[3E] The Artifact and Evocation Workshop

[rungok]

Okay so here's the updated versions of Cut the Coward and Cut the mind:

Cut the Coward
Cost: 4m 1w Mins: Essence 2
Type: Reflexive
Keywords: Decisive-only
Duration: Instant
Prerequisites: Cut the Home
Sometimes a foe ducks and hides like a coward when threatened by the exalt's wrath. Sometimes a foe throws a shield or one of the exalt's allies in the way of the exalt's stroke. The exalt strikes out regardless and only severs the coward.
When making a decisive attack, the exalt can reflexively activate this evocation to turn the bonus to defense the target gains from cover into a penalty of the same amount. The blade seems to dematerialize through the cover, leaving it unharmed but cutting through the unsuspecting enemy beyond it.

and

Cut the Weave
Cost: - (1m/die) Mins: Essence 3
Type: Reflexive
Keywords: None
Duration: Instant
Prerequisites: Cut the Ties
The World Divider can even sever a stray thought or a dream caught in a web. Whenever the exalt uses World Divider as part of a stunted defense against a shaping effect, or mind-affecting effect (such as a sorcerous spell or the powers of a Raksha or some charms of the exalted), they may spend 1 mote per stunt dice granted to convert them into automatic successes. If successful, the effect is destroyed in an obvious display as the essence is unraveled into dozens of cut threads.

[Daerian]

Reworked Evocations tree. Powers with changes have italics in power name.

The Talisman of Ten Thousand Eyes (****)
A phylactery of great sorcerous puissance, this talisman is wrought from rune-etched orichalcum and set with a gleaming ruby of ten facets. Each facet seems to reflect ten more within its depths, which reflect even more, creating the illusion of infinity that gives this relic its name. You have claimed the talisman as your own, using it either to initiate yourself into sorcery or as a wellspring of power to draw upon. Its ten thousand eyes are ever watchful, giving warning when malefic forces roam unchecked, and serving as a lens through which you may cast your sight or presence.
The Talisman of Ten Thousand Eyes has two Hearthstone sockets, positioned on both sides of mystical ruby.

Evocations of the Talisman of Ten Thousand Eyes
A Solar who spends 4 motes to attune to the Talisman of Ten Thousand Eyes gains Sorcerer’s Supreme Wisdom for free.

Sorcerer’s Supreme Wisdom
Cost: (0-3m) ; Mins: Essence 1
Type: Permanent
Keywords: None
Duration: Permanent
Prerequisites: None
Upon laying his hand on the ruby of her talisman, Sorcerer can perceive world by different than humans senses. Allowing her thoughts to flow thought the Talisman of Ten Thousand Eyes Sorcerer’s eschews mundane senses, seeing the world by glowing patterns of Essence. Her own Essence joins with world, becoming one with spells she casts.
All spells cast by Sorcerer while stunted as channeled through her Talisman can take on motives of her anima, representing her power and Essence understanding– for example, if her anima materializes as giant tiger, the form of Flight of Brilliant Raptor can instead become leaping tiger of flames. This is left to Sorcerer’s decision – she can always cast normal version of spells, not ones infused by her legend. If Sorcerer infuses her spells with her legend add -2 penalty to enemies’ rolls to dispel her spells and increase her spells Distortion goal by 2 to represent different, less familiar to enemies, versions of spells.
Additionally, if the Sorcerer didn’t gather any sorcerous motes in the turn, she can send her own Essence though her Talisman and use its power to stabilize her spells. She can reflexively pay up to three motes from her own Essence pool in order to not lose sorcerous motes – on one for one basis.
Comments: Removed Attributes shuffling, moved personalized spells from second Evocation her and strengthened it a little. Changed not losing sorcerous motes at all into possibility of paying for lost ones with Exalt own Essence pool.

Sorcerer’s Supreme Might
Cost: - ; Mins: Essence 1
Type: Permanent
Keywords: None
Duration: Permanent
Prerequisites: Sorcerer’s Supreme Wisdom
Upon laying his hand on the ruby of her talisman, Sorcerer can channels her energies thought it, refining her powers beyond her normal limits.
When the sorcerer takes the first shape sorcery action to begin casting a spell and stunts it with a description of how she casts the spell through the talisman or draws on its power she can commit 3m until spell is completed. If she does, all the subsequent shape sorcery actions gain one automatic non-Charm success until spell is cast. This power is specifically incompatible with Hierophant’s Eye Hearthstone.
Comments: This is variation of Hierophant’s Eye, requiring stunt to use. It lacks mote-regen given by Hearthstones and other Manse bonuses.
I personally refuse to use Hearthstone cost as real basis for power effects - I don’t really like Hearthstones in this edition, they seem far too weak for their costs. If we go with rules, 1 non-charm shape sorcery successes (with possibility of being destroyed from afar) costs... at least 50 exp. SoI have decided that I have no problems with hearthstone powers as evocations/charms/spells.

Sorcerer’s Supreme Power
Cost: - ; Mins: Essence 2
Type: Supplemental
Keywords: None
Duration: Special (one spell)
Prerequisites: Sorcerer’s Supreme Wisdom
When these that are most important to him are in danger, when darkness encroaches upon things dearest to her Sorcerer always stands firm. Upon laying her hand on the ruby of her talisman, Sorcerer channel endless energies thought it, refining her powers ever more, breaking limits on power of any sorceries.
This power can only be activated in direct support or furtherance of a Defining Intimacy, or Major or Defining Intimacy for Sorcerer’s Control spell.
When the sorcerer takes the first shape sorcery action to begin casting a spell and stunts it with a description of how she casts the spell through the talisman or draws on its power, treat the Sorcerer’s Essence rating as though it were one higher than its true value for the purpose of effect calculations. Additionally, if shaped spell has direct damage component (examples from Core: Death of Obsidian Butterflies, Flight of Brilliant Raptor, Death Ray) Sorcerer can strengthen her spell and only then cast it - by gathering more sorcerous motes. She can gather up to (2 x Essence) more sorcerous motes before casting spell. Each 2 sorcerous motes gathered add 1 dice to spell damage.
Special activation rules: This Evocation awakens at no experience cost when the Sorcerer uses her Control spell in direct support or furtherance of a Defining Intimacy.
Comment: New power based on Twice-Striking Lightning Prism.

