What do you do when the ST likes another player that way?

[Guest]

And as a result favors them over everyone else.

Assume you yourself don’t like the ST that way and aren’t willing to flirt with them to try and get special treatment for your character too

[Dwight]

Tell them it makes you feel uncomfortable and they should stop. Being an st isn't a license to creep in roleplay

[Guest]

Thank you.

[Guest]

Update: when I wrote this I was thinking of a time when the ST very obviously liked another player to the detriment of the other players (including me) but tbh the other scenario where the ST likes me and is kind of being creepy about it has happened to me too (same ST actually) so you guys can respond to either. Thanks.

[Heavy Arms]

I don't think the response changes; though make sure you're in a safe environment if you perceive yourself as a target of inappropriate behavior (lack of good social boundaries is rarely isolated to one aspect of life).

The fact that it's happening as part of a RPG session is, ideally, irrelevant. If someone is doing something that makes you uncomfortable and ruining your time, you should be able to express that to them. RPGs do create a contextual set of complications, but it's impossible to generalize on.

Remember an important adage: No RP is better than bad RP. No game is worth subjecting yourself to a creeper (directly or indirectly).

[Guest]

I don't think the response changes; though make sure you're in a safe environment if you perceive yourself as a target of inappropriate behavior (lack of good social boundaries is rarely isolated to one aspect of life).

The fact that it's happening as part of a RPG session is, ideally, irrelevant. If someone is doing something that makes you uncomfortable and ruining your time, you should be able to express that to them. RPGs do create a contextual set of complications, but it's impossible to generalize on.

Remember an important adage: No RP is better than bad RP. No game is worth subjecting yourself to a creeper (directly or indirectly).

Thank you so much

[Matt the Bruins fan]

I've been in that situation once, and resolved that it wasn't the game for me. Not that I felt that I was being mistreated as a player, but the GM made some really uncharacteristic tonal shifts to keep his girlfriend interested/engaged that made the game something other than what I signed on for.

I should add that my long term gaming group of friends after college included three couples, and one person playing in a game run by their spouse never resulted in any problems with that group.

[Guest]

I've been in that situation once, and resolved that it wasn't the game for me. Not that I felt that I was being mistreated as a player, but the GM made some really uncharacteristic tonal shifts to keep his girlfriend interested/engaged that made the game something other than what I signed on for.

I should add that my long term gaming group of friends after college included three couples, and one person playing in a game run by their spouse never resulted in any problems with that group.

I know. I never had any problems with anyone other than this person (and the person he liked; tbh she kind of encouraged it, at least at first). Thank you for your advice.

[Black Fox]

I've been in many games where the GM had obvious favorites. It doesn't have to be a scenario where flirtation, romance, or sexual interest is involved. They just had a friend that they favored over others for whatever reason. I've also seen the situation where the GM favors their partner/spouse over others. Sometimes it's not because they want to, but they don't want to put up with the hassle of complaints and having it negatively impact their relationship.

So I think there's two issues that may be involved.

GM is playing favorites (and it's not you). What do you do? If you feel comfortable doing so, first approach it politely with the GM, preferably in private not in front of others. That may or may not change the situation. If it doesn't, you need to decide whether this is something that bothers you enough that you want to leave the game. Some times, you may want to decide to remain in the game because it's still fun enough. In high school, I had a buddy GM games and he obviously had favorites. It annoyed me. But at the time I decided to accept it simply because he was a good friend; I liked playing with my other friends in the group; and I was still having fun. (I didn't justify it that it was OK. I knew it was "wrong", but many things in life are not optimal or unfair.) When that dynamic changed that I had better things to do, I just stopped attending his games going forward.

The other issue is if you are uncomfortable because you feel you are being harassed, or have the expectation to indulge some creep's sexual interest just to play, or be treated like the other players. That crosses the line in a different area. Only you will know whether it's something that can be addressed by speaking in private to that person, or if talking to the person is futile. In which case you leave (and possibly explain your reasons to your friends in the group so they know why you left).

Simply put - if you find yourself in an intolerable situation (as you define it, not others), remove yourself from that situation. If you think there's a chance it'll work, speak out first to see if the situation will change.

Sometimes a person just wants to "reality check" a scenario to make sure they aren't the one being unreasonable. That may be the reason you posted. In this case, I don't think that's the case for you.

[Guest]

Black Fox thank you so much

[Wiwuno]

So I have my own insider perspective on this matter. As an ST for a group that includes my Fiancee I can admit that my relationship with them makes it much easier to want to say yes and go along with what they want. I put in the active effort to avoid favoring anything they want over the other players. If one of my players ever felt like i was favoring my fiancee over the others or our behavior toward one another made them uncomfortable i would want very much to be made aware especially considering I don't always realize everything I'm doing. Our relationship is obviously reciprocative so there is no "Creepy ST being uncomfortable to a player" layer but I hope this perspective helps.

[Guest]

That’s really helpful. At first it seemed like she was enjoying the special attention, then when she realized it came with strings attached she started getting more uncomfortable. (At least that’s what she told her friend who told me.)

Anyway, I totally understand that if you’re an ST you want your bf or gf to have a good time and maybe you do a little extra for them, but this was like blatant favoritism. Also, this happened a while ago and we don’t play with that ST anymore. I just wondered if there was anything I could’ve or should’ve done at the time that I didn’t do.

Thank you for your perspective. I really appreciate it.