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[Silly Fun Time] THE TIGER, IT CANNOT BE CONTAINED!

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  • [Silly Fun Time] THE TIGER, IT CANNOT BE CONTAINED!

    Actually, it opened because you stepped on that black square.
    ...of course if that's wasn't there, it would have opened anyway because you're beautiful.


    The Beautiful People


    Most people use the term "the beautiful people" to refer to the rich and the celebrities. While such people are attractive, they aren't truly the beautiful people.

    No, the beautiful people are so beautiful that it actively futzes with the time-space continuum. They ascend to the very heavens due to being the prettiest.

    Why yes, they are too sexy for their shirts.

    Basic Traits of the Beautiful People
    Unbelievably Pretty
    It goes without saying that the Beautiful People are (in the parlance of the kids) hawt. They receive the benefits of Striking Looks (Unbelievably, Eye-Gougingly Sexy) •• merit for free. In addition, they may add their Striking Looks bonus to their Defense, as well as to their Resolve or Composure for the purposes of Social Maneuvering.

    Superhuman Beauty
    The Beautiful People possess a Supernatural Tolerance trait called Too Damn Pretty; all Beautiful People possess at least one dot of Too Damn Pretty.
    Too Damn Pretty Dots Pulchritude Sexy Bastard? Stupidly Attractive Maximum Dots of Stupidly Beautiful Powers
    1 2 Yes (1 dot) -0 2
    2 4 Yes (2 dots) -1 3
    3 6 Yes (3 dots) -1 4
    4 8 Yes (4 dots) -2 5
    5 10 Yes (5 dots) -3 6
    Pulchritude
    The Beautiful People are so beautiful that they can substitute raw sex appeal for Willpower. They gain a pool of Pulchritude, which may be spent in the following ways once per turn:

    As Willpower: The Beautiful People may spend Pulchritude as if it were Willpower. This does not count towards their per-turn limit on Willpower if it spent on a roll that already benefits from their Striking Looks.
    To Open Doors: Once per scene, a Beautiful Person may spend Pulchritude to open a Door while social maneuvering.
    • To Force Someone To Acknowledge Them As Stupidly Attractive: Once per scene, a Beautiful Person may spend Pulchritude to force a character to suffer from the fact that the Beautiful Person is Stupidly Attractive.
    To Call Up Porno Sax: By spending Pulchritude reflexively, a Beautiful Person may cause a nearby sound system to start playing smooth, sexy sax music at any volume they wish.

    They recover a point of Pulchritude whenever they receive Willpower from rest. Additionally, they may regain a point of Pulchritude when indulging in their Vice or Virtue, but only if they do so in public.

    Sexy Bastard?
    All signs point to yes. Specifically, each dot of Too Damn Pretty also gives the Beautiful Person a dot of Sexy Bastard. Whenever they spend Pulchritude in place of Willpower to use The Tiger Can't Be Contained, anyone seeing them suffers from the fact that they are Stupidly Attractive.

    Stupidly Attractive
    The Beautiful People have an eldritch, mind-breaking beauty. The puny minds of those seeing them simply break on exposure to the shear glory of their sexy bods. Specifically, any character that sees a Beautiful Person in a state of undress without first mentally preparing themselves (or who is otherwise forced to acknowledge the Beautiful Person as stupidly attractive) suffers a Breaking Point at the listed penalty. Rather than the normal Conditions, Failing or Succeeding causes the Swooning condition towards the Beautiful Person, while a Dramatic Failure causes the Accidentally Turned On condition instead.

    Powers of the Beautiful
    The Beautiful People can warp the world through the fact that they are that damn pretty, yes sirree. All Beautiful People receive three dots of appropriate Dharmas or Influences; two of those dots must be spent on Dharma (Sexiness) or Influence (Sexiness). They may not start with more than two dots in any one Dharma or Influence. The Beautiful People spend Pulchritude in place of Essence when using Dharmas and Influences; they may pay the Pulchritude cost over multiple turns.

    A Beautiful Person cannot use True Dharma or True Influence unless at least a million people are paying direct attention to them. They are also restricted in the range of their True Dharma and Influence; they may only affect the crowd that is viewing them at that time, and the effects only last for about a month or two.

    Any character that views the Beautiful Person while they are mucking with reality is forced to confront the fact of their Stupidly Attractive power.

    Additional dots of Too Damn Sexy cost 5 experience.
    Additional dots of appropriate Dharmas or Influences cost 3 experience each.

    If you really felt like it, you could come up with Cliques or whatever that define what a particular Beautiful Person considers appropriate. Heck, you could come up with a whole limited list of Niches that they can have power over, swap out the mandatory dots of Dharminfluence over Sexiness with in-Clique Niches.

    That is, however, too much work for a joke template.


    I have decided, after some thought, that I don't really feel happy on these forums. I might decide to come back to post. Who knows - but right now, I'm gone.