Sorcerer’s Supreme Body
Cost: 6m ; Mins: Essence 2
Type: Simple
Keywords: None
Duration: One scene
Prerequisites: Sorcerer’s Supreme Might
As the Sorcery is language of the world and one with it, by mastering these connections Sorcerer can use her Talisman to eschew her mortal form and for time become one with the world.
This power can only be used outside of combat. For duration of this power Sorcerer can materialize and dematerialize at will and is able to always perceive spirits. She can move thought objects as if she were dematerialized spirit or pick them up as if she were material. She can interacts with dematerialized spirits when she is immaterial. However she must always declare in what state she is – she cannot for example pick material object while dematerialized and standing inside a wall. She is also cannot materialize inside any material object and is always visible to both material and immaterial beings. She can also be hit by material attacks, but they are made at -3 dice against her.
This power automatically ends if Sorcerer Joins Battle, as such violent act instantly breaks required focus. If at the time Sorcerer was dematerialized inside material object, she is removed from it and materialized next to it.
Comments: Useful, but unusable in combat, so it doesn’t obsolete Occult Charms. Added discussed clarifications.

Sorcerer’s Supreme Mind
Cost: 6m ; Mins: Essence 2
Type: Simple
Keywords: Perilous
Duration: One scene
Prerequisites: Sorcerer’s Supreme Might
Mind of Sorcerer is her greatest asset – a tool, a weapon and anything in between. By forcing her will through the ruby of her Talisman, Sorcerer is able to give his thoughts almost physical form, moving objects by her determination alone.
While this power is active, the Sorcerer may move other objects with his mind as though manipulating them with his own body, exerting force or even lifting objects and carrying them through the air at speeds up to his own current velocity. Her telekinesis trails ripples of spatial distortion as prehensile tendrils of mental force, often taking on colors of her anima. This charm uses lower of Sorcerer’s Intelligence or Dexterity and lower of her Occult or normally applicable Ability for determining dice pools and has Strength of Sorcerer’s Essence score. This power has short range. Any object or person being touched or hold by this power is considered touched or hold by Sorcerer. If Sorcerer wishes, she can concentrate this power into telekinetic knife – for example to cut ropes or candles’ knots. This power can hold up to Essence x2 inanimate items at the same time.
If no weapon or items is wielded by Sorcerer’s Supreme Mind it can be used to make close range attacks by infusing Sorcerer’s fists and body with telekinetic power and blasting concussive force with punches or kicks to use this power with Brawl ability as Light artifact weapon with Grappling and choice of Lethal or Bashing tags (this choice can be changed for every attack). It can also be used as light artifact Thrown weapon with Thrown (Close), Cutting and choice of Lethal or Bashing tags (this choice can be changed for every attack), materializing as fast and strong blasts of telekinetic force. These combat modes are compatible with Solar charms of responding Ability.
This power automatically turns of if Sorcerer suffers Initiative crash and cannot be reactivated for next three turns – all items wielded by it instantly fall to ground. Outside combat, this power automatically ends with same results if Sorcerer ever loses consciousness.
Comments: Yes, this is Mind-Hand Manipulation. I tried to balance its combat options to not allow for some problematic things, like example ranged brawl attacks.
No changes from previous version as explained before.

Sorcerer’s Supreme Soul
Cost: 5m ; Mins: Essence 3
Type: Supplemental
Keywords: Dual
Duration: One Scene
Prerequisites: Sorcerer’s Supreme Body, Sorcerer’s Supreme Mind
As the Sorcerer masters her body and mind, joining them with her Talisman and reforging her legend anew she no longer fears her enemies – as the pure force of her soul channeled through her spells shield her body from charm. This power materialize as semitransparent sphere around Sorcerer, often marked by hues of her anima.
When Sorcerer is taking shaping sorcery action she can activate this power and then gains (Occult + Intelligence + Essence/2, rounded down) soak until her spell is cast. This effect doesn’t stack with other magic or armor – use only the higher value. Against decisive attacks, this Evocation provides (Essence+1) hardness or, if Sorcerer has Twilight anima power active, adds 2 to its power.
After spell is cast, this effect lingers until sorcerer’s next turn and then subside to return when Sorcerer takes her next Shape Sorcery action in turn.
Comments: After changes it pretty much gives Sorcerer artificial full plate armor while she is casting spells. She cannot boost it further and loses her protection as she stops casting, which makes it still weaker than armored and/or Resistance using warrior.
It’s stronger in Twilights hands which is in my opinion good idea – at this moment, there is pretty much nothing that makes Twilights better sorcerers than other Castes.

