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  • Wise Old Guru
    started a topic The Out-of-Context Game Quotes Thread

    The Out-of-Context Game Quotes Thread

    My friends and I have taken to writing down things that get said in game, for later amusement. Out of context game quotes are often delighful, at least to me. Rules of this thread: no context. If you have to explain that you were all in the middle of storming the Mask of Winters' palace and there was a love triangle between three PCs and someone made a hilariously topical remark...I don't wanna hear it. I mean, I want to hear the remark. But not, y'know, the context. Also, it has to be something a player or a GM actually said in a game of Exalted (or typed, I guess), no one-author fiction pieces allowed. So here goes:

    1. "That's why I have the good kind of 'you never existed' magic." -PC

    2. "We need to get some pigs for this hangover cure." -PC

    3. "Why are you both carrying...meat...together." - PC

    4. "I have a magical talking crotch." -PC

    5. "He is to priests what Billy Bob Thornton is to Santas." -One of my favorite STs.

    6. "Making strange pounding and buzzing noises with his cheeks, Resplendent Beats stands on his hands and spins on his head, his orichalcum boots flashing faster and faster until they form a blazing circle, shaping the symbol of the Unconquered Sun." -Another of my favorite STs

    7. "Again?! What do you have against trees, anyway?" -PC

  • Dietaku
    replied
    “Rakis attempts socializing...”
    “Oh dear, there's going to be no survivors.”


    “He's learning, guys. He'll learn what love is soon enough. He needs to learn about bromance first.”


    “So, that's how I learned hammers are for more than just carpentry.”
    “I swear to gods, Kharas, enough with your stories!”


    “Oh, great and merciful Golden Lord, I beseech you--”
    'YO, WHERE ALL DA MURDERERS BE?”
    “New phone, who 'dis?”


    “Gimme some shawarma”
    “Sorry, Son, I'm happily married.”


    “What do you take as currency?”
    “Mmmmm. The usual....”


    “You can if you use the secret command word?”
    “...Slut?”
    “No.”


    “I was just being cheeky, not an asshole.”
    “It's kinda hard to tell sometimes.”

    Leave a comment:


  • webkilla
    replied
    p2: "I need a charm that works as a counter that keeps track of how long its been since I've touched p3's character's butt"


    p2: "so... its mind-probe time?"
    p1: "You do you"
    p3: "Penetrate him"

    p2: "I rewrite the ghosts's mind to have positive intimacies towards us, towards needles, towards BDSM

    st: "Ok, you slurry the ghost in the face..."
    p3: *grunts creepily*
    st: "honestly, I'm not even surprised at this point"

    p2: "I make pocket-ectoplasm"
    p2: "uhm... guys, are we the baddies?"
    p1: "there's no allignment system in this game"
    p2: "Great, all I needed to hear"

    P2: "What's the fetish I should implant in the next ghost we capture? Feet? hands?"
    Everyone: "No!"


    Leave a comment:


  • Clophiroth
    replied
    Originally posted by Dietaku View Post


    You better believe my group adds JoJo references. The real one my group does more, though, is Fist of the North Star references.

    My games are long, elaborate excuses to reference DIamond is Unbreakable :P

    Unfortunately, only one of my players get them

    What we constantly do are Simpsons´ references. We even instituted the rule that you only have the right to a single Simpsons´ reference by game.

    Leave a comment:


  • Dietaku
    replied
    Originally posted by Clophiroth View Post

    I´m not the only one who use my games to insert JoJoreferences, it seems

    You better believe my group adds JoJo references. The real one my group does more, though, is Fist of the North Star references.

    Leave a comment:


  • Clophiroth
    replied
    Originally posted by Dietaku View Post


    “Anys Syn, Stand User.”
    I´m not the only one who use my games to insert JoJoreferences, it seems

    Leave a comment:


  • Dietaku
    replied
    “Yeah, I think Rakis was still flying high on “I just ate a chocolate dude and now I have magic eyes.””


    “We were just....pyramid sliding. For fun.”
    “Yes, but you should be back in Chiaroscuro, where there's a much better pyramid sliding scene.”


    “I'm not strange, I'm Kharas.”


    We got Rakis on the drums! (Yeah yeah yeah)
    Kharas on the Keys (Oh oh my)
    Doran's got some bass (Oh ho wow)
    And then Albin with the solo (so high? so low)


    “Unlike you, I don't just murder people, Rakis. I only murder people when they pay me.”


    “Anys Syn, Stand User.”


    "Oh, I'm Kharas, a model Warden of Gaia! I love Mother Nature, and anal sex!"
    "Stop kink-shaming me."


    “The Sun explodes and then promptly runs away.”


    /Inner Albin/ Guild Rule #38: Death to those who make lame excuses about other guild rules. /Inner Albin/

    “So long as the slaves are free-range and organic...”

    Leave a comment:


  • Sith_Happens
    replied
    "Lucky for us, [Day]'s kneejerk reaction to diplomacy is stabbing."

    "Victory through loaded dice, as is Sidereal tradition!"

    "Oh wait hmm I was planning out a cool response to the Queen and then I remembered I still can't understand a word she's saying. Really need to buy that language dot at some point."

    "Reveals of [Day]'s emotional state and unreliable narratorness are worth stunt points."

    ST: "[Dawn]'s strike goes through, but..."
    Player: "...but the queen somehow pulls +7 Parry out of somewhere?"
    Virtuous Guardian of Flame: *appears*
    Player: "So I was almost right."

