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(fansplat idea) the Cosmic Exalted, Chosen of Nemesis the Red Sun

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  • (fansplat idea) the Cosmic Exalted, Chosen of Nemesis the Red Sun

    this is an old idea of mine, and while I've initially wanted to wait until 3rd Edition would be out- but I've decided that working on the fluff now won't be too difficult, and that unlike mechanics it won't be too hard to make few small adjustments to it according to the setting once the new edition would be out. Any thought and criticisms would be welcomed!


    Nurihan's house was burned into ash.
    He couldn't believe to that sight- it was like some sort of a mad dream. Everything he worked for- his possessions, his paintings.. his family- everything has turned into ash, carried by the cold wind. Now, he had nothing- he was nothing- and all because he didn't gave up on the job as the court's painter. He knew that his competitor was an aggressive person, but he never thought it would come down to this. He didn't even tried to make it look like an accident- there was a note on the burned house, near the scorched skeletons of his wife and children, saying "All of your bright colours has now turned to black. The painting of your soul in now torn and burned. If you are wise, you should never paint again".
    Nurihan looked at the note, almost can't stop himself from crying. After what happened, he didn't thought he would ever pick a brush again in those life. Not out of fear, but because he simply couldn't. He knew that if he'll ever try, the sight of the burned skeletons and the ash in the wind would haunt him..
    "Don't cry"
    Nurihan looked around, surprised by the sudden voice. There was no one there. He started to think that perhaps he was starting to get mad out of sorrow, when the whisper was heard again- a delicate, feminine voice, echoing as if passed a great distance to reach him.

    "Don't cry" the voice repeated "Tears are meant for the living, not the dead."
    Suddenly, he felt a strong wave of warmth going through his body. All around him, the world has been covered with red mists and black shadows.
    "The dead wish for for passion" the voice continued "They hunger for lust. They yearn for pain. Justice in their bread. Vengeance is their wine"
    Nurihan looked up, and saw a terrible sight- he was no longer near his burned home. Instead, he was on a desolated world, surrounded by lifeless ground and endless darkness while a single source of light was a burning, blood-red sun.

    "There is nothing without a price" the voice kept going, uncaring for Nurihan's horror "The scales must be balanced. The dead are hungry. Help them go to sleep. Fire was the one to devour them.."
    there was a long silence, and then the voice whispered one more sentence.
    "Fire would be the one to feed them"
    A sudden pain went through Nurihan's body. He screamed as his muscles and bones shifted and moved, rearranging themselves into a better, stronger form. Just as he felt like his heart was going to explode- he suddenly saw the faces of his wife and children, smiling, laughing. For them, he would endure it- he would endure everything, just to let them rest in peace..
    And then, as fast as it started, it was over. The pain has vanished, and he was back in front of his burned house- but something was different. He was different. He didn't felt sorrow anymore- instead, his mind was sharp, clearer then it ever was. He opened his bag and pulled a single item- a brush. Looking at it, he felt the smile showing upon his lips- he was wrong, apparently. He was going to make another painting in his life.
    And this one would be blood red.



    After the Primordials finished forging the world from raw chaos and created the gods to supervise it, they put one above them all to govern Creation as its great guardian- the Unconquered Sun. His light shined brightly as it cut through the Wyld and banished the horrors back to the dark sea from which they spawned. In order to make sure it would never fail in its mission, the makers has made him perfect- no one would ever be able to stand against him, and his radiance would burn all of the world's enemies into ash.

    While the Primordials were happy with their creation, one has dared to doubt their success- the Wyld was the realm of endless possibilities. In that pure chaos, everything could happen. What would if one day, the impossible would be possible, and the Unconquered Sun would be conquered? While usually the proud Primordials would scuff such ideas as nonsense, the one to rise the question was Oramus. Knowing that he was among the wisest of their kind, the others heeded his warning and started to think about a plan to deal with that impossible scenario- and for that reason, they birthed another Sun, one which was like a dark mirror of her brother- dedicated to vengeance just as the former was dedicated for protection. It was Nemesis, the Blue Sun.

