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[Fiction Thread] Mother's Hollow

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  • GibberingEloquence
    replied
    I'm on mobile right now, so I can't give feedback, but I heartily recommend that Cinder read some Sloth's Pit stories, which focus on a very similar town within the SCP Foudation setting.

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  • ajf115
    replied
    I thought that the Ozymandias story was an excellent example of an otherwise 'benevolent' Beast losing control and giving in and the consequences thereof.

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  • ajf115
    replied
    Originally posted by Cinder View Post
    No worries, it's probably my fault and no big deal anyways. Let me know when you post it, so I can give you some feedback.

    At the moment it's just in the gdoc for Demon. It's in the Chronicles of Darkness bit.

    Leave a comment:


  • Cinder
    replied
    Originally posted by ajf115 View Post


    OK, sorry. I might have misinterpreted what you said. My apologies.
    No worries, it's probably my fault and no big deal anyways. Let me know when you post it, so I can give you some feedback.

    Leave a comment:


  • ajf115
    replied
    Originally posted by Cinder View Post
    Oh, you mean you wanted to post some fiction here as well? If that's the case I'd rather avoid that. Could you please remove it? Sorry, nothing personal, but I made this thread to keep my stuff about Mother's Hollow ordered.

    The story's good, though. Don't hesitate to post it elsewhere.

    OK, sorry. I might have misinterpreted what you said. My apologies.

    Leave a comment:


  • Cinder
    replied
    Originally posted by ajf115 View Post


    Thanks. Here's a story based on Shadowknight1224's Demon: the Release. It's an excellent fansplat, for all that it's only part-done. One of the best I've seen.

    Oh, you mean you wanted to post some fiction here as well? If that's the case I'd rather avoid that. Could you please remove it? Sorry, nothing personal, but I made this thread to keep my stuff about Mother's Hollow ordered.

    The story's good, though. Don't hesitate to post it elsewhere.

    Leave a comment:


  • ajf115
    replied
    I'm not sure how to take down a post so this'll just have to be here I guess.
    Last edited by ajf115; 02-22-2016, 03:54 PM.

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  • ajf115
    replied
    Originally posted by Cinder View Post
    Sometimes the Infrastructure is so much in clear sight that you have to wonder if it's even trying anymore. I'll keep an eye out for gears, try to do the same

    (Don't worry, when I said I was open to all kinds of feedback and reactions, I mean it )

    Thanks. Sorry for the misunderstanding about the fiction.
    Last edited by ajf115; 02-22-2016, 03:53 PM.

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  • Cinder
    replied
    Originally posted by ajf115 View Post
    Sorry, popping in here agin, d'you mind if I do something here? I'll understand if you say no. The Ozymandias thing's really good.

    It's quite a coincidence actually, In class we're doing stuff on the poem Ozymandias which gave me an idea for a geist named Ozymandias and then I come on here and find a story called Ozymandias. I'm calling God-Machine involvement here.
    Sometimes the Infrastructure is so much in clear sight that you have to wonder if it's even trying anymore. I'll keep an eye out for gears, try to do the same

    (Don't worry, when I said I was open to all kinds of feedback and reactions, I meant it )

    Leave a comment:


  • ajf115
    replied
    Sorry, popping in here agin, d'you mind if I do something here? I'll understand if you say no. The Ozymandias thing's really good.

    It's quite a coincidence actually, In class we're doing stuff on the poem Ozymandias which gave me an idea for a geist named Ozymandias and then I come on here and find a story called Ozymandias. I'm calling God-Machine involvement here.

    Leave a comment:


  • Cinder
    replied
    Ozymandias
    Chapter 1

    Sam was sure that his history teacher was a monster. Not figuratively, as an insult or the sort of name the TV gave to murderers and criminals, but the real kind of monster. The one from legends and fairytales. The one from nightmares.

    Not that others would have believed him, obviously. Truth to be told, Mr. King was not a bad teacher and that only made things more complicated. He loved his job, you could tell that at first sight, and showed a degree of care towards his students that not all teachers had. When he talked, it was because he wanted to get your interest and, notably, he always seemed to listen to whatever you had to say. Not merely "listening", like many other adults did, but really focusing all his attention on your words, even if he disagreed. He was attentive and helpful, even if sometimes it made him look like he was trying too hard. Under all aspects, he played his role so well that even Sam could not tell what was true and what a part of the ruse. Then why Sam was so unshakably certain that he was a monster?

