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  • Originally posted by Lupislacertus View Post
    "I will not let you bribe the storm gods with mechs." me- the storyteller. My girlfriend's mom who plays D&D heard this as her only introduction to exalted.

    there are many things storm gods should have. mechs are not one of them


    now, new session from my end:

    ST: "I have a random encounter table. Be afraid"
    p1: "Do we get to meet the tea house guy again?"

    ST: "Who here can honk [player 2]'s character's horn the best?]

    p2: "I was afraid

    p1: "You can pop my slurry"

    p3: "I'll just be slobbering in my armpit"

    ST: "They are large, greyish and have chimneys for horns"
    p1: "So its [player 2]'s mother?]

    ST: "The vilagers are 1/10th the size of normal people"
    p1: "its going to be difficult to get a tinder date here"
    ST: "Depends on how kinky you are"
    p1: "Little people tinder, natch"

    p1: "I do not abuse children and smurfs"

    ST: "The tiny people agree but still think you're an idiot"

    p1: "I start to touch my self"
    p2: "No you do not"



    Malfeas F'Tagn - go check out my epic MLP/Exalted crossover "The Scroll of Exalted ponies" @ Fimfiction

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    • “Okay, so so far we’ve got the cult warrior, the warrior cultist, the warrior cult evangelist, and the artifact cultist. Did I miss anyone who’s actually said anything about their character yet because I’m seeing a pattern here. 😆”

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      • "The lunar isn't a dirty bomb" explaining a tactic to a fellow player having moral issues with my plan.

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        • P1: "At least three of them has to be a reference to P3's genitals"

          P1: "We've made a new friend without developing a new fetish"

          P2: "I just have a long scrote note, but not a fetish for it, I failed that roll"

          P1: "I rip off my clothes to reveal my leather daddy outfit to the fairfolk lord"
          ST: "The fair folk lord recoils in horror and his head explodes"

          p1: "We need a hole into the underworld, who volunteers to being a serial killer?"

          p2: "I'll throw them out into the wyld"
          ST: "All four and a half thousand?"
          p2: "I'll do it all day"

          p1: "I think its a good idea... except the thing about eating people, unless we turn them into food pills first"



          Malfeas F'Tagn - go check out my epic MLP/Exalted crossover "The Scroll of Exalted ponies" @ Fimfiction

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          • Invisible Horse Princess: I got some good one-liners in this session, which is all I really care about.

            -----------

            Huyla: "Why are you following me? Can't you see the Council is our enemy?"
            Invisible Horse Princess: "Bitch, I can't see anything!"

            ​------------

            Huyla: "If the Emissary still wants to kill me, will you back me up?"
            Invisible Horse Princess: "The Emissary knows better than to make an enemy of me."

            -----------

            ​Invisible Horse Princess: "I'm trying to finish a jigsaw puzzle, but the puzzle pieces are made of a little girl's shredded soul."

            -----------

            Emissary of Nexus: "Lay your hand on this stone and say those words again, please."

            Invisible Horse Princess: "Can I have my hand back now? It was a gift."
            Last edited by TheCountAlucard; 04-11-2021, 06:16 PM.


            He/him

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            • P2: "I use my vuvuzelas to play the people a happy tune, all the while ripping the head off [player 1's character] to prevent him for humming the crazy frog tune"
              ST: "I'll be honest, you stopping him from doing the crazy frog thing almost makes up for using a vuvuzela"


              p3: "We can't make the manse do like in airports, darn"
              st: "Sorry, you can't make the manse grope people like the TSA"
              p1: "We shouldn't limit what liquids people can bring"

              P3: "I have a final solution for the village of mutants... we kill and eat them"
              p1: "no dont, we would have the only brothel that offers sex with five-inch tall tiny people"

              p2: "Who wants to inherit my penis"

              ST: "You lend your pill machine to the machine city. Now you will have to wait with recycling people's pets until you get it back again"




              Malfeas F'Tagn - go check out my epic MLP/Exalted crossover "The Scroll of Exalted ponies" @ Fimfiction

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              • P1: “Illiteracy buddies!”
                P2: “Imagine reading.”
                P1: “They can’t.”
                P3: “Oh shoot... That requires a dot of Lingistics now doesn't it...”
                P1: “ILLITERACY BUDDIES”
                P4: “What's the point of having a smart cousin if you have to learn to read anyway?”

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