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  • Handbook for the Recently Deceased

    Please post your errata for the Handbook for the Recently Deceased below.

    This is for errata only. This is not a discussion thread. Please take discussion elsewhere. This thread is for typos, incorrect math, visual glitches, and the like. Thank you.


    Ian A. A. Watson
    Onyx Path Community Manager

  • #2
    p. 9 "Encounters with Spectres are likely to be rare, but your character’s relative limitations may mean trying to keep Fetters safe stretches your character’s limits and ingenuity."

    Run-on sentence. Break it into two sentences? Something like:

    "Encounters with Spectres are likely to be rare, but your character’s relative limitations may mean trying to keep Fetters safe. However, this would stretch your character’s limits and ingenuity."

    Comment


    • #3
      P. 20 “If Storytellers choose this route, they should not let the Shadowguide know how bullets they’ve got;...”.
      Change to “If Storytellers choose this route, they should not let the Shadowguide know how many bullets they’ve got;...”

      Comment


      • #4
        Okay, some of the below is pedantic, but I kind of mark where that is. Great book, mind you!

        p 5, third para, “from the first moments; how it starts” would be better with a colon “first moments: how it starts”
        p 5, last para, “among the Quick and the Dead” should have lower case “dead”
        p 7, first para (under the sidebar), “deceptively simple: die with unfinished” should be capitalized after colon “simple: Die” since it’s a full sentence…
        p 7, third para, “that seem random, but that inevitably turn out” would be better as “random, but these inevitably”
        p 8, last para, “about so much that they held them back after they” is a mess with the same they/them referring to the fetters AND the character… Better: “that they held her back after she”
        p 10, third full para, “Alternately, shared Fetters” should be “Alternatively”
        p 12, first para, “A good way to gut check is this: if you can” needs work on both sides of the colon… Better: “A good way to gut check this is: If you can”
        p 12, second para, “Alternately, you can protect” should be “Alternatively”
        p 13, last para, “rages between the Skinlands and the deeper Underworld” should be “Shadowlands and deeper Underworld” I believe…
        p 14, fifth para, in the sentence “There are three main factions in Stygia – the Hierarchy, the Renegades and the Heretics – and there are pros and cons…” you use the wrong DASH (pedantic, I know, and I would NOT have noticed if there weren’t the correct DASHES in the next paragraph)
        …same, an Oxford comma could be added, making it “the Renegades, and the Heretics”
        p 15, first para, “self-help organizations, or simply want to exist” needs a subject after the comma, better as “organizations, or they simply want to exist”
        p 16, first para, “a second character, one diametrically opposed to another player’s character, can seem” would be better with dashes than commas, “second character – one diametrically opposed to another player’s character – can seem”
        p 16, first para, “dark side: how much is too much, what works and what doesn’t, and so on.” is clunky… Maybe better with “dark side: questions of how much…”
        p 16, third para, “What this does not mean…” would be stronger with italics “does not mean”
        p 16, third para, “what the Shadow actually wants,” would (similar to above” be stronger with italics “actually wants”
        p 16, fourth para, “a long way towards making” should be “toward”
        p 17, first para, “a long way towards simplifying” should be “toward”
        p 18, fourth full para, “story of a Shadow finding their voice” should be “its voice” to match much of the rest of the manuscript
        p 19, first full para (under the sidebar), “Then again, Psyche-Shadow is liable” would be better as “Psyche/Shadow” to denote a relationship of this sort
        p 19, second full para (under the sidebar), “Shadow discovers their newfound powers” should be “its newfound powers”
        p 20, first para, “Instead, they know what they want to do, and they’ll be surprised” should be “it knows what it wants to do, and it’ll be” to match pronoun with the rest of the section
        p 20, last para, “Shadowguide know how bullets” is missing a word… Better “know how many bullets”
        p 21, first para (under the sidebar), “Psyche has no idea what its Shadow is actually offering” would be better as “what his Shadow” or “what her Shadow” to match the rest of the section
        p 22, second para, “act in accord with their Dark Passions” would be better as “its Dark Passions”
        p 22, third para, “talk the Psyche into agreeing with them” would be better as “agreeing with it”
        p 22, fourth para, “best way for the Psyche to protect their family” would be better as “her family” to differentiate from the Shadow AND from the family
        p 23, first para, “Shadowguide should go into their first Catharsis” should be “her first Catharsis” to match the rest of the paragraph
        p 23, last para, “hide a vital item, a Relic, or an Artifact” should be lower case “relic”
        p 24, third para, “when in charge, and it will gnaw out its own metaphorical liver” would be better as “he will gnaw out his own” to differentiate the Psyche here from the Shadow
        …same, “see the Psyche anxiously chase its own tail” would be better as “his own tale”
        p 24, fifth para, “gets caught in her masquerade” would be better as “in its masquerade” to better differentiate from Psyche and Shadowguide
        …same, “when she can take control, and she’ll put the lessons” would be better as “when it can take control, and it’ll put”
        p 24, sixth para, “the resources at his command when he takes control” would be better as “at its command when it takes control”
        …same, “cover up his mistakes while his friends” is kind of messy, as the first “his” is the Shadow but I’m not sure the SECOND one is? Better as: “cover us its mistakes while the Psyche’s friends”
