of Ebon Devils as a big area attack. (Which started with easily one of my silliest questions in a game, "Hey, what happens if I INTENTIONALLY botch?")


                    Exalted Behind a Screen of Jade, Savant of the Immaculate Texts, No Moon Scholar, Seeking Awakened, Cloaked Changeling, Disciple of the Antler Crown, Wraith, Good Sitting Dog, Best Lurking Cat with Bones, Pioneer Pooch, Scion with Shield of Knowledge, Director

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                    • #25
                      Back in 2e I had a player uproot a tree, and then rather than clubbing his enemies with it he jumped on it and proceeded to do skateboard stunts with it as a way to swing it around and simply used the mass of the tree spinning through the air from the stunts as his form of attack.

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                      • #26
                        That gives me the visual of someone with an oversized war hammer that's too unwieldy to swing traditionally using it like a seesaw to fight.

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                        • #27
                          Our ath supernal used a temple pillar.

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                          • #28
                            I recently had a lunar PC use a potato as an improvised weapon. She was fighting down in a root cellar and grabbed a potato off the wall as a weapon. She ended the fight by shoving the potato down her opponent's throat, all the way into his chest cavity, and replacing his heart with it. She ripped the heart back out and immediately drank it for his form.

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