The Ancient One
Cost: - ; Mins: Essence 3
Type: Permanent
Keywords: None
Duration: Permanent
Prerequisites: Sorcerer’s Supreme Soul, Celestial Circle Sorcery
The cosmic power of Sorcerer grows together with her Talisman, while previous limits never chain her again. By using her knowledge of higher Sorceries and refining her powers thought Talisman, she becomes one with her magic.
By paying additional point of willpower and doubling spell cost Sorcerer can cast all Terrestial Circle spells she knows with added spell special bonuses as if they were her Control spells. However, she doesn’t gain any additional special effects modifying her Control spell cast (for example, shaping rituals consider them normal, not Control spells) – such spells aren’t considered Control spells for any other bonuses except spell own Control bonus.
Upon learning Solar Circle this Evocation allows casting Celestial Circle spells as Control spells for 1 more willpower and tripled sorcerous motes cost.
Comments: This is powerful effect for some spells, but Control spells are still not as powerful as next Circle spells usually, so I think it should be balanced. Don’t use this Evocation however if there are more than one dedicated Sorcerer in party, as this will decrease their uniqueness.
No changes from previous version.

[Myradmir]

The Fallen World(Soulsteel Direlash, with all other magical materials in some amount) Artifact (N/A?) - Because balancing is hard.

This is a cat-of-nine-tails, forged of Soulsteel. In each of the nine tails are spheres of other magical materials, orichalcum and moonsilver preceded by the 5 forms of jade in different orders. The tails are bound together by leather made from human skin, marked with enchantments and dark secrets. At the very end is a small chain of Starmetal which ends in a clasp shaped like a skeletal hand, made to hold a Hearthstone.

The tales surrounding the Fallen World are terrible. It is claimed that it was forged from 10,000 souls, cooled in the blood of 100,000 men/women/children/virgins and that the forge fires were fed with living bodies and ghosts in equal amounts, both beyond counting. Made in the First Age, it is unknown how much of this is Immaculate Propaganda, but all sources agree that it was lost during the Low First Age, falling into a Shadowland somewhere in the South-West.

Records also show that it was only ever used in 3 battles. Once against a Behemoth from the Wyld, where it was said the Fallen World ate the creature so completely that its traits are gone from memory. In the next battle the following was recorded:

And lo, a creature did eclipse the sky, beyond form and sanity, beyond knowing. King Marid faces the shadow of the Fallen World, and a thousand of his men lie dead around him. Alas, King, it is your time! Woe, woe unto the house of Marid, for this day your greatest scion perishes! Weep, and hide your faces from the shadows of the Fallen World! Flee its fire, and hungry grasp, for your king is dead at last.

The precise events of the third battle are mostly unknown. What is known is that there used to be an island where it was fought, which vanished off the maps well before the contagion and subsequent invasion.

A Solar or Abyssal who attunes this artifact is immune to the effects of its evocations unless otherwise stated.

Wrath of the Fallen Dragons
Cost: 10m ; Mins: Essence 3
Type: Reflexive
Keywords: None
Duration: Instant
Prerequisites: None

Lashing out with the Fallen World, the wielder directs a stream of elemental energy, twisted and tainted by the forces of oblivion towards an enemy. The stream moves two range bands per round, is two range bands wide and has the form of any appropriate elemental hazard, such as a tidal wave of blood or a silent storm of black wind. Either way, the hazard fades away once its centre reaches the first extreme range band from where it was launched, leaving devastation in its wake. The streams have the following statistics: 6l/Round, difficulty 6. The wielder may summon no more than (Essence) such streams and they must all take different shape.

The World in Shadow
Cost: 10m+ ; Mins: Essence 3
Type: Simple
Keywords: None
Duration: Instant
Prerequisites: None

Drawing on the darkness within the whip, the wielder strikes at the sun, or the moon and stars, plunging everywhere within medium range into absolute darkness. Even sound is muffled. A short instant later, a halo of red light appears above, where the Sun or Moon would be. Any significant character who looks at the halo is blinded for 1 turn, and the wielder of the whips may reflexively attempt to intimidate them. If any number of insignificant characters look up, they are merely blinded for a turn. The darkness last for 10 minutes and the wielder may pay 1m to extend this period by another minute.

Palace of the Fallen Dragons
Cost: 5m, 10sm, 1hl+ ; Mins: Essence 4
Type: Simple
Keywords: Perilous
Duration: While the World in Shadow is in effect.
Prerequisites: Wrath of the Fallen Dragons, The World in Shadow

The wielder, having plunged the world into darkness with the prerequisite, makes an offering to the Fallen World, grappling another significant character with the whip. This grapple attempt enjoys double 9s throughout. He must then savage the target with a decisive attack, which enjoys double 10s. He must cause at least one lethal health level of damage or else the whip will simply drain the life energy out of him, dealing one level of aggravated damage to him. For every lethal damage dealt this way, the character gains 2 sorcerous motes towards the cost of this charm. If he is dealt an aggravated health level by the whip instead, he gains 5sm. The evocation allows for a reflexive Shape Sorcery action if he doesn't meet the cost in one action. Otherwise, it fails.

If the offering succeeds, the darkness bulges, and then spreads out to Long Range. Windows appear, and fill the area with harsh white light, before the darkness changes slightly to accommodate the coming horror. For example, a Bone Dragon would create pillars of ephemeral bone and the like. One of the Fallen Dragon is made manifest, twisting out of the darkness. Any battle groups capable of fear within the zone immediately make a rout check. Any insignificant characters not in a battle group must immediately flee. Any significant characters are subject to an intimidation effect of 7 automatic successes.

The dragon is treated as a battlegroup with the following statistics: Size 5, Elite Drill, Might 3, Magnitude 20, Initiative 20 and can attack anyone within the World in Shadow. It has a basic dice-pool of 10 dice for all actions and floats at medium range above ground. Every time the dragons magnitude track empties, it sheds the damaged part of its body. Treat the resulting environmental hazard as an Acid Bath. Beyond being directed at certain targets, the dragon cannot be commanded. If the dragon fails a rout check it immediately sheds its corporal form, unleashing (Size) environmental hazards centered on (Size) points within the World in Shadow.

