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  • #16
    p. 112, text around the CD: There's a weird thing that happens depending on what PDF reader you're using. When I use Adobe Reader and the Windows in-built one, the text beneath the CD seems to change fonts from the one above in the narrow column (and from the one on the next page), or at least something odd happens and the text gets rendered differently; in Foxit Reader, there's no problem.
    p. 112: "Don’t get me wrong, reading the Testament can be entertaining; but..." -- semicolon should be a comma
    p. 125: "The man rose up, but I bared my fangs at him and hiss..." -- should be hissed
    p. 135: "Then there was Bonnefil was trying to stab me."
    p. 135: "Leila has some on her face and dress..." -- from context, I think this is supposed to be had.
    p. 136: "While there is a certain practicality to consider when one’s faith intersects with the rest of Kindred society that does not belittle or deepen the faith." -- I think there's a comma missing after society
    p. 140: "There was no signpost that showed me the best path forward; although my skill and natural talent held me in good stead." -- semicolon should be a comma
    p. 140: " the years to come. That is faith." -- The font is wrong (I think it's supposed to be underlined, rather than italics)
    Lancea chapter footer: "Lancea Et Sanctum" -- should be lowercase?

    p. 143: "Let me ask you a question; what..." -- semicolon should be a colon.
    p. 144: On the poster, there's an asterisk before "THE MOBIUS STRIP TEASE"; it might be a mistake, or it might be its mate is missing.
    p. 144: The "From: discord_scholar" is missing before the first message (though maybe that's intentional)
    p. 149: From "R is for Rayna..." to " was always open." The formatting seems to be wrong; I think it's supposed to be the Moroi's voice, not Jacob's.
    p. 149: "On further reflection, I am disgusted with the degeneracy into which your childer." -- there's a word missing?
    pp. 152-156: All the apostrophes and quotation marks are hidden. Also, there's a weird glitch with words with Fs followed by L or I, where those characters disappear:
    - p. 152: muffled
    - p. 153: muffled
    - p. 154: mummified
    - p. 154: terrified
    - p. 154: cornfield
    - p. 154: flowed
    - p. 155: fingernails
    - p. 155: flesh
    - p. 155: find
    - p. 155: pacified
    - p. 155: bonfire
    - p. 155: flame
    - p. 156: fire
    - p. 156: flame
    - p. 156: film
    - p. 156: flesh
    - p. 156: flaming
    - p. 156: flinch

    p. 201, sidebar: "To say The Mysteries of the Dragon are imperfect sciences would be a gross understatement." - should be lowercase?
    Last edited by Yossarian; 12-09-2016, 02:53 AM.

    Social justice vampire/freelancer | He/Him

    Actual Play: Vampire: The Requiem – Bloodlines
    Masquiem: Curses of Caine in Requiem 2nd
    Storytellers Vault: Author Page


    • #17
      Page 181: "the Acolyte may cast rituals on her garden that would normally last a scene. The magic of the garden sustains these rituals indefinitely." There are currently no Cruac rituals in second edition with effects than normally last a scene. Consider changing this to "the Acolyte may cast rituals on her garden that would normally last until sunrise", as the majority of rituals with lingering effects last for the remainder of the night.

      Going by Willow now, or Wil for short. She/Her/Hers.


      • #18
        Originally posted by Charlaquin View Post
        Page 181: "the Acolyte may cast rituals on her garden that would normally last a scene. The magic of the garden sustains these rituals indefinitely.
        I'd also suggest changing that to 'rituals in her garden' as most directional rituals are damaging ones and it would give a lot more use to the garden. But less an errata and more a suggestion. Though then you'd have to add in that it would only last as long as you were in the garden, or had it with you.
        Last edited by nofather; 12-09-2016, 12:42 AM.


