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Beast: the Monomyth

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  • #31
    Originally posted by The Throne View Post
    Go away and let other people take fun.
    The difficulty is that as Satchel indicated, this is more or less continuing a previous thread (which itself came from a previous thread). The criticism makes a bit more sense in context.


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    • #32
      I can relate... but the solution is the same, i think? I too read many post that put me to unease. My thread were ignored too. And this is fine: nobody is perfect....for anybody Make post over post about " You MUST agree with me, hod dare you!" is ... not optimal, yes?
      I dont argue over, too.
      Thanks to all

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      • #33
        On a different front, and from a place of real concern:

        Originally posted by crapcarp View Post
        For example, when I read Thaddeus's backstory, I literally went into a bout of suicidal depression.
        I have thoughts and questions about this particular reaction, but the main one is that I hope that you are getting help for dealing with your problems. Professional aid cannot be overstated where suicidal depression is concerned, and it's important that you take care of yourself.


        Sean K.I.W./Kelly R.A. Steele, Freelance Writer(Feel free to call me Sean, Kelly, Arcane, or Arc)
        The world is not beautiful, therefore it is.-Keiichi Sigsawa, Kino's Journey
        Male/neutral pronouns accepted, female pronouns enjoyed.

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        • #34
          Originally posted by ArcaneArts View Post
          I have thoughts and questions about this particular reaction, but the main one is that I hope that you are getting help for dealing with your problems. Professional aid cannot be overstated where suicidal depression is concerned, and it's important that you take care of yourself.
          Oh yeah, I'm definitely healing in that regard.

          Anyways, I've done some updates in response to criticisms.
          • I've rewritten the introduction to be less confrontational and better convey why I'm making Monomyth.
          • The Integrity analogue has been separated from Myth and made into Conformity. Conformity represents a Beast's attunement to the Monomyth; how well they obey to its rules. They start with 3 dots in it at character creation. If they have 10 dots they fully succumb to the Monomyth, becoming a Storyteller character. Myth is the Beast's personal legend; its dots increasing as it becomes more complex and nuanced.
          • Maledictions have been renamed Mala (singular Malum; it means "evil" in Latin).
          • Added some basic descriptions to Monomyth's major themes, and I'll write up more detailed ones in the future.
          • Cut out that part about Heroes requiring low Integrity.

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          • #35
            The "fix" comment and naming an antagonist the Devoured is still pretty confrontational, as it not fixing the misstatement about how Devouring works in Primordial. You are not Devoured by another Beast, another Beast uses their power over nightmares to force you to confront your Horror which then tries to Devour you; the only substantive difference between Emergence and Devouring is Devouring creates a built in socialization between Beasts by having most Beasts undergo the Devouring under the watch and influence of a mentor.

            Conformity being a fail state at 10 is still a bad design choice because it's a bad roll and you irrevocably lose your character. There is no clear reason to have Conformity 10 be an unrecoverable state (even if perhaps not personally)... after all what could be better as a subversive act against the Monomyth than pulling a Beast back from that state?

            The Bans and Banes weakness doesn't mesh with the new Myth power stat as written. If high Myth is a Beast's personal legend, they shouldn't be losing their control over it by getting more dots in it.

            Renaming Maledictions to Mala is missed the whole point of the issues raised with them as a concept. Primordial divides powers into Atavisms and Nightmares on a design level to play with the way Satiety influences them disparately. This division doesn't serve a purpose if they are functionally the same; as well as no real explanation for where they came from.

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            • #36
              Originally posted by crapcarp View Post
              I'm not kidding here. For example, when I read Thaddeus's backstory, I literally went into a bout of suicidal depression. The writers aren't to blame for this, and it certainly wasn't their intent. It's just a simple case of my mental damage not gelling well with how Primordial was presented. Horror games should be a bit uncomfortable, given the subject matter, but they should never be too much so. Unfortunately, Primordial is too uncomfortable for me. Shit happens, and no one's to blame here.
              Fair enough but why and how does Monomyth change this? If I could get a clearer understanding of the rewrite purposes I would probably be supportive.

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              • #37
                To go with your renewed focus on this being a new game and not a homebrew for Primordial, I suggest you change all the places that compare it to Primordial in your actual write up to simply explain the feature directly rather than as a comparison to Primordial. If there are portions of rules that you want to use from Primordial without re-posting them here then that should be handled as a parenthetical that mention Primodial as a reference but doesn't draw comparisons. I can cite spcific examples but I think its better to do a once over yourself before I were to do so.