Example
Perpetual Maelstorm, Dragon of Blood
Defense 10
Soak 15
Attack Roll(Rain of frozen blood, missiles of bloody red lightning etc.) 18 dice (15 damage)
Rout: 12 dice

Maintaining the evocation requires that the initiator take an action which is functionally identical to a Shape Sorcery Action against a difficulty of 3. If he fails the roll, he immediately becomes the Fallen Dragons only target.

Blacken the Heavens
Cost: - ; Mins: Essence 4
Type: Permanent
Keywords: None
Duration: Permanent
Prerequisites: Palace of the Fallen Dragons

This Evocation enhances Wrath of the Fallen Dragons, allowing the wielder to incorporate Celestial themes rather than elemental ones and increases the severity of the environmental hazard, increasing the difficulty to 12. It now traverses only 1 range band per round, and is 1 range band wider, covering out to medium range from the centre. The wielder may also summon up to Essence/2, round down such storms at a time.

Scorch the Shadowed Earth
Cost: - ; Mins: Essence 5
Type: Permanent
Keywords: None
Duration: Permanent
Prerequisites: Blacken the Heavens

This evocation enhanced the World in Shadow. Now upon activation, all plant life in the area immediately dies and the wielder may cause any structure he can see to crumble to dust by spending 1 willpower. Furthermore, the World in Shadow is treated as a Shadowland for all purposes. The basic area expands out to long range, and Palace of Fallen Dragons now expands out to the first Extreme Range Band.

Advent of the Fallen World
Cost: 20m, 5wp, 3a ; Mins: Essence 5(6+ in games where 6+ is allowed)
Type: Simple
Keywords: Aggravated
Duration: Scene
Prerequisite: Scorch the Earth

The wielder must have summoned at least 5 different storms, at least one of which must have a Celestial aspect(Solar, Lunar or Sidereal) matching the time of day and none contrary to the time of day. That is, one may not summon a torrent of dull red solar fire at night and activate this charm, for example.

Upon activating this evocation, the character's anima blasts outwards, tearing through the surroundings and consuming the storms, creating a moment of perfect silence, as the world draws its breath. Then, it screams, rejecting that land which the Wrath of the Fallen dragons has affected. The land is torn into pieces and hurled skywards, up to long range, along with anyone living on them as purifying essence from the centre of creation streams forth to cleanse it of corruption. This storm of essence returns the land to its primal state but as those affected by this charm fall from the sky, black corruption comes pouring down with them, tainting the ground anew and infecting the wounds of anyone who managed to survive so that they do not heal. The falling damage counts as damage dealt by this charm for the purposes of the Aggravated Keyword.

[The Unsung Hero]

Here is my first try at an Artifact. This is an 'upgraded' version of the 2ed Perfected Boots for one of my PCs that is being converted from our 2ed game.

Ooo, I always liked those boots.

Evocations of Dragon Treads to Victory

A Solar or Dragonblood who attunes to Dragon Treads to Victory will find the boots to always be a precise fit to the wearer’s feet. In addition, their magic keeps the wearer’s feet dry, cool and perfectly cushioned in addition to putting some bounce into the wearer’s movement. Dragon Treads to Victory costs 3 motes to attune. Once attuned they reduce fatigue penalties from walking or marching by 2 and armor mobility penalties by 1.

Solid start.

Movement from Nothing

Cost: 3m Mins: Essence 1
Type: Supplemental
Keywords: None
Duration: Instant
Prerequisites: None

A prince of the Shogunate can shift from stillness to lethal purpose whenever called, even when fatigued.

Movement from Nothing supplements a move, dash or disengage action, allowing the user to add an additional range band to the distance covered. This can only be done if the user did not significantly change position (a change of position of more than a range band) on their previous action.

The dash or disengage is a very interesting mechanic and I dig it personally. The thing that makes it so is the fact that the movement happens under certain circumstances, not immediately. However, adding an extra space to a movement action is very good and 3m feels kind of cheap for it. I have no compared it against solar charms, so I could be talking out my ass for this, but I feel like if you want to add it to a movement action, it needs to cost as much or higher than the per round mote drip (5m) so you can't just move faster for free every other round. (but then gain, every other round might be enough of a limitation. Someone else might need to weigh in on this one)

Bogg Bows to the Dragon

Cost: 2m Mins: Essence 1
Type: Supplemental
Keywords: None
Duration: One round
Prerequisites: None

Even the worst terrain knows not to obstruct the wearer in the course of their march.

Bogg Bows to the Dragon allows the wearer to ignore difficult terrain penalties until their next action. Difficult terrain penalties can only be ignored if they primarily impede the wearer by affecting the feet or legs while one is trying to travel through that terrain. For example, Bogg Bows to the Dragon would prevent the wearer from being impeded when trying to cross deep mud, slick ice or a caltrop strewn battlefield, but would not help if the difficult terrain penalty is the result of high winds or grasping underbrush.

My only concern with this evocation is that it's Supplemental, but you don't state what action it supplements. There are a lot of actions that are affected by difficult terrain, and it might be better made as a Reflexive. Otherwise, you need to associate it with a specific (or list of) action(s).

Dragon Masters the Bogg

Cost: (+4m) Mins: Essence 2
Type: Reflexive
Keywords: None
Duration: Scene
Prerequisites: Bogg Bows to the Dragon

Continued use of Dragon Treads to Victory teaches the wearer not to fear delay when dealing with difficult ground.