    Seeing the strength of Nemesis, the Primordials wondered what they should with her while the Sun was still shining. There were already two suns in the Heaven, and another would be too much for the world to tolerate. Thankfully, the Dragon Behind the World has already thought about a solution- he put her in deep sleep and sent her to a place who while it was as distant from Creation as possible, it was also able to reach out everywhere on the world. An impossible place for an impossible plan, birthed by the maker of everything which never was- Cosmos, the Edge of the World.

    While Oramus's specialty was thinking about the impossible, there was one thing he missed- that one day, the lowest among Creation would rise with the help of the gods and send him and his siblings into Hell. The Incarna, unaware that another was created, didn't searched after the delicate gates which bonded Cosmos to Creation, and so Nemesis was left alone, lost in the eternal darkness of her birthplace.

    Until one day, she woke up.

    No one knows when exactly it happened- there was a lot of chaos in the world since the Solars fell from their thrones, and there is no record of the first time the Breath of Nemesis has reached Creation. What is known that once she awakened, she saw that her makers bound or dead, that Creation was broken and that her own brothers and sisters were corrupted. While she has never saw Creation in her own eyes, she dreamed about it in her sleep- about a beautiful garden, guarded by five elements and illuminated by magnificent light. Now, her dream was ruined- and justice had to be done, even if the Heavens were to fall.

    Filled with anger, she pierced her own chest. Shining more brightly then ever, and ripped a piece of her heart. The deed has diminished her, turning her fire from a scorching furnace into cold embers.She was still powerful, but not as she was once. Then, she scattered the pieces of her own broken heart and sent them through the gates. It took hundreds of years for the burning comets of her hatred to reach the Creation, but once they did they immediately found people to carry her rage- people who were broken and lost, that everything was taken from them, that corrupted law has bound them, that all which was pure in their soul was defiled by the deeds of others. Those people absorbed her scorching fire, and those who survived the heat were able to hear the message which was hidden in the visions of their long lost Patron- this world is broken. Fix it.

    Since then, the Cosmic Exalts (as they name themselves after the whereabouts of their goddess) travel Creation. Some seek to find a way to bring their Patron back to Creation, replacing the corrupted Sun who cared nothing for their life with a more passionate one. Others simply wished to see the all world burn, and allied themselves with forbidden gods, demons or the dead (especially the latter, since manipulating dead Essence felt natural for their abilities). Most, however, carry out their own little vengeance and bring their own form of justice. This world is not a paradise- but it could be.

    Someone just need to pay the price.


    so- let's speak about my visions for their mechanics a bit. They are meant to be Solaroid in terms of power level- maybe not as strong as a Solar, but still close enough to stand toe to toe with them. They are equal to Abyssals in terms of Necromancy, being able to reach through all of 3 circles. They can reach up to Celestial Circle in Sorcery and Martial Arts, and maybe they can get of Sidereal Martial arts under a guidance (as Solars). They aren't that good with Evocations, which they gain from Soulsteel, and their Charms are Attribute based. I'm also thinking about a system which allows them to bind the souls of the guilty to themselves as some sort of "Vestments" who enhance their abilities, but I'm not sure how that would work. I also have zero idea about names for their Castes.

    so, what do you think?
    Last edited by LostLight; 06-22-2015, 11:03 AM.

  • LostLight
    replied
    so- does anyone has an idea for Caste names? I assume the roles are going to be the "regular" ones (warrior, scholar, priest, rouge and diplomat), but I have an hard time thinking about a good theme for the names to go around..

    Leave a comment:


  • LostLight
    replied
    ammm.. Diurnal doesn't sounds right- it is too far from Nemesis, semantically speaking. Heliacal sounds better, I think.

