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The New Adventures of Spearpsycho Soulshitterson

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  • Anthonox
    started a topic The New Adventures of Spearpsycho Soulshitterson

    The New Adventures of Spearpsycho Soulshitterson

    And thus verily, a brooding and beautiful figure descended upon Lookshy. It was Spearphyco Soulshitterosn, and he was angry with grief.

    The guards at the gates mocked him, and they said "you are not permitted to enter this city!" And they laughed with malice.

    Spearpsycho simply smiled, for he was in disguise and no one knew who he was yet, but then he REMOVED his cloak and his anima glowed.

    "No!" the guards said. "It is a solar exalted! He has come to steal all of our magitechs!"

    "Hahaha, you are wrong!" Psypsycho said. "I am no mere solar. And I am only here for one thing. You are wrong TWICE!" And he attacked them with his mighty spear, penetrating all of them with one thrust, his shaft baried deeply within their vulernatbe flesh.

    "You thought i was just a weak helpless man, but i am so much more! And with the new edition, my charms are now melee charms, and i have develpoed more for my spear!"

    "What?" the guards said but then they died. the mystery would be forever so for them.


    Spearsksycho entered the city, uncontested for the spear of his anima kept all at bay. and he went into the palace and helped himself to a powerful spear that was locked away forever, for it was too dangerous for even solars. but spearschyo took it anwyasy, for he was not afraid of power. this time he would not fail. Killfuck Soulshitter would fall by his mighty new spear, that had evocations now.

  • ErikM
    replied
    Link is dead now. Try the archive. ( http://forums.whitewolfarchive.com/d...=posts&t=50582 )

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  • Lord Sia
    replied
    Tsor Lo Tser had finally tracked hiss archnemsensis, Spearpsycho Soulsthitterson, to the basturds sekrit base. Using his super-snaky-ultra-perfekt-hiding combo, he sneaked invisibily into the base - and promptly stoped in the dor, transfixxed to the spot as his six mismatched eyes caught seight of the most wunderful thing he had ever seen - his beloved Radiant Silver Beauty, wearing nothing but some really hot underwear, was lounging around just outsid the hyperbole gravy t chamber, where the bastardly Soulhitterson was running a round being all cool and stuff - Tsor Lo Tser was too busy committing every square milimitre of his belover Radiant Silver Beauty to memory, from the way the light caught in her silver-blonde hare to the gentle curve of her impeckably pedicured toenails.

    Suddenly, something Soulshtiterson said made Radiant Silver Beauty's eyes filled with tears. The eternally burning rage with in Tsor Lo Tser's scrawny and kind of pasty chest exploded into a holocaustic inferno, and he was just about to launch himself at his hated foe withe a deffening war cry when Radiant Silver Beauty suddenly stood up, and his rage was quickly repressed as he began to commit the glorious perfection of her back side in nothing but skimpy underwear to memory. Then she began to weave a spelll, her both moving rythmically through the moetions of the spell, bouncing, swinging, gryrating, her voice like tiny bells even as she spat out the hash syllables of the black tougne of Mallfaes. 'Finaly,' Tsor Lo Tser thought as he saw his beloved conjure up a blood ape to attack his archnemnensis, 'finally my beloved has broken free from the bondage impos-' and then Tsor Lo Tser lost himself in unprintable thoughts about his beloved tied up in compromising positions.

    And then he was ran over by a scared-shitless blood ape.

    'Wat was dat?!" Tsor Lo Tser asked, but luckly noone heard so no one answered him as he climber back up, silentley sheering that his super-snaky-ultra-perfekt-hiding combo had held up despite the vicious assault vissited upon him by the fell minion of the evil Soulshittreson. No sooner has he thought that and turned towards his fel foe than he saw his beloved, in the throes of casting an even more powerful spell, one that involved even more bouncing, and swinging, and gyrating, and once moar was entrenched by her radiant silver beauty. As the spell reached it climax - just before Tsor Lo Tser's rather limited self control did, luckily - it was no mere first circle demon, but a second circle whcich appeared - Sondok, She-Who-Stands-In-Doorways, Warden Soul of the Green Sun himself. Again, Tsor Lo Tser rejoiced; 'Unwarae of my presence, to defend herself against Soulsshittersson, my beloved has conjured a demon slave to-' and then he promptly lost himself in unprintable thoughts about his beloved wearing black leather and wielding a whip.

    And then he was run over by a scared-shitless Sondok.

    This time, it took him quiet some more time to recover, this time to the sounds of a great battule and his belowed gasping with fright. Quick like a drunken bohemian waxwing he rose to his feet, ready to defend her with his very life. What he saw filled his mind with exitensital hooror; the glistening black shape, the non-euclidian patterns, the way it tightly clung to his beloved's most private parts, the tiny slip of pink cloth discarded off to one side - Radiant Silver Beauty had changed her panties, and he hadn't awake to witness it! A scream rose then from his throat, a keaning cry so highly pitched that nonone could hear it, and he sank to his knees with despair, his eyees still focused on the curve of his beloved's behind, memorising and cataloguing every detail, silently debating the relative virtues of the innoscently cut and sedductive pink set to the sinfully temptating black lace, all while cursing the cruel vagaries of fate. And then it hit him - it wasn't fate - Clelestlials Exxxalted like himself were immune too that! It had to be someone else, and since it couldnot have beein his beloved, it must had been his arknemmessis! The inferno of his rage rekindled, Tsor Lo Tser turned towards his enemy with murederous intent.