Dragon Masters the Bogg upgrades Bogg Bows to the Dragon giving it a scene long duration.

Fine by me.

Distance from Nothing

Cost: 6m, 1wp (+2m/companion) Mins: Essence 3
Type: Simple
Keywords: None
Duration: Instant
Prerequisites: Movement from Nothing, Bogg Bows to the Dragon

Being at the right place at the right time can make or break a military campaign. Dragon Treads to Victory allows its wielder the ability to make up distance on a march from nothing by allow it wielder to step leagues at a stride.

Distance from Nothing allows the wearer to move from one location to another with a single step. The destination must be outdoors and no further than (wearer’s essence * 2) miles apart. In addition, the wearer must be able to see their destination clearly or pinpoint it on an accurate map.

The wearer may bring with them up to (wearer’s essence) of willing companions at a cost of an additional 2 motes each. These companions must be in contact with the wearer and must not impede their ability to take a full stride forward.

I admit, this is kind of a startlingly huge step in power from the previous evocations. It's actually cool design space, it's just kind of jarring to be small bonus, small bonus, extention of small bonus, able to traverse 6+ miles in a step and bring friends. I keep mulling it over and can't think of anything mechanically wrong with it, so good on you I suppose. Just a big jump.

Overall, I like the direction you took it, and applaud you making a non-weaponized artifact.

[The Unsung Hero]

Reworked Evocations tree. Powers with changes have italics in power name.

The Talisman of Ten Thousand Eyes (****)

I like the changes. Solid.

[The Unsung Hero]

The Fallen World(Soulsteel Direlash, with all other magical materials in some amount) Artifact (N/A?) - Because balancing is hard.

Yikes, N/A? I don't think anyone will really be able to give you solid balance advice since we don't yet have any published examples of N/A artifacts, but I'll see what impressions I get here.

Wrath of the Fallen Dragons
Cost: 10m ; Mins: Essence 3
Type: Reflexive
Keywords: None
Duration: Instant
Prerequisites: None

Lashing out with the Fallen World, the wielder directs a stream of elemental energy, twisted and tainted by the forces of oblivion towards an enemy. The stream moves two range bands per round, is two range bands wide and has the form of any appropriate elemental hazard, such as a tidal wave of blood or a silent storm of black wind. Either way, the hazard fades away once its centre reaches the first extreme range band from where it was launched, leaving devastation in its wake. The streams have the following statistics: 6l/Round, difficulty 6. The wielder may summon no more than (Essence) such streams and they must all take different shape.

Opening with difficulty 6 is definitely obscenely powerful. That is not going to be easy to avoid. I assume that says 6 initiative per round and not 6 lethal? Hard to tell if it's a capitalized "i" or a lowercase "L"

The World in Shadow
Cost: 10m+ ; Mins: Essence 3
Type: Simple
Keywords: None
Duration: Instant
Prerequisites: None

Drawing on the darkness within the whip, the wielder strikes at the sun, or the moon and stars, plunging everywhere within medium range into absolute darkness. Even sound is muffled. A short instant later, a halo of red light appears above, where the Sun or Moon would be. Any significant character who looks at the halo is blinded for 1 turn, and the wielder of the whips may reflexively attempt to intimidate them. If any number of insignificant characters look up, they are merely blinded for a turn. The darkness last for 10 minutes and the wielder may pay 1m to extend this period by another minute.

So you have no mechanics for representing whether someone looks at it or not. Foes could just choose not to, even at player fiat, and then it does nothing.

Palace of the Fallen Dragons
Cost: 5m, 10sm, 1hl+ ; Mins: Essence 4
Type: Simple
Keywords: Perilous
Duration: While the World in Shadow is in effect.
Prerequisites: Wrath of the Fallen Dragons, The World in Shadow

The wielder, having plunged the world into darkness with the prerequisite, makes an offering to the Fallen World, grappling another significant character with the whip. This grapple attempt enjoys double 9s throughout. He must then savage the target with a decisive attack, which enjoys double 10s. He must cause at least one lethal health level of damage or else the whip will simply drain the life energy out of him, dealing one level of aggravated damage to him. For every lethal damage dealt this way, the character gains 2 sorcerous motes towards the cost of this charm. If he is dealt an aggravated health level by the whip instead, he gains 5sm. The evocation allows for a reflexive Shape Sorcery action if he doesn't meet the cost in one action. Otherwise, it fails.

If the offering succeeds, the darkness bulges, and then spreads out to Long Range. Windows appear, and fill the area with harsh white light, before the darkness changes slightly to accommodate the coming horror. For example, a Bone Dragon would create pillars of ephemeral bone and the like. One of the Fallen Dragon is made manifest, twisting out of the darkness. Any battle groups capable of fear within the zone immediately make a rout check. Any insignificant characters not in a battle group must immediately flee. Any significant characters are subject to an intimidation effect of 7 automatic successes.

The dragon is treated as a battlegroup with the following statistics: Size 5, Elite Drill, Might 3, Magnitude 20, Initiative 20 and can attack anyone within the World in Shadow. It has a basic dice-pool of 10 dice for all actions and floats at medium range above ground. Every time the dragons magnitude track empties, it sheds the damaged part of its body. Treat the resulting environmental hazard as an Acid Bath. Beyond being directed at certain targets, the dragon cannot be commanded. If the dragon fails a rout check it immediately sheds its corporal form, unleashing (Size) environmental hazards centered on (Size) points within the World in Shadow.