        • #19
          p. 40: "He had no proof; but..." -- semicolon > comma
          p. 40: "At least, that’s what his letter said ."
          p. 41: "...when I lead the man..." -- should be led
          p. 41:
          "'You have a problem with authority.' He finally suggested..." -- period > comma, and He should be lowercase
          p. 42: "...we made love; and..." -- semicolon > comma, or cut the and
          p. 43: "Because the anger is often righteous and beautiful and the power is sexy; and while..." -- semicolon > comma
          p. 44: "'...not in here debating.' I muttered..." -- period > comma
          p. 44: "I followed his gestured..."
          p. 47: The Sanctified Paladins are called "Templars" a couple times; that might just be an alternate name, rather than an error, but I was a little confused at first because the action is set inside a Circle of the Crone temple.
          p. 47: "We stood outside of the place, the Paladins still screaming from outside." -- the second outside should be inside?
          p. 47: The transition between the burnt paper fragments at the bottom of the page is awkward, and breaks the flow of the sentence (" embers, and / whatever it...")
          p. 55: "'I didn't want to bother you with it.' She told me..." -- period > comma, and She should be lowercase
          p. 55: "'You don't have to do this alone.' I told her." -- period > comma
          p. 56: "...and watch the hibiscus slam itself into my window." -- should be watched
          p. 58:
          "The thing is though; you need shit to grow good produce" -- semicolon > comma
          p. 58: "If you can mumble in an old language, read simple omens, or better yet, read them; so many will treat you as a seer" -- I think the second read is supposed to be a different word, and the semicolon should be a comma.
          p. 60: "'It’s a tricky thing.' Michael asked..." -- period > comma
          p. 60: "...but one I do correspond with an expert." -- missing an is before expert (or cut the one?)
          p. 60: " seemed logical that when the disturbances to the Kindred of Nasiriyah began, in the way that they began, it was logical I should be the one brought in."
          p. 60: "...while those Spear, (Islamic, I make note for you, cousin,)" -- the first comma isn't needed, and the second should come after the parenthesis. Those Spear should also be something like "those of the Spear" (or maybe just "those Spears")?
          p. 61: "...several members of society saw a false sun..." -- missing a the
          p. 61: "'I have no need of lies.' He said..." -- period > comma, and He should be lowercase

          p. 157: "The first Mekhet were all like you; but what was once..." -- semicolon should be a comma
          p. 165: "The poor savaged tried to pull away..."
          pp. 171-174: Are there supposed to be headers for the journal entries?

          p. 178: "...a first level Mystery of the Dragon, a Theban Sorcery, or Crúac ritual, or an Invictus Merit..." -- the comma there makes the list read strangely, or it should say "Miracle" after Sorcery
          p. 179: "She must feed from –and thus..." -- needs a space after the dash
          pp. 179-180: "...become an additional Dirge for the character; thus allowing..." -- semicolon > comma
          Last edited by Yossarian; 12-09-2016, 08:26 PM.

          Social justice vampire/freelancer | He/Him

          Actual Play: Vampire: The Requiem – Bloodlines
          Masquiem: Curses of Caine in Requiem 2nd
          Storytellers Vault: Author Page


          • #20
            page 65: "Jerome and Jewel sit stiffly, looking at the floor, showing not the wisdom to watch the Genius as he speaks in order to glean what lessons they can from his words. Jewel is in her mid-twenties, with deep skin and honey-brown eyes."

            Deep what skin?

            page 68: "Jerome reaches over and takes his sister's hand." does not make it completely clear that Jerome is now the one speaking.
            Last edited by Resplendent Fire; 12-09-2016, 10:34 AM.


            • #21
              p. 3: There are two entries for Cruac Style Merits, as per the doubling on 182.

              p. 6: The font used for the handwritten notes on the bottom and right-side of the page ("The French Movement..." and "Sorry to my...") has that thing where the apostrophes are invisible
              p. 11: "Lieu Hanh kept French Kindred advisors, locals viewed outsiders as mostly dangerous." -- needs an and, I think? (or a semicolon)