    And then Soulshittreason blew up the heccatonkykhire and the hyberbolemic gravytrain chamber.

    As time warped and twisted around him like taffy in a taffy-pulling machine, Tsor Lo Tser found himself seeing the same image over and over and over again in slow motion; his beloved, running up to his hated foe and showering him with her affection; hugging him, kissing him, pressing her bountiful love against him. Again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again..........

    It was yet another very, very long and painful day in the life of Tsor Lo Tser.

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  • Anthonox
    replied
    Spearspcyho was training in the hyperoblic time chamber to make himself even stronger. but also to make himself faster and tougher, because the strong gravity of the chamber made all of his movments slow and made him tired faster, so it was really good training. His hot lover Radiant Silver Beauty was also there but she wasn't training she was just lounging about in some really hot underwear because she didn't want to ruin her perfect skin with sweat or muscles or anything like that. it was very importnt to her that she stay as beautiful as possible for spearsycho because hw as everything to her, her intire life.

    "this isn't working" sperspycho suddenly said, his voice was loud but also soft and mysterious. "I need an opponent worthy of my spear so i can train better." and Radiant Silver Beauty cried because she could never be the perfect pertner for her love. her makeup didn't run though. Spearsycho wanted to comfort her but he couldn't stop training because his mind was set, so instead he said "since you can't fight me, what about summoning a worthy foe" and Radiant Silver Beauty agreed. At first she tried summoning a blood ape but it ran away as soon as it saw Spearspycho for his fear of him was stronger than any binding. then she summoned Sonduck thinking it woudl be better, but Sondakc ran away too. Finally she thought of something, and she changed into black panties so she could use necromancy, and she summoned a hecroniticialsies that was made of weapons and anger.

    At the sight of this fearsome creautre Psyerpsycho finally thoguht "yes a foe worthy fo my spear but also a kindred spirit. he know pain and fury like i do" and they fought with dark and terrible power, the hecronticis using all of its weapons to attack Spearsycho at once but even then he was toof ast for it, but the gravity made it harder than ever.

    he was enjoying himsefl with this fight, and thought that he hadnt had such a good fight since..and then he remembered his father and his joy turned to bitter rage, and with a burning strike he destryed the hecronics,and the blow was so strong that it destroyed him for real, not just banished. and spearsycho seethed with rage and was about to destroy the time chamber with a single thrust. but raidiant silver bauty saw him and was moved to tears, and she ran over to hug him and calm him down and kissed him on the face and it eventuallyw orkthed.

    "i am sorry for that Radiant Silver Beautfy. I will try to be stronger and contro my powerful rage."

    And radiant silver beauty thought to herself "and i will try to be stronger as well. for you my tormented love"

    Leave a comment:


  • Lord Sia
    replied
    Thank you. I have every intention of making him a recurring... Non-event... In the Adventures of Spearpsycho Soulshitterson. At least from the main character's perspective.

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  • Anthonox
    replied
    I am loving that poor chimerical bastard. An excellent addition to the canon.

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  • Lord Sia
    replied
    High above the school soared an eagel. It was no ordinary eagel, though, for it had two heads with three aeyes (two of which were red with black dots, sort-of like a sharingin, and the last one pure silver like byakugen) and the beaks were filled with tiny razorshapr teeth (lik those on a shark, except tinyer and more sharper) and three wings and a tail maid of a dozen tentaculs.

    There he was, the eagul thouht; Spearpsycho Soulshitterson, his arknemenensis. The one who had defeat him with casual ease, time and again, humiliated him in front of his beloved Radiant Silver Beauty, the most beautiful of all beeings in all of Creation. But not this tiem, though the eagel; this time, Soulshettirson would be the one defeated, left for dead in a dirty ditch or pile of refuse or showed down a garbage chute, while he would be teh one all the pretty gurls would stare at and sigh and moon after and want.

    And tehn the eagul saw her; a pretty girrl, almost as pretty as his beloved Radiant Silver Beauty... And she was staring at that damnabel fool Soulshittersson with those longing eyes!The eagel snarled in frustration as yet another girl fel for the stupidly handsome charms of the big brute Soulshitterson. The same as with every other girl he had ever loved, snatched away by that jerk before he had even had a chance!

    With a dissonant, warbling cry, which really sounded more like the squawk of an asthmatic rooster, the eagel dove towards Soulsittershon, preparing his new 30 charm super-duper-ultra-mega-uberleet-thousand-damage-twenty-hit combo as he did, his gleaming moonsilver talons stretching out, burning with unholy light and dripping with thirty different acids and poisons, three of which were his own origianl creations spceially made just to kill Soulshittreason. The wind roared in the eagels' misshaped and missmatched ears - one was from a bunny-rabbit, the other from an old gorilla - as it flew at the speed of sound towards his hated foe-!