    Leave a comment:


  • webkilla
    replied
    P1: "I want to snap off his fingers and stuff bit by bit, feed him to the hungry ghosts"
    P2: "Why not just toss him to the ghosts and be done with it?"
    P1: "I'm feeling communistic - I want to share equally"

    p2: "When we make our brothel, can we have part of it in the underworld so we can bang ghosts?"

    p3: "I would grab him by the junk, but that's too small a target"

    Leave a comment:


  • Sasha
    replied
    "...I guess you can just go home?" Princess says uncertainly, looking at the others for confirmation. "Unless you feel like meeting a goddess of craftsmanship." She tilts her head in consideration. "And maybe dangling her from a rooftop."

    Leave a comment:


  • Kyman201
    replied
    "I'm not going to question why you have a specialty in 'When Tied Up'."

    Leave a comment:


  • Simon Darkstep
    replied
    Not exactly a quote, but we joked about dropped dice being Limit rolls. We'd never - not - be in Limit Break.

    Leave a comment:


  • webkilla
    replied
    P1: "We can send him to the incest-frog!"

    ST: "She's only into the undead"
    P1: "I can disguise myself as a zombie"
    ST: "but that means you can't get an erection"
    P1: "Fuck"

    ST: "Wait... that would make you an invisible ninja who can make it look like other people are farting"

    P1: "We need to agree on what style of catgirl for domestic ownership we need to make. Paws, yes or no?"
    p2: "Depends on what the lunar says"
    p1: "We just need tail and ears... yes!"

    p2: "They have one boob, instead of two"

    p3: "As long as its a mortal, then they might not get a choice - we'll chose for him... with mind-control"

    p1: "When you get the charm that lets you customize your anima, then I'll let you make it into wings of dicks"

    p1: "I get sand in my va-... no wait, I'm not a woman right now"

    p3: "If he sleeps he can't say no"
    p1: "then we rape him"
    p3: "I didn't specify what he wouldn't be able to say no to"
    Last edited by webkilla; 08-18-2019, 06:53 PM.

    Leave a comment:


  • TheCountAlucard
    replied
    Hearing the almost unintelligible voice of Christian Bale, [IHP] realizes that [Knight Raiton] has arrived at the scene of the crime and has her steed quicken his pace.
    This should be fun!

    -----------

    Knight Raiton: (rolls 15 successes on a Case Scene roll)

    Knight Raiton's Player: "I think I solved the case."

    ​-----------

    Lyse: "And who the hell are supposed to be? An actor who lost their stage?"

    IHP: (Appearing behind Lyse) "Nah, that's just Knight Raiton. Sup, KR?"

    Lyse: "Oh, good, another one."

    ------------

    Lyse: "Odder than someone claiming themselves to be a wanted murderer at a crime scene."

    IHP: "I don't claim to be a wanted murderer. I'm a murderer regardless of whether it's wanted or not."

    -------------

    Lyse: (to the rabbit) "Head on home, I'll be there soon."

    -------------

    Lyse's Player: "Apparently KR wants me to build a Scooby Doo level of trap."

    IHP's Player: "Can you not do that? ...what's the point of being a Lunar crafter?"

    --------------

    Lyse: "And what manner of bait would you use? I doubt a person of desirable position would willing agree to 'stand on big X and wait to die.'"

    IHP: "I'll do it. I wasn't busy tonight anyway."

    --------------

    KR's Player: "Knight Raiton is not one to simply hide bodies."

    Knight Raiton: "This is how we get hungry ghosts!"

    ​---------------

    KR's Player: "The Council of Entities has, of course, labeled the theory as a thought-crime."

    IHP: "The nerdiest kind of crime there is."

    --------------

    And, just to show that it's not all silliness with IHP, here's her three-point stunt from the session...

    Princess sits in her quarters in the Temple of Gaia, eyes closed and jaw set as she concentrates on the task before her. She lifts her hand, bringing with it the strands of living shadow-stuff she clipped from her trusty familiar's mane.
    The material is not shadow, not entirely at least. One cannot feel shadow as one feels Shadowmane's hair, but what other substance so completely lacks color, merely darkening that which is on the other side of it? None that Princess has ever heard of, despite extensive research and firsthand experience with the denizens of the Underworld and other spirits.
    Though she cannot count on being able to follow in the footsteps of others to accomplish her task, there is something the Invisible Horse Princess has that no other could hope to replicate: her connection to Shadowmane. Since the day she was Chosen her friend has been by her side. They have been through countless battles, shared happiness and sadness both, and not once forsaken each other.
    Shadowmane is her companion, in the truest sense of the word.
    Princess uses this bond now as she imposes her will on the shadow-stuff she holds before her. Sorcerous Essence flows through her body and focuses in her outstretched hand, but more than that, emotion, raw and powerful, courses through her very soul. It is with an effort of great will that she pushes this emotion out through her fingertips and into the shadow-stuff.
    A connection is formed. Princess is always able to feel her connection to Shadowmane, but once separated from him, she felt no such connection to it. But the sample she holds in her hand is different now. She can feel it with her soul.
    Princess flexes her fingers slightly and allows herself a triumphant grin as the shadow-stuff twists and shapes itself to her will...
    Last edited by TheCountAlucard; 08-12-2019, 03:14 AM.

    Leave a comment:


  • Sasha
    replied
    Lyse of the Chisel and Hammer: "And what manner of trap would you have me build?"
    Invisible Horse Princess: "I've always been partial to giant boulders and pitfalls with spikes at the bottom myself."
    Lyse: "You'd have to supply the boulders."
    IHP: "I've got a good boulder guy."

    Leave a comment:

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