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                • #38
                  Originally posted by ElvesofZion View Post
                  To go with your renewed focus on this being a new game and not a homebrew for Primordial, I suggest you change all the places that compare it to Primordial in your actual write up to simply explain the feature directly rather than as a comparison to Primordial. If there are portions of rules that you want to use from Primordial without re-posting them here then that should be handled as a parenthetical that mention Primodial as a reference but doesn't draw comparisons. I can cite spcific examples but I think its better to do a once over yourself before I were to do so.
                  Fair enough, so the Overview's been updated to suit. Now, the only time it does mention Primordial is when it matches up to it (like Lairs, for instance). I also made some other updates:
                  • Renamed Themes to Motifs so they wouldn't be confused with the game's major themes.
                  • Replaced the Ogbanje Breed with Shakpana because Shakpana has more relevance as a monster type.
                  • Added Breed nicknames in italics within their descriptions.
                  • Replaced the Torture Motif with Blight.
                  • Added the Falsity Motif.
                  • Replaced Misericords with Purgers and renamed Puritans with Exemplars.
                  • Replaced the Light Motif with the Lore and Revelation Motifs and removed the Euthanasia and Bounty Motifs.
                  • Added the Justice and Honor Motifs.
                  • Added lists for the Leitmotifs of Breeds, Creeds, and Foils.
                  • Renamed Insatiables to Archetypes (Archetypes makes more sense for Conformity 10 Beasts, as well as being less confronting to Primordial)

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                  • #39
                    So, I only have a little time here and there but I want to provide some constructive help when I can.

                    I just started reading through again with the latest update and will just post things as I notice them.

                    First thing: In the Family theme, you mention that Humans look tasty to Beasts. This is really weird. For one thing, Beasts don't actually eat Humans (unless that's your intention but it doesn't really match with the rest right now). For the second, I don't think it has anything to do with the Family theme. Again, unless it is actually part of the game in other ways in order to re-enforce the alienation they would feel from humans.


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                    • #40
                      Originally posted by ElvesofZion View Post
                      So, I only have a little time here and there but I want to provide some constructive help when I can.

                      I just started reading through again with the latest update and will just post things as I notice them.

                      First thing: In the Family theme, you mention that Humans look tasty to Beasts. This is really weird. For one thing, Beasts don't actually eat Humans (unless that's your intention but it doesn't really match with the rest right now). For the second, I don't think it has anything to do with the Family theme. Again, unless it is actually part of the game in other ways in order to re-enforce the alienation they would feel from humans.
                      Well, there's nothing stopping Beasts from eating people. In fact, most Cipactli Scourges do just that. However, the whole "humans looking tasty" isn't meant to be taken literally, it was just an artful way to describe how Beasts view Commoners instinctively as prey.

                      Bit of an update today. I've renamed the Amaroka to Nyarlathoteps. I was looking into Amarok from Inuit mythology, and I found they didn't really embody the unknown. When it came to naming the Breed, I was awfully tempted to name it Cthulhu. While Lovecraft did create a mythos of incomprehensible monstrousities, Cthulhu himself is much more of a Malakim. So I looked through the Cthulhu mythos to find a more appropriate entity to name it after. So I decided on Nyarlathotep, instead.

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                      • #41
                        Originally posted by crapcarp View Post

                        Well, there's nothing stopping Beasts from eating people. In fact, most Cipactli Scourges do just that. However, the whole "humans looking tasty" isn't meant to be taken literally, it was just an artful way to describe how Beasts view Commoners instinctively as prey.
                        Well, my critique remains. The fact that you needed to and were able to expand upon that in this comment leads me to think you should revise/add to the Family section to make it clearer.

                        On a seperate note, what are Motifs? I assume that Atavisms are ported from Promordial, and that Mala replace Nightmares (though aside from that I don't understand what they are without just assuming they are a renamed Nightmare since unlike Atavisms, you havent described them at all). You also mention Centerl lietmotifs but do not specifiy what that means.

                        Also, for Lair, you say it works just like Primordial, except it isn't a power trait anymore so it can't work just like Primodial. How big is it? How many Elements does it have? It says Theme prerequisits, though I assume that should be changed to Motif, but the whole Motif system has not been explained.


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