    Leave a comment:


  • Lioness
    replied
    Diurnal is another word that's occured to me for hypothetical Chosen of Another Sun.

    Leave a comment:


  • LostLight
    replied
    wow- that was draining and longer then expected! and to think I've thought about writing two more sidebars after that :P

    EDIT- well, just noticed Mr.Jauxs's post. Anyway, just to clarify- in the story, Nemesis has watched for a lot more then a month. She watched Creation for years, scanning the process through which the Exalted were created until she made a process which worked similarly, yet differently. Cosmos is a time bending place, so far away that you can watch events from the past as easily as the present if you know where to look for. The story up there just represent how the come of Nemesis was felt from Creation's point of view.
    Last edited by LostLight; 06-25-2015, 10:19 AM.

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  • LostLight
    replied
    so- while personally I don't think that Nemesis just awakened, judges the world and spontaneously created her Exalted is problematic, it seems that more then one person thought that the idea is lacking for a number of reasons- and considering that I've asked for criticisms, I should listen to what others have to say, right?

    now, after giving it some thought (and using Lioness's suggestion for a periodical cataclysmic event), I present to you a legend to tell Nemesis's story-

    The Legend of the Burning Month and the War of Two Suns

    It was during the time when the Shogunate was young, shortly after the despised Anathema were dethroned by the hands of the noble Dragon Blooded. It was the time of Fire, and the people waited eagerly for the end of the warmth and the started planing for the harvest and the coming of the Calibration. The gods of the Seasons worked fervently, sending commands to the Terrestrial gods to shepherd the clouds and whisper blessings to the trees. During that day, Creation was peaceful, for the first time after long years of enslavement to the demon kings who stole the Sun's light.

    But then, came the night.

    Most people didn't noticed the difference- only the wisest, those who followed the constellations to translate the words of the gods, saw it. A new star, shining far, far away. None of the wise ones knew the meaning of that strange omen- some believed it to be the star of the new Empire, and that the star was given as a sign of appreciation from the gods, a gift for freeing Creation from the cursed Anathema. Others didn't agreed- they said that the star was crossing many existing calculations, that it disrupted the course of other stars and changed their original meaning. Fates of prosperity turned into ruin, destinies of ruin became worse. Yet, most didn't listened to those warnings. The change in the stars did frightened the common men, but eventually all they cared about was for the coming harvest.

    The next day was warm, warmer then expected. While it was not out of the ordinary- for the end of Fire was always the hottest month in Creation- the wise were worried. Those who knew the ways of spirits or saw beyond the realm of flesh claimed that the Essence of the world acted in a strange way, as if something was influencing it. The priests said that the gods were also worried, but there was still no danger on the horizon. However, when the night came again, those worries became more justified- the light of the distant star became stronger, disrupting the cycles of heaven and revealing itself to mortal eyes. A blue star, whose radiance was brighter then almost any other.

    When the Sun came up again, the day was hotter then before. When Luna risen, the light of the distant star grew stronger. The cycle kept going, making wiser more and more worried. Quickly, people were afraid to go out during the day- many have died in the South, burned by the harsh waves of heat and semi molten sands. In the West, the oceans started to boil, spilling dead fish upon the shores. Trees who grew since the beginning of time in the East has collapsed , dried and dead. Snow who never melted in the North has turned to water. Even the great Pole of Earth started to shake, destroying whole neighborhoods who were built to its feet. Now, not only the wise ones of the villages were worried- the sorcerers of the Dragon Blooded gathered together, searching for advice. They called down the gods, they summoned demons, they reached for the dead and even met up with the devise Fair Folk from beyond the world. Yet, they got no answers- except of one. It was the Soul of He Who See the Shape of Things to Come, the Serpent Who Watch, and she said one sentence- "The Blue Star would bring our vengeance"

    By the end of the Burning Month, no one has dared to live his home, both in day and night. The warmth was so harsh, that even the darkness didn't gave rest. People were terrified, and even the gods trembled in their thrones- and when the Calibration came, most people were sure that the world was about to end. Everyone watched fearfully, as the Sun set one last time before the start of the Five Days of Darkness.. but he never did. Instead, He shined brightly, stronger then ever, his light relieving a bit from the terrible heat. All were dazzled by the case, when we finally so the new star shining- only it was no longer a star- it was a Blue Sun, beautiful as a shining sapphire- and harsh as sharp sword.