    And just as the eagel was about to hit him, Soulshitterson jumped on his magic carpet and flew of, acting as if he didn't even notice the mutant monstrosity which had just smashed into the wall behind him at terminal velocity.

    The poor eagel was seeing sextuple, which only made him angrier as all six images of Spearpsycho Soulshitterson flying away without even a glance towards his broken form seared itself into his perfect memory (damn you, Counting the Elephant's Wrinkles, damn you!). Dragging himself out of the pile of rubble, he turned to pursue his depart-, that is, fleeing foe. As he did, his anima banner began to flare, no longer suppressed by the custom stealth charms built into his super-duper-ultra-mega-uberleet-thousand-damage-twenty-hit combo...

    ... At which point the girls whose changing room he'd broken into noticed the intruder's tentacles, and promptly channelled their inner Peleps Deled upon the Anathema.

    It was yet another long, painful day in the life of Tsor Lo Tser.

    Leave a comment:


  • Sanctaphrax
    replied
    Originally posted by Cadwyn View Post
    I, what... what did I just read?
    http://forums.white-wolf.com/default...osts&m=1107696.

    Leave a comment:


  • Anthonox
    replied
    Oh, and as before, everyone feel free to contribute your own adventures as well. Connection to previous events/reality/sensibility can be as firm or tenuous as you desire.

    Previously mentioned characters aside from Spearpsycho include his impossibly beautiful Lunar mate Radiant Silver Beauty, his father Killfuck Soulshitter the Abyssal murder-hobo to end all murder hobos, and his mother Invincible Sword Princess the Solar combat twink. Also Hermione Granger and Panther.

    Leave a comment:


  • Anthonox
    replied
    It was Monday morning at school. it was science class, and Bella Swan was sitting next to Edward Cullen again like usual. He was so mysterious, like no other boy she had ever seen.

    Then the teacher went to the front of the class and said "class we have a new student, his name is Spear Soulson." And into the class walked Spearpsycho Soulshitterson. Bella looked at him, and was entrancted. There was a sorrow and grief about him that was so mesmerizing, and also he was very handsome. he was holding his spear and he sat down at the back of teh class, not even making eye contact with anyone. The teacher said "Spear you cant have weapons in class there is a zero tolerance policy here" but his slilence unnerved him and he didnt say anything else the rest of teh day, just passed out papers. But Bella just stared at him all class long.

    During lunch time Bella was sitting alone watching the beautiful stranger as he practiced his martial arts with his spear. Then Edward Cullen went up to him and said "your kind doesn't belong here, leave before I make you leave." Spearpsycho said nothing and continued to practice his martial arts, but then Edward grabbed him by his neck and picked him up off the ground and threw him into the wall, leaving a dent. But Spearskcyho brushed himselff off like it was nothing and said "no, it is YOU who do not belong here, for this is the world of the living, not the dead." And Spearsycho attacked with tremendous speed. Edward was very fast and strong and managed to dodge a few attacks, ut then he got hit in his leg. Everyone saw it, but then the wound vanished like he didn't get hit.

    "Haha" Edward said "wounds mean NOTHING compared to what ive been through." Even though eh was laughing it was a sad laugh.

    "I know much about pain myself, Shimmering Blood Monster" and Edward gasped because that was his new name. "I know all about your pains and your other friends pains...ABYSSAL." And Edward gasped again because it was true. And Bella also gasped because she was watching the entire thing "What do you want, Spearpsycho?" Shimmering Blood Monster asked. "I have come seeking information about you know who." And Shimmering Blood Monster did indeed know, for who else would the famous Spearpsycho Soulshitterson be looking for? "My circle fought him last year, it was a brutal battle, but all of us combined drove him off. you know we live in peace here with the mortals and do not hurt them so dont take uyor fight up with us." Spearpsycho agreed to this and nooded, but then said "but perhaps after i finish things with my father you and i can spar again, for you are a better fight than most" and Shimmering Blood Monster grinned his sharp teeth.

    And before Spearspycho left on his magic carpet, he also said to Bella "and I will see you again as well" and Bella gasped again.

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  • WalrusJones
    replied
    I support spear psychos in all their colors.

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  • light-hero
    replied
    And fan catgirls were everywhere! Internet bends around the hellish cow

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  • Anthonox
    replied
    Now now, I could never rock a hat the way Howard could. Though I do share a birthday with H.P. Lovecraft, so maybe that is significant?

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  • hopeluvjoy
    replied
    Originally posted by John Mørke View Post
    The lost writings of Robert E. Howard. (tear drop)
    Robert E. Howard wishes he could write as good as this masterpiece.

    Leave a comment:


  • John Mørke
    replied
    The lost writings of Robert E. Howard. (tear drop)

    Leave a comment:

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