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Board Issues: How to Resolve or When to Leave

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  • Board Issues: How to Resolve or When to Leave

    One more question: If you are having issues with a board you are on (could be issues with another player or players or how the STs run things or whatever), how do you go about resolving it in a nonconfrontational way vs. when is it time to call it quits? And how do you know if you as a player are contributing to the problems or not? I've been on a board for a good while now and it has been nothing but one frustration or issue after another, spiced by a really good cadre of players/writers. I can't really go into so much detail about the issues publicly since I don't want to identify the board, but I'm very frustrated as a player and wanted to ask for your input. Thank you in advance.

  • #2
    Not every group is a good fit for every player (and vice versa). Unfortunately, sometimes that's just the way it goes. If I'm in a group that has a particularly bothersome issue, I ask myself if I'm still having fun. Is it still worth setting the time aside for, making the drive for, etc? Or am I just sticking around because I've put in so much energy? For me, it's not a common occurrence. On one end, you should try to be flexible and understanding that not everyone's play-style is going to match your ideal; however, just because it's not your ideal, that doesn't mean you can't have fun. Say you don't find another game. Would you rather play the one you're in, or would you rather play nothing at all? Sometimes that's a question you really need to ask yourself.

    I recommend giving yourself a time frame (around a table may be a couple sessions, while on a board may be a week or so, depending on frequency of play). In that period of time, really make it a point to approach the game with the attitude that, regardless what happens, you're just going to roll with it and see how it turns out. If at the end of that time, you're still thinking, "Eh, screw this," then maybe leave. However, it may end up shaking you out of the funk you're in, and you may find you enjoy the game for reasons you previously hadn't really thought of (despite it being different than what you originally wanted).

    If you are having trouble with a specific player, that's a tough one. If the player is disruptive to the game as a whole, or if the player is breaking rules, etc., then perhaps ask a mod/the ST/whatever if that is indeed a problem or if it's just the way the game goes.

    However, from a couple of your posts, it sounds like you have a pretty rigid approach to gaming. As I mentioned above, I'd try relaxing your expectations a bit and seeing if you enjoy the game more. True rigidity only works in solo projects (like writing your own stories). RPGs require a good deal of flexibility. You're a part of an interactive story, so things are never going to really go exactly how you want them to. Remember, unlike some other games, the goal here (typically) is not to win or be the best or whatever else. The goal is to have fun. If you're not having fun, re-evaluate.

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    • #3
      Originally posted by Ruadhan View Post
      If you are having issues with a board you are on (could be issues with another player or players or how the STs run things or whatever), how do you go about resolving it in a nonconfrontational way vs. when is it time to call it quits?
      When I need to handle things without going full aggro, I usually just bring my concerns to the storyteller or the player I'm having conflict with first to look for a resolution or compromise. If that doesn't work, I bring my concerns to the group as a whole. If that also doesn't work? If the issue is one I can work past, then I work past it. If not, I politely excuse myself from the group.

      Originally posted by Ruadhan View Post
      And how do you know if you as a player are contributing to the problems or not?
      That's the trickier bit. It's hard to be self-aware enough to objectively say whether or not you are causing the issue, as opposed to someone else. For myself, I'll explain the issue to a third party uninvolved in the situation and get their take on it. Even then, you have to accept that this third party is only hearing your own biases, so I try to keep things as factual as possible to minimize the amount of bias involved.

      But in the end, if you're at the point where you're invoking a third party? It's probably time to step away anyway. As Wakuwa said, the game is there for funs. If you aren't having fun, you're "doing it wrong", or for the wrong reasons. Step back, re-evaluate and re-assess.


      Writing up Clanbook: Aabbt

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