    His grades were not exactly the best, but Sam was far from being stupid: he knew far too well that accusing his teacher of being a monster right out of myths would have made him look insane, especially given the circumstances. First year of high school, thrown into a completely different environment, a kid who had always showed a fervid immagination has to face the sudden death of the older brother while the community is still dealing with the aftermath of the horrifying murder that shocked it as a whole. Sam could almost picture his parents dissmissing his impressions or his therapist calling it "a way to cope with the trauma". Bullshit. He was angry, yes. And he missed Brian, but whatever happened to him or to sheriff had nothing to do with this. Sure, his parents carried on day after day like zombies and could not care less about whatever happened to Sam, but things were not so simple. He could not give form to his thoughts if asked, but Sam understood their grieving and, even if they made him feel like they loved Brian more, he still accepted it. It was fine; he liked his brother more than he liked himself as well. Brian was cool, fun and always had time to play with his little brother. If anything, he was pissed at the fact that their tragedy went almost unnoticed by others, but if the town's sheriff is found cut into pieces in the main square, his blood and bowels scattered everywhere, the elder son of the Lachance's that dies later that evening crushing into a tree with his bike kinda shifts into the background. For the following weeks, it was almost as if Sam and his parents were the only one affected by the death of Brian. Everybody was talking about Sheriff Holloway's murder while Sam had to fight the urge to scream at their face and make them notice that Brian was gone. He was perfectly not aware of what happened to the sheriff, he was among the few who saw his body before the police came in. Just after the end of the lessons, while going back home, nobody exactly sure how the killer managed to put the corpse in place without getting noticed. Not a fun way to end your first day of school. He forgot it at first, his thoughts swept away by Brian's accident, but it was in the crowd that gathered to see what happened to the sheriff that Sam noticed Mr. King. That's when a shiver went down his spine.

    Even after the funeral, Sam could not dismiss the impression that there was something wrong about his teacher. He could not exactly explain it. It was just a sensation, a feeling that just would not go away. Once he saw him that day, perfectly still and silent in the mids of the murmuring crowd, his eyes betraying cold-blooded hatred the kinds of Sam had never seen before, the idea that Mr. King was not human just stuck with Sam and kept growing. He clinged to this obsession as if his life depended on it. For what he knew, Sam was the only one that noticed, meaning he had to the duty to do something. He had no idea what to do, but he could not just stand there and let it go. Monsters hurt people, isn't it? Sam just had to be sure, find proof and then warn others about the danger, protect them. No more tragedies, no more broken families.

    Sam started to pay attention, eager to see anything in Mr. King's behavior that would betray his true nature. It was not easy: he knew well how to pretend, not to mention that, no matter how much he would have liked to, Sam could not bring himself to really hate his teacher. He was one of the few that actually bothered to ask Sam how he felt after Brian's death and, absurdly, he seemed to empathize with his loss, as if he knew the feeling. Clever, really clever. He eventually tried to turn their conversation into a tirade about how nothing lasts and that we have to deal with the consequences whether we like it or not. He was no kind about this. He put Sam in front of the harsh truth where all the others treated him as if he was made of glass. It was not pleasant at all, but Sam could not deny the weight of those words and felt they proved to be helpful, in a weird sort of way. Still, that was not not enought to dissuade him from his efforts.

    To be fair, Sam wanted to find some real proofs to convince himself as well. There was a part of him that needed to be sure, that held him back. At first, he just kept an eye on Mr. King at school, asking a few careful questions here and there and paying attention whenever his teacher became the subject of a conversation. First, he learned that he was not from Mother's Hollow. He arrived into town a few years back, coming from nobody knows where. He found himself a place and did a bunch of different jobs. Sam knew that Mr. King was young, perhaps a bit too young, at least according to his parents. He began working at the school that very same year. The interesting part was that, as the gossip went, he managed to obtain the job because somebody pulled a few strings. Mr King seemed qualified enough, but it appears like he was helped along the way. Not much, as far as informations go. Sam had to pay more attention. He knew nothing about investigations outside what he learned from moves and TV but managed to notice a few things. While Mr. King managed to be attentive and engaging most of the time, there were some rare days where you could tell he just was not there. Not just tired, as Sam was because of all the restless nights he was going through recently, but something different: it was as if Mr. King's mind was under some sort of strain, about to snap. He was nervous, skittish and harsh. Nothing too glaring, but Sam was able to notice his teacher made great efforts to control himself. He was usually fair with his students, giving bad grades when deserved while also being reasonable enough with them but, on those days, his patience grew thin. It was on one of such of occasions that he made Abbey Meyer cry.

    Abbey had some of the best grades in class but that day their history teacher went out his way to demolish them. He asked her countless hard questions, the sort of stuff you're technically supposed to know but nobody ever asks, never accepting a less than perfect answer as valid. When Abbey eventually panicked, he just kept going, each question harder than the previous one, showing no intention to stop. When the bell rang, Abbey was in tears, the whole class speechless. Mr. King gave her an F and dismissed them all. The class went to lunch, but Sam sticked around. He hid outside of the door and peeked at his teacher. The teacher just sat at his desk, his face covered by his hands. He was visibly shaken, drops of sweat showing on his skin. It seemed like he was trembling...crying, perhaps? He lowered his left hand and grabbed the leg of the desk, but that's not what Sam saw. He saw the hand, yes, but he also saw the coil of a giant snake wrapped around that leg. He heard a distant, rageful hiss and felt as if he had sand on his hands. Venom-dropping fangs and cold, reptile eyes; that's what Sam saw. It took some time to recover from that vision but later, when he checked the desk, he noticed that there were some markings on the steel leg, as if someone crushed it with his bare hands.

    Sam had no doubts anymore.

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