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The Out-of-Context Game Quotes Thread

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  • Wise Old Guru
    started a topic The Out-of-Context Game Quotes Thread

    The Out-of-Context Game Quotes Thread

    My friends and I have taken to writing down things that get said in game, for later amusement. Out of context game quotes are often delighful, at least to me. Rules of this thread: no context. If you have to explain that you were all in the middle of storming the Mask of Winters' palace and there was a love triangle between three PCs and someone made a hilariously topical remark...I don't wanna hear it. I mean, I want to hear the remark. But not, y'know, the context. Also, it has to be something a player or a GM actually said in a game of Exalted (or typed, I guess), no one-author fiction pieces allowed. So here goes:

    1. "That's why I have the good kind of 'you never existed' magic." -PC

    2. "We need to get some pigs for this hangover cure." -PC

    3. "Why are you both carrying...meat...together." - PC

    4. "I have a magical talking crotch." -PC

    5. "He is to priests what Billy Bob Thornton is to Santas." -One of my favorite STs.

    6. "Making strange pounding and buzzing noises with his cheeks, Resplendent Beats stands on his hands and spins on his head, his orichalcum boots flashing faster and faster until they form a blazing circle, shaping the symbol of the Unconquered Sun." -Another of my favorite STs

    7. "Again?! What do you have against trees, anyway?" -PC

  • Lioness
    Mind starting another topic and linking back to this one? I don't know what's making the forum keep grinding to a halt.

    Leave a comment:

  • webkilla
    ST: "You drop off your uncut gems"
    P1: "Can I drop off my family jewels as well?"
    ST: "I'm too sober for this"

    p2: "Yes I'm ready to go, but I had hoped we wouldn't have to bring [p3's character] along"
    p3: "But I have drugs"
    p2: "You're in"

    p2: "How about depression-inducing happy pills?"

    p1: "So we can use it kidnap children!"
    p4: "Hold up, that charm doesn't allow storing living things"
    ST: "Come on people, submodules!"
    p1: "Hey now that we've broached the topic, we can kidnap people for the brothel!"

    p1: "I'm a saint"
    st: "No you're not"
    p1: "I am pure and innocent"
    p2: "just no"

    ST: "What shadowland do you chose to enter the underworld via?"
    P1: "Can't we just make our own?"
    p2: "Hold up"

    ST: "Do you lot even know what you're looking for?"
    p1: "We'll know it when I lick it"
    ST: "You don't even know the right magical martial art for that to make sense... and the rest of you lot do not want him to learn that"

    P3: "Monstrance of celestial portion, sounds like a sextoy"

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  • HalfTangible
    P1: “Oh are their bodies at the bottom of the balcony? Like they jumped?”
    NPC1: (snarking): “Wow I can’t believe nobody thought of that.”


    Me: “Wait. You left P1 and P2 ALONE to plan a wedding?!
    P3: “We are not going to listen to any plan they come up with, so yes, I left them alone to plan their fake wedding that ISN’T GONNA HAPPEN.”
    Me: “Sure, WE know not to listen to them but they're still dynasts! Do you think the rest of the city is gonna ignore them?”
    P3: “Yes.”
    Meanwhile, downstairs...

    P1: "Now the first dance is incredibly important... No, put your hand on my ass."

    P2: “Should I put my hand on her ass?” P1: “Only if you’re [My character].”
    P2: “Then no?”
    P1: “Well… actually it might be a good idea to do it in front of her father, ‘stake that claim’.”


    P1: “Fake wedding?”
    Me: “Only if there’s a fake honeymoon.”
    P3 took a swig of wine straight from the bottle.
    P1: “Is it a fake honeymoon if you’re already on vacation?”
    Me: “... You’re not technically wrong but I still wanna punch you.”


    P3: "Does anyone besides me know the Black Crane technique in this city?"
    NPC2: "No. Why?"
    P3: "Because the Anathema knows the style. Which means I'm the only suspect."
    NPC2: "Oh. Well, we just won't tell them, then."

    P3: “I’ve already told them. If they discovered it on their own, it’d be a reason to suspect me, but since I told them willingly it’s not a major concern.”
    NPC2: “... And you made that decision on your own.
    P3: “Yes.”
    NPC2: “*twitch* I SEE.”

    Leave a comment:

  • webkilla
    P1: We can get her attention if I bite her foot off
    p2: I was thinking we could just say hi and wave an apple at her
    p1: We could throw something at her?

    p3: "You're assuming i'm organized. I just have lots of fruit"

    ST: he might have Int 3
    p3: he's not using it
    p1: I'm just bringing a gift for a host
    p2: you are manhandling one of the king's own soldiers

    p2: I'm not done eating my ice-cream. I deploy my sheild above me.
    p3: I join him, eating ice-cream

    p1: we can be the richest pimps in the south
    ST: Fruit pimps?

    Leave a comment:

  • webkilla
    ST: So, can you lot remember what you had planned to do from last session?
    P1: We were going to give [P2's character] a prince albert piercing

    ST: "If you get a charm that gives you an expanding butthole, you can combo that"
    P2: hell of a prison pocket
    p1: like a snake opening its mouth wide open
    st: you can't unhinge your butt
    p2: with practice you can

    p3: "I dont think I'm that austistic right now, I'm only at a 5 - I'm usually at a 7 or 8" (clarity reference)

    p2: not all fights are done with your fists. If you just stand on the mountain and pee on it, you can claim victory over it

    st: you dont want to bathe in liquid glass? why not
    p2: it looks painful
    p1: YOLO!
    Last edited by webkilla; 07-01-2021, 01:48 PM.