Example
Perpetual Maelstorm, Dragon of Blood
Defense 10
Soak 15
Attack Roll(Rain of frozen blood, missiles of bloody red lightning etc.) 18 dice (15 damage)
Rout: 12 dice

Maintaining the evocation requires that the initiator take an action which is functionally identical to a Shape Sorcery Action against a difficulty of 3. If he fails the roll, he immediately becomes the Fallen Dragons only target.

This evocation is absolutely gonzo. You have so many effects going on in here, I'm not even sure how it would work. It states a cost of motes and sorcerous motes and a health level, but you gather the sm cost AFTER activating the base evocation. And frankly, who cares about summoning the dragon at all! I have double 9's on all rolls of my grapple, and double 10's on a decisive savage. My poor victim is going to be dead before I ever pull that dragon out and it only cost me a health level and 5m. Who needs a dragon at that point?

I see the direction you're going with this, but mechanically it's all over the place. This feels like 2 evocations at once: the grapple and the dragon summoning. I'd make them 2 (and tone down the grapple a bit, yikes!)

Blacken the Heavens
Cost: - ; Mins: Essence 4
Type: Permanent
Keywords: None
Duration: Permanent
Prerequisites: Palace of the Fallen Dragons

This Evocation enhances Wrath of the Fallen Dragons, allowing the wielder to incorporate Celestial themes rather than elemental ones and increases the severity of the environmental hazard, increasing the difficulty to 12. It now traverses only 1 range band per round, and is 1 range band wider, covering out to medium range from the centre. The wielder may also summon up to Essence/2, round down such storms at a time.

Difficulty 12 environmental hazard, goodbye all foes. I don't even know how you beat that.

Scorch the Shadowed Earth
Cost: - ; Mins: Essence 5
Type: Permanent
Keywords: None
Duration: Permanent
Prerequisites: Blacken the Heavens

This evocation enhanced the World in Shadow. Now upon activation, all plant life in the area immediately dies and the wielder may cause any structure he can see to crumble to dust by spending 1 willpower. Furthermore, the World in Shadow is treated as a Shadowland for all purposes. The basic area expands out to long range, and Palace of Fallen Dragons now expands out to the first Extreme Range Band.

Auto-kill palaces and manses, unavoidable environmental hazard as far as the eye can see. You ain't kidding about artifact N/A man.

Advent of the Fallen World
Cost: 20m, 5wp, 3a ; Mins: Essence 5(6+ in games where 6+ is allowed)
Type: Simple
Keywords: Aggravated
Duration: Scene
Prerequisite: Scorch the Earth

The wielder must have summoned at least 5 different storms, at least one of which must have a Celestial aspect(Solar, Lunar or Sidereal) matching the time of day and none contrary to the time of day. That is, one may not summon a torrent of dull red solar fire at night and activate this charm, for example.

Upon activating this evocation, the character's anima blasts outwards, tearing through the surroundings and consuming the storms, creating a moment of perfect silence, as the world draws its breath. Then, it screams, rejecting that land which the Wrath of the Fallen dragons has affected. The land is torn into pieces and hurled skywards, up to long range, along with anyone living on them as purifying essence from the centre of creation streams forth to cleanse it of corruption. This storm of essence returns the land to its primal state but as those affected by this charm fall from the sky, black corruption comes pouring down with them, tainting the ground anew and infecting the wounds of anyone who managed to survive so that they do not heal. The falling damage counts as damage dealt by this charm for the purposes of the Aggravated Keyword.

While this feels like an appropriately huge capstone for an artifact N/A, I'm trying to envision the army of foes that has survived long enough to NEED this, considering you need 5 different storms.

All I can give is impressions, because maybe artifact n/a really is "insta-kill the world" powerful. But my impression is, anyone at Essence 5 who has this can kill deathlords without a lot of struggle. Just my thoughts. Very evocative though, and I like the flavor of it. I've never seen a cat of 9 tails written up before and that's cool.

[Brennanhawkwood]

Thank you for the feedback!

The dash or disengage is a very interesting mechanic and I dig it personally. The thing that makes it so is the fact that the movement happens under certain circumstances, not immediately. However, adding an extra space to a movement action is very good and 3m feels kind of cheap for it. I have no compared it against solar charms, so I could be talking out my ass for this, but I feel like if you want to add it to a movement action, it needs to cost as much or higher than the per round mote drip (5m) so you can't just move faster for free every other round. (but then gain, every other round might be enough of a limitation. Someone else might need to weigh in on this one)

That makes sense. Barring other feedback, I'll increase the cost to 5m and see how it works out in play:

My only concern with this evocation is that it's Supplemental, but you don't state what action it supplements. There are a lot of actions that are affected by difficult terrain, and it might be better made as a Reflexive. Otherwise, you need to associate it with a specific (or list of) action(s).

Excellent point on the type, and one I'll keep in mind for supplemental charms/evocations that I built in the future. I have changed it to Reflexive.

I admit, this is kind of a startlingly huge step in power from the previous evocations. It's actually cool design space, it's just kind of jarring to be small bonus, small bonus, extention of small bonus, able to traverse 6+ miles in a step and bring friends. I keep mulling it over and can't think of anything mechanically wrong with it, so good on you I suppose. Just a big jump.

Overall, I like the direction you took it, and applaud you making a non-weaponized artifact.

Thanks!

Looking at Distance from Nothing again I can see what you are saying about the jump in scale. When I started writing up this artifact I originally had it as a two dot artifact with only the listed non-evocation attunement benefits. Then the idea of 'seven-league boots' came to mind so I wrote that up as a cool high level evocation. I know I had a bit of a hard time coming up with interesting effects for lower essence evocations that fit the theme but weren't just copies of solar charms so I am not surprised I ended up with a too big a scale difference in there.