    As the two Suns stood next to each other, the whole Creation has started to burn. Volcanoes erupted in the South. Tsunamis attacked the West. Fire run through the East. Avalanches rolled in the North. Earthquakes threatened to destroy the Center. Prophets fell into fervent dreams, telling prophesies about an ancient debt the world had to pay for the crimes it did. Plagues erupted everywhere, killing hundreds at once. Then, the Blood of the Dragon ran through their empire, commanding everyone to pray for the Sun, making sacrifices to him as he fought against the invading star. For five days the battle kept going and going- some times, it looked as the Sun was winning, shining with his golden light. On others, the new Sun shone brighter, burning everything with blue fire. No one knew what exactly was happening- only that the fate of Creation was on stake, and if the Sun were to fall everything would come to an end.

    Then, without warning, the war has ended.

    Suddenly, the Blue Sun has started to move further and further, and with it the heat has started to go down. All watched at silence as the star left the skies, leaving the golden Sun Unconquered. Yet, just as all were sure that the battle has ended, something happened- the star stopped moving, instead growing brighter and brighter. With the sounds of thousands thunders, and explosion covered the heavens, raining crimson fire fire upon the world- and when the even has finally ended, no one expected to see the star shining again, all are sure it has died by the hands of the greatest of gods.

    But it didn't.

    The star didn't vanished. It simply changed- no longer it was warm and blue. Now, it was blood-red, cruel and angry. Few moments later, it vanished- and not so much time afterward, the Sun has finally set, and it didn't rise again for a whole month.

    After the cosmic event, the sorcerers of the Dragons has summoned Serpent again- they wanted to know what the star was, and if it would return ever again. Serpent simply smiled and said "The Sun won the battle, but lost the fight. She was never here to kill you- she came to watch, to understand. She knew she couldn't win over the Sun, but she needed time in order to bring her true vengeance upon the world. A price must be paid in the same coin it was bought. Those who broke the world were not the gods, but their Chosen- and her Chosen would be the ones to judge you. She diminished herself, but from her ash great things may rise. The Breath of Nemesis moves around you-"

    And then, Orabilis, the End of All Wisdom, came and sent her to be a falling star in Hell's skies.

    Since then, from time to time, it is said that among the world walk people who carry the now Red Sun's light. They bring their own judgement to the world, exacting their own vengeance. Some say they wish to judge the world so when the Star would rise again, she won't have to punish it herself. Some tell they want to bring back their harsh goddess and destroy the corrupted world once and for all, or perhaps that they wish to bring down the Sun and replace it with Nemesis, for under her judgement the world would become only better. Those people, those Chosen, are named after where her judgement is executed- the edge of the world, an impossible place created by the ancient. Cosmos.

    Those people are the Cosmic Exalts, the Chosen of the Red Sun.

    Those people are us.

    Leave a comment:


  • Mr.Jaxus
    replied
    I like both the aforementioned ideas, but I have one alternative about how Nemesis could have known about Exaltation. We know that she was designed encase the UCS got defeated in a situation that the primordials couldn't predict. Nemesis therefore must have the ability to adapt to new and original situations, but unlike Luna's adaption and shapeshifting, Nemesis is about revenge, and will probably pay any price to achieve that. So maybe one of her charms lets her know exactly how to preform any act of revenge or justice that she could do within her power levels. Now if she started her labours in the High First Age and finished the first Cosmic exaltations as the first age ended, the major threat to her plans for Creation would be the Solars, beings who have taken out Primordials in the past, and could most like take on an Incarnae-level goddess if they put their mind to it. So there is only a couple of ways to deal with them, and if the aforementioned charm idea was used, the best way for her to fulfil her plans would be to create Exalts of her own. Anything would be beyond her powers and either require a primordial or the total chaos of the Wyld or both. Therefore, she could easily learn how to produce Exalts.