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  • Synapse
    "I try to cook and eat this steel mutton"

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  • webkilla
    P1: "I grab one zombie and jam up the rear of the next zombie"

    P1: "i pull the leg off a dead zombie and go over and turn the other zombie into a unicorn. Its creative meat-butchery"
    st: "Somewhere in yu-shan the god of arts and crafts weeps"

    ST: "The ghost turns to you and says 'harder daddy' in response to your clinch"

    P1: "Am I clean now?"
    St: "In body, yes, in soul, not a chance
    P1: "I go out and roll in the mud"

    ST: "YOu could send P2's character's GF a letter telling her wehre to find P2's character"
    p3: "Nah that would be too evil"

    Leave a comment:

  • webkilla
    ST:"...or you could spend your downtime burning some xp?"
    P1: "burn things? Why sure"

    p2: "What is the age of concent in the underworld?"
    p3: "Terribly sorry. I'll get right on that"

    ST: "Are the rest of you going to do anything, or will you wait for [p2's character] to do something stupid?"

    p3: "I give [p2's character] my sword - he's my champion, go fight!"
    p2: "I give [p3's character] his sword back, and backhim for his cowardice"
    p3: "oww"

    p3: "I intimidate the ghost with threats of body tequila"

    p3: "Killing zombies is boring, its a chore"
    ST: "Is that because they dont feel pain?"

    Leave a comment:

  • webkilla
    P1: "I will wait with saying mango"
    p2: "Hold off until I can kill you safely without hurting myself"

    p3: "that's gotta earn us some piety points... should make up for us eating that dog"
    p1: "technically we didn't eat it... we fed it to its former owners"

    p1: "Hi gropy-doctor"

    p3: "Show me on the doll where the mango touched you"

    p2: "You've made me shit myself at least fifteen times in the last few days - If you go to the fruit market, I will end you"

    p3: "We throw him back into the elevator"
    ST: "The last you see of him is the woman's hungry eyes on him as the elevator door closes..."

    p2: "I take off my jaw, throw the mango back at him, then leave"
    st: "Do you leave with your jaw off?"
    p2: "No, I put it back on, I'm not uncivilized"

    p3: "I recognized that it was you who got prostituted, not us"

    Leave a comment:

  • HalfTangible
    Been having a lot of fun with my new group. Not in any particular order:


    P1: "I betcha he's not kidnapped. He just wanted to go out and have an adventure."
    P2: "What, seriously? The guy's caravan was attacked and his bodyguards slaughtered, you think he's just off seeing the sights?"
    P1: "Sure! I'd love to be kidnapped! It'd be a new experience for me!"


    (during a duel)
    P2: "As I go past, I make kissy noises in her ear, taunting her to hit anima flux and lose the duel."
    Everyone: "..."
    P3: "I unleash the full fury of the tides on P2. (stunted MA attack, full excellency, 11sux on the attack, does enough damage to Crash)"
    P2: "Right before it hits, I say 'I've made a terrible mistake.'"


    (P2 missed a session and was having events recapped)
    P1: "-and I shoved an egg into her mouth."
    P2: "What."
    P1: "Missing blood means missing liquid and protein. You know what is liquid and protein? Egg. Nothing but pure homespun wisdom."


    ST: "You can tell the bandit leader and the kidnapped noble have a major intimacy for each other, and it is love."
    P2: "....... I can't fucking believe P1 was right."

    Leave a comment:

  • webkilla
    P1: "We must treat Plentimon like a waifu"
    St: ", make a bodypillow in plentimon's image and abuse that in unspeakable ways?"
    P1: "That's the spirit!"

    P2: "I recall my training about precisely flying my beetle into the testicles of that vengeful god we fought earlier"

    P2: "What is a compas?"
    P1: "Can you eat it?"

    P1: "I shall only pee on where the pee comes out"

    ST: "Do you open the letter?"
    P3: "I want to eat it, then we can just guess what was inside"
    p1: "If there's glitter inside, we'll feed it to you"

    p2: "Since i'm doing a Ginyu-pose, then him attacking me like that is slightly gay"

    p1: "Am I the only one trained in giving BJs? Come guys, that's weak"
    p2: "I'm strung up on the ceiling, dripping on you..."
    p3: "You are such a disapointment"

    p3: "If you say the brown word, you get the brown mustache"
    p2: "I'll just eat it"
    p3: "A new fetish?"

    Leave a comment:

  • webkilla
    P1: "I have a large penis, I crave horse"

    St: "Just imagine smelling a mix of blood and crocodile shit"

    Leave a comment:

  • webkilla
    P1: "We're underage, the sidereals can't hold us on anything"
    P2: "True... none of us are more than a year and a half old... does Yu-Shan have a minimum age of criminal responsibility?"
    ST: "Depends on how much you piss them off"
    P1: "we sacrifice [player 3's character]'s balls to appease the gods"
    p2: "so long as you don't rape him"
    p1: "It wasn't rape"
    p2: "You spiked the air around you"
    p1: "I'm underage, can't be found guilty"

    p2: "The dragon looks like he skipped leg day"

    p1: "I always dreamt of giving her the rod"

    p2: "Do you need a penis?"
    p3: "I thought I had one?"
    p2: "Do you need a second one?"

    p1: "Don't lewd the loli"
    p4: "It would socially acceptable to punch the shit out of anyone who does that"

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  • Synapse
    It's just a kidney, it'll grow back.

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