Below is an updated version of the artifact with the changes mentioned and a toned down Distance from Nothing. I reducing the distance traveled with each activation, dropped the ability to bring friends (which was mostly there to help keep my PCs together) and added some limitations to its use in combat. See if those changes make the power jump a little less jarring.


Dragon Treads to Victory (Red/Blue Jade Artifact Boots ***)

Dragon Treads to Victory are a pair of lightly armored artifact military boots which were crafted by a Shogunate-era dragonblooded infantry officer after suffering through a prolonged and gruelling campaign,. They leverage the mystical characteristics of the Red and Blue Jade incorporated into their construction to provide enhanced mobility and to offset the effects of fatigue resulting from spending long periods of time on the march.

Evocations of Dragon Treads to Victory

A Solar or Dragonblood who attunes to Dragon Treads to Victory will find the boots to always be a precise fit to the wearer’s feet. In addition, their magic keeps the wearer’s feet dry, cool and perfectly cushioned in addition to putting some bounce into the wearer’s movement. Dragon Treads to Victory costs 3 motes to attune. Once attuned they reduce fatigue penalties from walking or marching by 2 and armor mobility penalties by 1.

Movement from Nothing

Cost: 5m Mins: Essence 1
Type: Supplemental
Keywords: None
Duration: Instant
Prerequisites: None

A prince of the Shogunate can shift from stillness to lethal purpose whenever called, even when fatigued.

Movement from Nothing supplements a move, dash or disengage action, allowing the user to add an additional range band to the distance covered. This can only be done if the user did not significantly change position (a change of position of more than a range band) on their previous action.

Bog Bows to the Dragon

Cost: 2m Mins: Essence 1
Type: Reflexive
Keywords: None
Duration: One round
Prerequisites: None

Even the worst terrain knows not to obstruct the wearer in the course of their march.

Bogg Bows to the Dragon allows the wearer to ignore difficult terrain penalties until their next action. Difficult terrain penalties can only be ignored if they primarily impede the wearer by affecting the feet or legs while one is trying to travel through that terrain. For example, Bogg Bows to the Dragon would prevent the wearer from being impeded when trying to cross deep mud, slick ice or a caltrop strewn battlefield, but would not help if the difficult terrain penalty is the result of high winds or grasping underbrush.

Dragon Masters the Bog

Cost: (+4m) Mins: Essence 2
Type: Reflexive
Keywords: None
Duration: Scene
Prerequisites: Bogg Bows to the Dragon

Continued use of Dragon Treads to Victory teaches the wearer not to fear delay when dealing with difficult ground.

Dragon Masters the Bogg upgrades Bogg Bows to the Dragon giving it a scene long duration.

Distance from Nothing

Cost: 6m, 1wp Mins: Essence 3
Type: Simple
Keywords: Perilous
Duration: Instant
Prerequisites: Movement from Nothing, Bogg Bows to the Dragon

Being at the right place at the right time can make or break a military campaign. Dragon Treads to Victory allows its wielder the ability to make up distance on a march from nothing by allow it wielder to step leagues at a stride.

Distance from Nothing allows the wearer to move from one location to another with a single step. The destination must be outdoors and no further than (wearer’s essence) miles distant. The wearer must be able to see their destination clearly or pinpoint it on an accurate map. In addition, due to having to focus on where the wearer is attempting to go, they cannot use Distance from Nothing if they are in Initiative Crash or at close range with one or more hostile opponents.

[The Unsung Hero]

Below is an updated version of the artifact with the changes mentioned and a toned down Distance from Nothing. I reducing the distance traveled with each activation, dropped the ability to bring friends (which was mostly there to help keep my PCs together) and added some limitations to its use in combat. See if those changes make the power jump a little less jarring.

Approved. IWATAMT (I am declaring this as a new acronym. I Would Allow This At My Table. Alternately shortened to just IWAT)

[Myradmir]

Yikes, N/A? I don't think anyone will really be able to give you solid balance advice since we don't yet have any published examples of N/A artifacts, but I'll see what impressions I get here.



Opening with difficulty 6 is definitely obscenely powerful. That is not going to be easy to avoid. I assume that says 6 initiative per round and not 6 lethal? Hard to tell if it's a capitalized "i" or a lowercase "L"



So you have no mechanics for representing whether someone looks at it or not. Foes could just choose not to, even at player fiat, and then it does nothing.



This evocation is absolutely gonzo. You have so many effects going on in here, I'm not even sure how it would work. It states a cost of motes and sorcerous motes and a health level, but you gather the sm cost AFTER activating the base evocation. And frankly, who cares about summoning the dragon at all! I have double 9's on all rolls of my grapple, and double 10's on a decisive savage. My poor victim is going to be dead before I ever pull that dragon out and it only cost me a health level and 5m. Who needs a dragon at that point?

I see the direction you're going with this, but mechanically it's all over the place. This feels like 2 evocations at once: the grapple and the dragon summoning. I'd make them 2 (and tone down the grapple a bit, yikes!)



Difficulty 12 environmental hazard, goodbye all foes. I don't even know how you beat that.



Auto-kill palaces and manses, unavoidable environmental hazard as far as the eye can see. You ain't kidding about artifact N/A man.



While this feels like an appropriately huge capstone for an artifact N/A, I'm trying to envision the army of foes that has survived long enough to NEED this, considering you need 5 different storms.

All I can give is impressions, because maybe artifact n/a really is "insta-kill the world" powerful. But my impression is, anyone at Essence 5 who has this can kill deathlords without a lot of struggle. Just my thoughts. Very evocative though, and I like the flavor of it. I've never seen a cat of 9 tails written up before and that's cool.