    Leave a comment:


  • Lioness
    replied
    If you want to run with Nemesis as the Nemesis Star then maybe she gets to enter Creation once an epoch in a cataclysmic event, but is quickly forced to leave because the world simply isn't big enough for her and The Unconquered Sun. Maybe the last time was during the Shogunate, nobody knows what happened then!

    Leave a comment:


  • HaplessWithDice
    replied
    Well those you mentioned were derivative works of the original articles. So yes they share similarities. Creating a race though would be something a God could do by instincts, and nature.

    Though my point was more that Nemesis would need to see and understand exalted before making them. So first having her send spies into the world, examination of a or multiple and gaining insight into how the process works and development of a derivative work should be a part of the narrative.

    Leave a comment:


  • LostLight
    replied
    As it was said, one of the very concepts of Exaltation in 3rd Edition is to make it so it won't feel anymore like am high-class artifact. The devs and writers said again and again that while some Exaltation work like that, not all of them do. Exigence is one such example. Liminal Exaltation is another. Now, the chances are that Nemesis wouldn't have called the act Exaltation- but that was the result: empowering heroic mortals through divine intervention. Her Exaltation works quite differently then Celestial one (for example, it may kill the Chosen during the process) and I've still didn't decided if they reincarnate or not.

    The point is that I don't think that Nemesis acting out of impulse and creating her own Chosen makes the works of Autocthon less miraculous, especially since it is a story that the Cosmics tell to each other. Nemesis is far, far away, shooting meteors of hate upon Creation. No body even known when the first Cosmic was ever Chosen. No one knows how metaphoric the story is, or if Nemesis is even telling the truth. All the Chosen of the Red Sun know that she is a powerful goddess who gives them power for vengeance. Plus, many of the existing races were created by Primordials, not gods- why does spawning a new race of beings out of now where is more logical then enhancing mortals with a semi-fatal process?

    Leave a comment:


  • HaplessWithDice
    replied
    Originally posted by LostLight View Post
    considering that this is going to be in 3rd edition format, I'm going with the new definition of what Exaltation is- meaning "Exaltation is the result of a heroic mortal becoming something greater due to a god's intervention". I believe that the way the Cosmic were created answer that definition.
    Interesting but we know that an exaltation is still a crafted thing. They are still something that a death Lord can capture, and torture, and something that can be held in a prison.

    Even then, Autocthon had to invent the process of doing this, and infusing a mortal with such power. It isn't a natural ability of the Gods. So for someone to do this after having never seen or hearing of it seems insulting to the characters who were involved, and the difficulty of the rebellion.

    Leave a comment:


  • LostLight
    replied
    didn;t thought about searching for a Solar related word! (I've also never heard about thesaurus, so thanks for that). I think that Heliacal sounds like a good option, but I would give it a bit of thought. Choosing a good name is important, after all :P

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  • Lioness
    replied
    I threw Solar into a thesaurus and it gave me Heliacal and Empyreal but yes a lot of words petaining to avenging or justice have been done to death.

    Leave a comment:


  • LostLight
    replied
    yeah, I know- it is a temporary name. I just didn't thought about another which was cool enough "Nemesisian Exalted" sounds kinda ridiculous, and I didn't found a nice word of "avenging" or "justice" to describe them.

    Leave a comment:


  • Lioness
    replied
    Personally I'd think of a better name for them than the Cosmic Exalted. The Cosmos doesn't seem all that relevant to Nemesis aside from the fact that she's trapped there.

    Leave a comment:

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