        p 25, first para of sidebar, in parentheses “but knowing they did something” should be “it did something”
        p 25, second para of sidebar, “black chamber inside its own mind” should be “her mind”
        …same, “only voice it can hear” should be “she can hear”
        …same, “Alternately, they can” should be “Alternatively”
        …same, “they can attempt to distract” is ambiguous as “they” isn’t clearly referring to the PLAYER or to the PSYCHE in this case
        p 25, last para (under the sidebar), “have to think their way out of” should be “his way” to match the pronoun later in the same paragraph
        …same, “Alternately, the other” should be “Alternatively”
        p 26, second para, “but they take their cues” would be better as “she takes her cues” to differentiate the Storyteller from the Shadowguide and from the rest of the troupe
        p 26, fourth para, “spill all of their secrets” would be better as “all his secrets” to keep the Psyche clearly delineated from the Shadow
        p 26, fifth para, “then they’re going to make that choice” would be better as “then he’s going to make” for same reason as above
        …same, “the character and their development” would be better as “his development”
        …same, at the end of the paragraph, you need a period!
        p 28, first para, “If they’re just stuffing their fingers in their ears” should be changed to “If he’s just stuffing his fingers in his ears” since you use the “they” pronoun to refer to the Storyteller earlier in the same paragraph
        p 28, last para, “Alternately, they may be” should be “Alternatively”
        …same, “they may be” should be “he may be” as there is a “them” referring to the entire Circle rather than to the Reaper
        p 30, first para, “combination of knowledges and skills” should be “knowledge” as it’s not an Ability here
        p 30, second full para, you have the wording about restricting Catharsis “for two reasons” but you only share ONE reason, then the next paragraph goes into Harrowings… this is confusing as heck; maybe just omit “for two reasons” and start the next sentence with “The Shadow who”
        p 30, last para, “Players and storytellers” should be capitalized “Storytellers”
        p 31, para in the sidebar, “wraith’s presence on their living friends and family” would be better as “on her” since the object of the sentence is a couple of plural nouns
        p 32, third para, “simple example: why have one wraith” should be capitalized “example: Why”
        p 32, last para, “powerful enemy, be they wraith or Spectre” would be better as “be it”
        p 33, fifth para, “Alternately, something as simple” should be “Alternatively”
        …same, “or a legionnaire” should be capital “Legionnaire”
        P 35, second para (above the sidebar), “especially with regard the living” should be “regard to the living”
        …same, “on in-game goes a long way towards making” should be “toward”
        p 36, end of second para, “a few suggestions:” looks messy to me… Since the following all have colons as well, maybe it would look better to end this paragraph with “but you’ll find suggestions below.” (Yes, pedantic, I know!)
        p 37, first para, “have a Passion related to their killer” would be better as “to her killer” since you use plural pronouns to describe the Circle in the same paragraph
        p 38, first para, “out of the Necropolis and they need” needs a comma, “Necropolis, and they”
        p 38, second para, “before they can do irreparable harm” should be “before he can” since the players (plural) are stopping the single Doppelganger
        p 38, fourth para, “tasked with reaping new souls” should be capital “Reaping”
        p 39 second para, “well, they probably deserved it” would be better as “he probably deserved” to avoid confusion with the gang versus the Hierarch
        …same, “This kind of Chronicle” should be lower case “chronicle”
        p 39, third para, “rival Renegade gang bent on taking what the Circle had for their own” is messy; better to say “bent on taking for their own what the Circle has”
        p 39, fifth para, “name respected (and maybe feared) should be” would be better with dashes instead of parentheses
        p 39, last para, “This Wasn’t in The Brochure” should have lower case “the”
        p 40, third para, “questions in mind: what role” should be capitalized as “mind: What role”
        p 40, third para, “doesn’t mean they will do it, or that they will do it for free, but they do offer” should be changed to “mean he will do it, or that he will do it for free, but he does offer” because you are referring to “the character” as the antecedent rather than the Circle, who also get “they/them” pronoun in this paragraph
        p 41, paragraph of the sidebar, “can decide the Circle are their personal prey” would be better as “the Circle is its personal prey” to keep the Specter in question distinct from the Circle
        …same, “cackling as they attack the Circle” would be better as “as it attacks”
        …same, “think about them like any other character” would be better as “think about it”
        p 41, last para (under the sidebar), “to develop their character” would be better as “develop his character” since the entire troupe is mentioned in this paragraph
        p 42, first para, “sort of chronicle they want to tell” would be better as “she wants to tell” since this is the Storyteller and neither the player nor the troupe
        p 42, fourth para, “Alternately, you can use the figure” should be “Alternatively”
        …same, “as a return on their investment” should be “his investment” since it refers to the same hypothetical Mentor as earlier in the paragraph
        p 42, sixth para, “the player in building their ally” should be “building her ally” to match the pronoun used for the player later in the paragraph
        p 42, last para, “The other alternative” would be better with “Another alternative”


        B.I.G. Bird spreads the word: Anybody with a heart votes love

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