Things One is Not Allowed to do in Exalted

[MaxAstro]

Inspired by an old thread and a new game.

1) Not allowed to use Resplendant Destinies to convince the other players that I'm "helping the GM run a few different NPCs".
2) Not allowed to use travel through Yu-Shan to arrive at each major location well before the rest of the party, thereby supporting the above claim.
3) Not allowed to have a secret society whose membership consists solely of my own Respendant Destinies.
4) Especially not if said secret society supposedly teaches a rare Celestial Martial Art, thereby explaining why all the "NPCs" I am playing seem to have the same fighting style.
5) When the party discovers that I have been manipulating them to my own ends the entire campaign and am more or less responsible for all the trouble they keep getting into, I am to understand that I am on my own as far as an escape plan goes.

[Crumplepunch]

6) A Fire Aspect is not allowed to take three dot specialities in "When On Fire" in every Ability.
7) You can't take any more skin mount amulets when your body mass is thirty percent hearthstone by volume.
8) No more repeating the Gandalf Balrog speech every time you meet a new demon.

[ZealousChristian24]

10) Not allowed to do anything that would make the Ebon Dragon cry.

[nalak42]

13) The Proper protocol for meeting foreign dignitaries and divinities is not taking them to the highest tower in the kingdom and using it to piledriver them.

[HighPriest]

14. You can't just say that all your Resplendent Destinies look like you, but wearing Groucho Marx glasses.
14a. Alternately, you CAN say that all your Resplendent Destinies look like you wearing Groucho Marx glasses, but the Pattern Spiders are going to notice.
15. No destroying Gem just "because I was bored".
16. Right after locating the Eye of Autochthon is probably not the right time to take up juggling.
16a. The Eye of Autochthon is not a toy. Stop playing with it.
17. Stop quoting Monty Python, at least In Character. It's not lore-friendly (an actual rule).
18. Just because we are IRL Texans playing a group of Abyssals working in Nexus doesn't mean we all need to make "Walker in Darkness, Nexus Ranger" jokes literally every game.

[Fata-Ku]

19. One will not decapitate their fellow players. Twice. In a row. As they're reincarnating.
20. I will not use IRL meats, fruits and vegetables to represent IC sex acts.
20a. I will not inappropriately place said produce on the storyteller to represent said sex acts.
20b. No matter which Knacks I have.

[HighPriest]

19. One will not decapitate their fellow players. Twice. In a row. As they're reincarnating.

19a. Especially not while yelling "There can be only ONE!"
19b. Or, alternately, ONLY while yelling "There can be only ONE!"

[Nervaqus987]

21) When foreign emissaries arrive baring unwelcomed messages, it is neither appropriate nor subtle to interrupt them mid speech and ask "Could we finish this conversation over by the Pit of Death?"
22) And in the event that Social Charms allow you to do the above and get away with it, you are most certainly not allowed to quote Three Hundred while kicking above mentioned foreign emissaries into the Pit of Death.

[nalak42]

23) When doing a heart transplant a squirrel tied to a pine cone is not a substitute for a new heart.

[ZealousChristian24]

23A) Even if my medical charms say otherwise.

[HighPriest]

23b. And no, a hamster on an exercise wheel isn't a valid substitute for a brain.

[Fata-Ku]

I'f I've recreated most of the Cast of My Little Pony, Friendship is magic as Third and Second Circle demons, it's time to retire the devil tiger.

Or time to move on to the Super Secret Bonus Content of Legend
(ctrl+f: "super secret bonus content")

[Marros56]

25) Not allowed to fail almost every Valor Check in the campaign, even if it's the only reason I survived to the end.

[Andonno]

25) Not allowed to instigate a quest into Pure Chaos for the sole purpose of getting an annoying NPC eaten by Hannya.
. 25a) Feeding NPCs to Hannya is a permissible secondary goal.
26) The loss of Glamour Resistance is not "Proof of the inevitable triumph over the Raksha of the sin of shape".
27) Ergot poisoning does not let you teleport to the Middlemarch, and I am not to use Undetectable Lie to convince the Creation-born otherwise.
28) Appearance 7 is not an excuse.
29) No one believes me when I claim to be Ishvara.
. 29a) Yet.
30) No longer allowed to have "parasitiod wasp" as my Assumption of Beast Shape.
31) Not to use Emotion-Weaving Style on the Unconquered Sun to give him any of the following Motivations:
. 31a) Free the Yozi
. 31b) Feed Creation into the Underworld
. 31c) Aid in the Forging of Nidana
. 31d) You know what? No using Emotion-Weaving Style of the Unconquered Sun at all.
32) Or any other Incanae.

[PlotVitalNPC]

33) Even though my Getimian has mote pools thematically tied to masculinity and femininity, a charm for injecting someone with motes to change their sex is right out.

Just guessing, here.