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The Worst Lunar Totems

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  • The Worst Lunar Totems

    Hey all, I had this thought while browsing Wikipedia when I couldn’t sleep. What would be the worst lunar animal totems? Think of animals that are impractical, gross, or in such an evolutionary niche that they cannot be played (nor would any sane person wish to play them).

    I’ll start us off with these little guy/gals.

    https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rhizocephala

  • #2
    Originally posted by Sticks View Post
    Hey all, I had this thought while browsing Wikipedia when I couldn’t sleep. What would be the worst lunar animal totems? Think of animals that are impractical, gross, or in such an evolutionary niche that they cannot be played (nor would any sane person wish to play them).

    I’ll start us off with these little guy/gals.

    https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rhizocephala
    Are you proposing that the Lunar would assume a form that could only parasitize crabs?


    I have approximate knowledge of many things.
    Watch me play Dark Souls III (completed)
    https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLDtbr08HW8RW4jOHN881YA3yRZBV4lpYw Watch me play Breath of the Wild (updated 12/03)

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    • #3
      how about a Sponge or coral Lunar?

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      • #4
        Originally posted by vampire hunter D View Post
        how about a Sponge or coral Lunar?
        Considering the Lunar Stamina tree, this might actually be pretty scary. An angry Lunar might literally suck up a storm mother’s supernatural weather or a sorcerer’s Mists of Eventide and spit it back out at her, all without ever moving.

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        • #5
          How 'bout a kiwi?

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          • #6
            Snake. Turning into a snake never helps.

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            • #7
              Turning into a snake is super useful.

              No, the worst totem is the one that's fully adapted to something that you're very unlikely to require skill in; eating bamboo.
              That being the panda.
              What Totemic charms does Panda even let you access?


              I run... Lunars: The Apocalypse! Exalted 3rd edition. Fimbulwinter is upon the world as an Ice Age begins, and only six young Lunar heroes have a chance of saving humanity.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by Morangias View Post
                Snake. Turning into a snake never helps.
                That's always been a bunk entry on the Evil Overlord List, because when Thulsa Doom did it, he evaded Conan by slithering through a secret passage in the wall, and Jafar was doing pretty well when Scaled Up; had the protagonists on the ropes, in fact. Then he wished to become a genie...

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                • #9
                  Ocalot. They're sick all the time.

                  (Master cylinder.)


                  Hi, I'm JohnDoe244. My posts represent my opinions, not facts.

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Saur Ops Specialist View Post

                    That's always been a bunk entry on the Evil Overlord List, because when Thulsa Doom did it, he evaded Conan by slithering through a secret passage in the wall, and Jafar was doing pretty well when Scaled Up; had the protagonists on the ropes, in fact. Then he wished to become a genie...

                    It kind of shows the List is a product of a certain period, the 70s, before either of those films.

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Baaldam View Post
                      It kind of shows the List is a product of a certain period, the 70s, before either of those films.
                      Just to clarify for those who aren't aware, this is a joke; the Evil Overlord List is a product of the early '90s, not the 70s. (Sorry to be pedantic, but it is my earliest source of geek cred. )


                      Developer for Exalted.

                      Want to write for Exalted? Look at the freelancer submission guidelines.

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                      • #12
                        Well, the two Lunars in my group--I have a group again!--are a butterfly-winged tyrant lizard and... a horse. Not saying those are bad, but that is the experience I'm working with.

                        As far as worst... maybe the Dung Beetle? Or maybe Japanese freshwater eel? I don't think there are many totemic options for 'goes well on sushi or barbecued'...

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                        • #13
                          Dung beetles could be master crafters though, plus they’re hardy, very pretty, and have associations with various Egyptian gods.

                          Going back to marine life, I think a Tritonia would be a pretty miserable Lunar totem, or any shell-less Gastropoda.

                          And to be clear, what would make the Rhizocehyla a bad lunar totem is that it is such an ultra-specialized parasite that it truncates usual life-cycles and doesn’t even really eat, it just destroys its host and reproduces.
                          Last edited by Sticks; 10-18-2019, 02:05 PM.

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Sticks View Post
                            Going back to marine life, I think a Tritonia would be a pretty miserable Lunar totem
                            Are they one of those sea slugs that eats animals with poisonous spines that they can then take for themselves?

                            Also being really flamboyantly coloured in a manner that causes confusion in predators?

                            Originally posted by Sticks
                            And to be clear, what would make the Rhizocehyla a bad lunar totem is that it is such an ultra-specialized parasite that it truncates usual life-cycles and doesn’t even really eat, it just destroys its host and reproduces.
                            I'd give such a Lunar licence to do that to enemies.


                            I have approximate knowledge of many things.
                            Watch me play Dark Souls III (completed)
                            https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLDtbr08HW8RW4jOHN881YA3yRZBV4lpYw Watch me play Breath of the Wild (updated 12/03)

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Ulthwithian View Post
                              As far as worst... maybe the Dung Beetle? Or maybe Japanese freshwater eel? I don't think there are many totemic options for 'goes well on sushi or barbecued'...
                              Dung beetles go well on sushi?


                              Hi, I'm JohnDoe244. My posts represent my opinions, not facts.

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