              p. 62: "'What do you know about them?' He scoffed..." -- lowercase
              p. 62: "'We'll need to move.' I said." -- period > comma
              p. 62: "'Get over yourself.' I told him..." -- period > comma
              p. 63: "...and lead Michael past the kine..." -- led
              p. 63: "'Your cult, you mean,' he watched me..." -- comma should be a period; he should be uppercase.
              p. 63: "'What do you know about her?' with a touch of fear..." -- there's a he said missing, I think.
              p. 63: "'...her name is Mae.' I told him..." -- period > comma
              p. 64: "'...Don’t be foolish.' I snapped at him." -- period > comma
              p. 64: "'You're a monster!' He told me again." -- lowercase
              p. 64: "'...never been there myself.” Michael said..." period > comma
              p. 64: "I shook her head." -- my
              p. 65: The paragraph that starts "As always, our great Genius..." -- I think this is supposed to be in italics, like the narrator's other sections; it doesn't seem to be part of the dialogue above
              p. 66: "sneering" -- I think this is supposed to be in the header above, like the other "stage directions"?
              p. 66: "I suppose the most important question is this; do you..." -- semicolon should be a colon
              p. 66: "The Axes’ warning pins the Acolyte..." -- should be Axe's (it doesn't seem to be multiple people, from later context)
              p. 66: "At that point, began the twins telling their story." -- should be the twins began? (might be intended to be the narrator's odd cadence, though)
              p. 67: "...and speaks in whispers to elder." -- missing a the
              p. 68: There's a "Jerome" dialogue header missing above "Jerome reaches over..."

              p. 70: " are it; for you will..." -- semicolon should be a comma
              p. 70: The footer is a bit hard to see against the white paper
              p. 71: "Especially now —business is booming..." -- should be a space after the dash
              p. 71: "...which, in turn, lead them to Veronica." -- led
              p. 72: "There are tricks for that; but to be honest..." -- semicolon should be a comma
              p. 77: The text on the left scrap is bleeding onto the right scrap where it says "silk."
              p. 79: " go behind the Princess’ back, but surely..." -- the word is in the wrong font
              p. 80: "...and me in Belfast, but our minds are still one. Therefore..." -- "me" and "Therefore" aren't in the same font as the surrounding text
              p. 81: "Of course, we must never question..." -- Same font thing as p. 80.
              p. 84: The footer is white on white with the page; looks off
              p. 85: "Girl looks terrible by the way..." -- wrong font again
              p. 88: "She said that 'they'..." -- wrong font
              p. 89: "...but they too fell; wiped out on..." -- semicolon should be a colon or a dash
              p. 89: "Sophia Goldstein is the Invictus electorate of Berlin..." -- should be elector
              p. 93: "...the city, its people..." -- wrong font
              p. 93: "...Kindred suffer from rst stage Krokodil..." -- the F followed by I glitch again
              p. 93: "– I made her show me –" -- both those dashes are invisible in the pdf
              p. 94: "The names on it are real – all lost Kindred..." -- another invisible dash
              p. 96: "Creepy as hell; but..." semicolon should be a comma
              p. 96: "...she didn’t appreciated her/our sire..."
              p. 97: The footer is behind the text, and not very visible. It seems to get lost a lot in this chapter (next page too; is there supposed to be a black outline around the footer text?)
              p. 98: "Beatrice: But it fell." -- The space after the colon should be a tab
              p. 98: "...we transformed along with the timse."
              p. 100: "...still sleeps under the [blanked out]..." -- I think this is supposed to actually be blanked out? It seems odd that the narrator would write that in cursive handwriting, in her diary (there are instances of [blanked out] in Beatrice's transcripts too, so maybe they're all supposed to be obscured?)
              pp. 100-101, transcript: Gennaro becomes Professor Gennaro in the dialogue, and it breaks the alignment of the formatting
              p. 105: "...disappointed to see them go." -- wrong font

              Bookmarks: There aren't any bookmarks for "The Trouble with Carmilla" (p. 77) or "Facility 52" (p. 91)
              Last edited by Yossarian; 12-13-2016, 03:27 AM.

              Social justice vampire/freelancer | He/Him

              Actual Play: Vampire: The Requiem – Bloodlines
              Masquiem: Curses of Caine in Requiem 2nd
              Storytellers Vault: Author Page


              • #22
                p. 194: Temple of Damnation should include as a Prerequisite Lancea et Sanctum Status •.


                • #23
                  P77, text convo: Mikhail's last reply is part of Sarah's bubble

                  P80 bottom & P81 top: Same email convo repeated

                  P93 "suffer from rst stage" should be "suffer from first stage"

                  P98 "Beatrice: But it fell" is not indented

                  P100 "sleeps under the [blanked out]" looks kinda weird since it's a handwritten document. Maybe put a location there (ie the Colosseum) and black it like they do in redacted government docs.