    So good bye, good luck, and have a nice day.

  • #2
    I love this so much. Hell, tone the silliness down a bit and this might actually work as a legit minor template.


    My homebrew hub.

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    • #3
      This feels like something the Daeva, the Gentry, or the Psychic Vampires spoiled earlier would invest in with the silliness toned down. That said, as is, it would work quite well in a Dudes of Legend game.


      My Homebrew Hub

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      • #4
        How about a handsome bubble, where whenever they try something everyone around them helps out, getting an automatic teamwork bonus?

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        • #5
          Originally posted by amechra View Post
          To Call Up Porno Sax: By spending Pulchritude reflexively, a Beautiful Person may cause a nearby sound system to start playing smooth, sexy sax music at any volume they wish.
          I think this is the thing that I latched onto the most.

          Weaponized Sax music people!



          Amechra.... How do you come up with this stuff? I want some.


          Mechs: Because even the Chronicles of Darkness needs robot fights.
          DarkFrame: Crossover setting that puts Chronicles of Darkness in the far future that is Warframe.
          Monarch: The Endless You are an alien ruler, charged with maintaining a people who you shape to suit your needs.

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          • #6
            The bit about sax music actually reminded me of that Portal 2 scene where the announcer goes: "Smooth jazz will be deployed. In three, two, one. [Smooth jazz plays]"


            My homebrew hub.

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            • #7
              I'm flagging the OP for saxual content. Only Big Band can post that.


              "I hope you will have a long and happy life, if only so you can realize how stupid and wrong you are."

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              • #8
                Originally posted by Almarck View Post

                I think this is the thing that I latched onto the most.

                Weaponized Sax music people!
                If this was something I was taking seriously, I'd toss a note in there that you're limited by the speaker (no going to 12 on a speaker that goes to 11!)

                But yes, you can blow out everyone's eardrums with smooth, schmexy jazz. How it is still smooth at 125 dB, I don't know, but then I'm not pretty enough to pull the trick off anyway, so...

                Amechra.... How do you come up with this stuff? I want some.
                An over-active imagination and an under-active sense of shame.

                I'm flagging the OP for saxual content. Only Big Band can post that.
                I can't believe prudes like you!

                Everyone and their saintly mother posts stuff full of violins all the time, but I post one measly post with a little tiny bit of sax in it, and suddenly you're up in arms!

                It's a conspiracy, I tell ya!



                How about a handsome bubble, where whenever they try something everyone around them helps out, getting an automatic teamwork bonus?
                I mean, they already walk into a room, rip off their shirt, and everyone goes "Mmm, yes, such an exquisite bod", giving them pretty large bonuses to convincing people to help them out. If I were STing, I'd say that most people would end up giving them teamwork bonuses anyway.

                Because they're beautiful.


                As for making them more serious... Look at Phasael mery-Harumaph on the last page.

                It'd be like that.


                I have decided, after some thought, that I don't really feel happy on these forums. I might decide to come back to post. Who knows - but right now, I'm gone.

                So good bye, good luck, and have a nice day.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Hm, how about being so sexy that other people that spend enough time associated with you become prettier just because being related to you in some tangential way acts as a mirror to your sexy sexy image?

                  Maybe require that you have to give them some pep talk as the requirement... Because obviously following your advice has to work since we'll... Look at yourself!


                  Mechs: Because even the Chronicles of Darkness needs robot fights.
                  DarkFrame: Crossover setting that puts Chronicles of Darkness in the far future that is Warframe.
                  Monarch: The Endless You are an alien ruler, charged with maintaining a people who you shape to suit your needs.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Almarck View Post
                    Hm, how about being so sexy that other people that spend enough time associated with you become prettier just because being related to you in some tangential way acts as a mirror to your sexy sexy image?

                    Maybe require that you have to give them some pep talk as the requirement... Because obviously following your advice has to work since we'll... Look at yourself!
                    You can do a short-term version with Dharma (Sexiness) - but I'd say that your advice would just be a good justification to buy up Striking Looks.


                    I have decided, after some thought, that I don't really feel happy on these forums. I might decide to come back to post. Who knows - but right now, I'm gone.

                    So good bye, good luck, and have a nice day.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      I think that Zoolander is one of them...



                      My stuff for Realms of Pugmire, Scion 2E, CoD Contagion, Dark Eras, VtR 2E, WtF 2E, MtAw 2E, MtC 2E & BtP
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                      • #12
                        where was that in Dudes of Legend? :P


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                        "And all our knowledge is, Ourselves to know"- An Essay on Man

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                        • #13
                          Antagonists!

                          Who hunts the Beautiful People? Who would dare?

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                          • #14
                            The Jealous, of course.

                            And the Elizabeth Bathorys of the world.


                            My homebrew hub.

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                            • #15
                              I assume the sexophone can be substitute for steamy Spanish guitar? Or is that specific to a particular Clique?

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