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  • Stupidest Things

    So tonight at a saki bar I was attacked by a pair of Sabbath cardinals and I (an NPC) staked them with a pair of chop sticks.

    Anyway....

    What is the stupidest thing to happen to your characters? Maybe it was bad planning, or maybe good planning but a bad roll. Something stupid happened. Tell us about it.

  • #2
    Brujah elder using flick and a box of toothpicks staked an entire elysium of vampires in one celerity round.


    You've been playing around the magic that is black
    But all the powerful magical mysteries never gave a single thing back

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    • #3
      My scientist Malkavian and his coterie got entangled in a plot involving the ST's fifth-generation Brujah demon-slayer STPC with Thaumaturgy and that knighthood Path and Obeah and Golconda and Akashic martial arts and a daiklave, and the fourth-generation xenomorph-looking Baali Methuselah antagonist. Real "fate of the world" kinda stuff.

      ​Then I told the STPC, "I have zero dots in any combat skills, and my highest-rated Discipline is a four. Last month the highest priority on our to-do list was picking good candidates for ghouling. Go do your thing, we're gonna find some more suitable activities. Good luck, though."

      And then we left him to presumably prevent the apocalypse, and went back to worrying about what was going to be said at the Prince's upcoming meeting.

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      • #4
        I once botched a Firearms roll, ultimately resulting in the pistol catastrophicly misfiring and the slide hitting my character in the forehead knocking him unconscious.

        But still not as bad as an Armegeddon rpg playtest where my character went to take a shower only to have a bunch of badguys burst into the safehouse, requiring my character to fight them naked with only a sledge hammer.


        What is tolerance? It is the consequence of humanity. We are all formed of frailty and error; let us pardon reciprocally each other's folly. That is the first law of nature.
        Voltaire, "Tolerance" (1764)

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        • #5
          Originally posted by No One of Consequence View Post
          But still not as bad as an Armegeddon rpg playtest where my character went to take a shower only to have a bunch of badguys burst into the safehouse, requiring my character to fight them naked with only a sledge hammer.
          Reminds me of ​The Once and Future King​, where Mordred and twelve other knights try and attack Lancelot du Lac while he's in his bedclothes with the Queen, and his only weapon initially is a stool.

          ​(Of the attackers, only Mordred survived, with his arm broken.)

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          • #6
            In one of the first VtM game sessions I played in, we found ourselves facing off against a werewolf and my character used Thaumaturgy to enhance her generation and boost her physical stats enough to make a fight of it. I hadn't reckoned on the consequences of quickly emptying her blood pool, and failed a frenzy roll. On the plus side, we found out crinos form is not well designed for dislodging a small figure with superhuman strength from the middle of one's back. Cue lots of thrashing around, howling, shrieking, and one of the other characters yelling "unhand that defenseless child!" at a panicky werewolf as it was being drained dry.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by No One of Consequence View Post
              ...requiring my character to fight them naked with only a sledge hammer.
              (wiggles eyebrows)

              Anyway, there was that one time my character got shot, slid off a roof, landed in a street and then got run over. The fact the character died makes me feel like I was robbed.

              Also, this thread is open to all the splats. Lets hear the stupid stories from werewolves, mages, wraiths, and so on.

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              • #8
                The one and only time I've played a Malkavian we decided to test a "derangement" concept which was basically that the mind couldn't hold onto one set of nature and demeanour for more than a single night. Start of every night, ST would roll for nature and demeanour and that's what my character would be bound to for the night.

                A series of bad rolls and me wanting to play as faithfully to them as possible led to my character starting at humanity 7 and hitting humanity 0 by halfway through the second session.

                Good times, good times...

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