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My five favorite Geists (that I or someone else came up with)

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  • My five favorite Geists (that I or someone else came up with)

    THE WAIN-PULLER
    He's short -- I say 'he' I'm pretty sure it's a he, I've never asked him, and he wouldn't answer if he did. He's short and gaunt, I'd guess from somewhere in southeast Asia, but I guess I'd have to see his face to be sure. It's all wrapped up in stained cloth, and under one of those enormous hats you see the rice farm workers use. He doesn't talk, mostly points at things. And he's never without his wain. It probably used to be a rickshaw, at some point, but it's been repurposed. There's always bodies in it, now. Dead bodies, usually human, but sometimes dogs or stranger things. And they all died of plague, so there's always flies, too. The left wheel on the wain creaks something fierce, so I always know when he's 'coming.' I've heard some Sin-Eaters' geists leave them alone from time to time. By God and all the saints, I wish the Wain-Puller didn't feel the need to always be within 50 feet of me.

    MR. LAMP
    Yeah, I've seen Bea's geist. He doesn't put it many appearances, but when he does...egah. Picture a tall man, like, seven feet tall, with a 19th century Brooks Brothers wool suit. He's not like, a person, though, he's more like some kinda rich people decoration come to life. Like them fancy brass fixtures you see on like, lamps and dresser handles and shit? That's his skin. Skin of brass, nails of nickel, eyes of green glass, like those lamps in old-timey banks. He moves all herky-jerky, like a machine that needs oil. Every so often, he'll reach out to take something, before remembering he can't touch it, and his fingers pass through it. His face gets all scowly and he pouts. Bea tries to stop him, because the pouting bothers her so much. I think I could live with it, but I ain't her.

    RIGOR OTIS
    I got some theories about how he got to be the way he is. My favorite is the one that seems most true. Otis was a slave way back when, maybe in the south, maybe in Egypt, I don't know, but he was a black man taken as a slave by one group or another. He knew he was gonna die, so he ran, thinking it better to take a chance starving in the wilderness maybe as opposed to dying from an angry slave master definitely. His owners came looking for him, and he wound up getting treed by dogs. The owners decided to starve him out, because they were cruel, and eventually he tried to get out of the tree and slammed his head on a branch on the way down. So now he forever wears that tree as his right side, too stiff-legged to bolt, and too dead-faced to scream his fate proper. I think Death was upset that he died the wrong way, and made him a geist outside of his own choosing. That's why I think he cries every day at 10:37 pm exactly. The time of day he cheated Death twice. That's a good story, innit?

    OPERANT COMMAND
    I don't see my geist most of the time. She lives in my smartphone. No, seriously. You're familiar with EMI? Just checking, man, some people aren't -- I think my geist spends most of her time existing as a powerful cloud of EMI. She takes over the displays of devices I happen to be near. Most of the time, she's just a screen artifact, like a burnt out pixel on a CRT or LCD monitor, or a blinking MEM function on a calculator. When she makes her presence known, it's in a programming language that doesn't exist, but looks syntactically similar to Javascript. She usually communicates in pseudocomputer argot, but she also says a lot of things that are irrelevant and just weird. Earlier today I was looking into something for a friend, and she blasts the notification sound on my phone, and displays 'ERROR ERROR ERROR RECOMPILING if condition: murder true, then set modifier: motile. ERROR set textstring: motive. If modifier "motive" present, GOTO 27.' Which was her suggesting something, in her own way. Yeah, I know it's weird, geists usually don't grok computers, but there has to be an exception somewhere, right?

    THE SAINTED MOTHER
    All right, she's not here yet, but she's coming soon. Here are some things I would fucking appreciate you not do, so that the next three days or so go smoothly. #1. Do not mention the smell. Living people can't smell it, and it's placental blood. #2. Do not maintain eye contact with her. She's like a gorilla, she interprets that as a challenge. She will, at the very least, start fucking with your geist, or at worst give me hellacious abdominal cramping until I slug you in the jaw. I don't want to punch you, but I will to get rid of the cramps. #3. Never, ever, ever, and I mean ever, mention babies around her. She will start screaming and won't stop. The last time it took three days for her to run out of gas. Oh, I almost forgot #4: if you have pictures of your children, like in your wallet or something, they're probably going to disappear over the next few days. If that happens, just let me know, I'll pull them out of her 'scrapbook' and give them back to you.

  • #2
    These are great. Really evocative Geists can really bring a game to, uh, well, you know.

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    • #3
      Those are very good geists. I'm starting to think in order to play this game you have to be able to handle gallows humor. My geists tend to be more morbid that interesting I gotta work on that.

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