                  P100: The interview starts between "Gennaro" and Beatrice, then switches to "Professor Gennaro". For indentation's sake maybe stick to Gennaro, even if that means the transcriber improperly dropped his title.

                  Freelance Author and Developer for Onyx Path Publishing


                  • #24
                    p. 14: "While a couple of licks put forward the idea that maybe, just maybe, the Embrace should be limited; the ruling council..." -- semicolon should be a comma
                    p. 19: "This is doubly nice; because..." -- semicolon should be a comma
                    p. 21: "...than feeling good; and..." -- semicolon should be a comma
                    p. 23, sidebar: The apostrophe in the "I'm" of the header is invisible.
                    p. 25: "Our sire? Caridad de Flores?" -- wrong font
                    p. 33-34: Some of the apostrophes and dashes are invisible in the Dubai story font
                    p. 37: "...I'd love to see..." -- wrong font

                    p. 180: "...needs possess this Merit." -- missing a "to"
                    p. 181: "When the Movement conquered Honolulu..." -- the Crone chapter seems to indicate it's an Acolyte city? I might be misreading it.
                    p. 181: The first column on the right hand side of the page is out of alignment with the ones under it
                    Last edited by Yossarian; 12-18-2016, 03:56 PM.

                    Social justice vampire/freelancer | He/Him

                    Actual Play: Vampire: The Requiem – Bloodlines
                    Masquiem: Curses of Caine in Requiem 2nd
                    Storytellers Vault: Author Page


                    • #25
                      p. 8: "Mayor Blasio." — The name of New York's mayor is Bill de Blasio.
                      p. 199: "Characters inside a chapterhouse are calmed and collected." — The idiom is "calm and collected."
                      Last edited by Jadasc; 12-12-2016, 02:58 PM.


                      • #26
                        p. 118: The star and connected note is in an awkward place and likely belongs a couple lines higher, where it would align with the end of a sentence. Also, further down, where the text says: "She smiled at me. “Well, if we're seen together", the bolded parts are in a different font from the surrounding text.

                        Christopher Shaffer, freelancer. Game line contributions: W20, Night Horrors, TC: Æon, Scion (details here)
                        Blog post write-ups of my gaming sessions; Currently running Exalted, and also updating old Promethean sessions


                        • #27
                          p. 184: "...only one such monster will be present at a given time; no matter how many times the vampire uses Crúac." -- semicolon should be a comma (or a dash)
                          p. 192: Not exactly a mistake, but the Lancea et Sanctum section doesn't get a nifty subtitle in the heading or the page footer.
                          Last edited by Yossarian; 12-13-2016, 03:31 AM.

                          Social justice vampire/freelancer | He/Him

                          Actual Play: Vampire: The Requiem – Bloodlines
                          Masquiem: Curses of Caine in Requiem 2nd
                          Storytellers Vault: Author Page


                          • #28
                            pp. 152-156

                            The font used is difficult for me to read. I don't know if that applies to anyone else, but I thought I'd mention. A specific thing that I find very difficult to interpret is "room number #" and the # is basically unreadable. Maybe that's intended. It's not 9, which is the number it most closely resembles.

                            Also, it looks like words that start with "F" in this section lose their first two letters. I saw " nd" for "find," " ame" for "flame," " re" for "fire," but there may be others.


                            • #29
                              Copy-pasting the number makes it turn up as a 9 in other fonts. But I do agree that the font is difficult to read.

                              Other symbols that for some reason doesn't show up is all the apostrophes throughout the entire text, as far as I checked, as well as the bolded letters in this line on page 152:
                              "Then we were on the road. And a muffled voice from the box said, “That wasnt funny.""

                              The omission of apostrophes might be intentional if the writer isn't supposed to be proficient with English, but I doubt it, and either way they still leave unnatural spaces in the middle of words.

                              Edit: All of which Yossarian already had pointed out.

                              Bloodline: The Stygians
                              Ordo Dracul Mysteries: Mystery of Smoke, Revised Mystery of Živa
                              Mage The Awakening: Spell Quick Reference (single page and landscape for computer screens)


                              • #30
                                Ah, yeah, I scanned for it before I posted but I didn't spot it in Yossarian's post. Thanks btw, for some reason copy-pasting didn't cross my mind.