Thank you. So the only issue is the grapple/dragon summon thing... I shall ponder it. As for 'killing deathlords without a lot of struggle', they most assuredly have Artifact N/As of their own, as well as armies that might simply be unnaffected by the storms which would make it a tad more difficult and less efficient. At least, I seem to have made an Artifact N/A, which was the point of the exercise. Now to somehow scale this all down to something that any sane ST would actually allow at their table if they're not running an E6+ campaign...

[grassWatcher]

This is my first attempt at a Exalted 3E artifact. I'm honestly disappointed that, once again, the core book lacks any sort of guidance on creating our own charms and artifacts. With that said I am following The Unsung Hero's amazing guide in this attempt. What started as an attempt to have an evocation to take at character creation for a solo game I plan on playing kinda snowballed as I went. Thus, if possible, I would like some help making sure this comes out balanced, as I think I'm leaning towards overpowered. Rather than just list what I currently have I have gone through Hero's guide step by step, trying to give y'all an idea of what I'm trying to make.


1. The Base: What am I making?

Either a pair of short daiklaves or light armor cloak; I am going for a Batmanesque character, and while I plan to have said character use short daiklaves eventually, a cloak better fits the imagery I had in mind for the artifact. If you've seen the Harry Potter movies, think the Death Eaters in the Department of Mysteries or Snape fleeing from Mcgonagall in the Seventh (Part 2, I believe). Basically imagine black, shadowy mist/smoke cloaking the wielder/wearer as they move around the battlefeild.


2. The Concept: Why is it special?

Hides wielder/wearer for ambushes in combat


3. The Materials: What is it made of?

Short daiklaves: Orichalcum and Soulsteel; I imagined an Orichalcum center flanked by Soulsteel edges, with Soulsteel designs "woven" over the Orichalcum, connecting the two Soulsteel edges
Cloak: High quality dark grey fabric with strands of Soulsteel woven within it. As Ventinari says, black stands out, so go with dark grey!


4. The Name: Now what do I call it?

Ran "Ambush Shadow" through the greatest Exalted naming tool of all time and got Lurking Shade, which works for either the daiklaves or the cloak


5. Attunement: What do *Insert Exalt here* get out of it?

As this is for a Solar I am making, I only really care about them, though I assume Abyssals would get the same or similar bonuses, thanks to the Soulsteel. I am thinking either a boost to Stealth of 1-2 points, though that may be overpowered with the Evocations I have and seems to be non-standard with most other artifacts, or simply giving one of the two base Evocations for free, but that seems like a cop out.


6. Evocations: High-Level!

At first I was going to go with standard Stealth and disengage/withdraw boosters, but after looking at the Stealth Charms and looking over the combat rules I decided on:

1. "Add" Stealth to Evasion
2. "Add" Stealth to Accuracy
3. Add an atempt to reestablish stealth to a successful defense
4. Turn a surprise attack into an ambush
5. Counterattack, with a reestablish stealth check to make it an ambush


7 & 8. Formatting & Mechanics: The Icing & The Meat

Nothing but Shadows
Cost: 2m per Ev Mins: Essence 1
Type: Reflexive
Keywords: None
Duration: Instant
Prerequisites: None

Add up to Stealth/2, rounded up, to Evasion


Sundering Umbra
Cost: 2m per die Mins: Essence 1
Type: Supplemental
Keywords: Uniform
Duration: Instant
Prerequisites: None

Add up to Stealth dice to any attack roll


Fading Specter
Cost: 3m, 1w Mins: Essence 3
Type: Reflexive
Keywords: Perilous
Duration: Instant
Prerequisites: Nothing but Shadows

After a successful defense you may make a contested roll to reestablish stealth (see page 203 of the Core book for Stealth in combat)


Confusing Darkness
Cost: 6m Mins: Essence 3
Type: Supplemental
Keywords: Uniform (not sure, maybe Decisive-Only)
Duration: Instant
Prerequisites: Sundering Umbra

Turn a surprise attack into an ambush


Deceptive Reversal
Cost: 6m, 1w Mins: Essence 5
Type: Reflexive
Keywords: Counterattack, Decisive-Only
Duration: Instant

Gain a decisive counterattack


9. Backstory: Tie it all together

...I'm really kinda mediocre at this. I can get a vague idea of what I want an artifact to look like (see 1 and 3), and maybe a vague idea of "was used by some awesome Solar in the first age" type story. Possibly something with ghosts (Fading Specter was thesaurused out of Vanishing Ghost, and it's name is "Lurking Shade").

10. Editing: Do it

And that's why I'm posting this here. To follow the guide:

Does it read well? ...nope. Not at all. I will be making an attempt at fluff once the mechanics are more hammered out.

Do the mechanics make sense? I feel so. I looked through the Stealth Charms and found that there was a nice hole of the "add Stealth to combat stats" variety, so I used that as my two base evocations. As for the others, reestablishing stealth is normally a simple combat action, so I thought adding a willpower cost to Fading Specter may balance that. I made Confusing Darkness more expensive because in normal combat you can only make a surprise attack from stealth, and ambush normally requires them to be unaware that combat may start. As for Deceptive Reversal, I want it to be "counterattack ambush", but that effect is produced by chaining Deceptive Reversal, Fading Specter, and Confusing Darkness. However, 15m, 2w seems really expensive. Should I simply add a free activation of Fading Specter and Confusing Darkness into Deceptive Reversal and make it 10m, 1w? Or is 15m, 2w balanced and I'm just trying to make my character overpowered? Or should I make Deceptive Reversal the same "level" as Fading Specter and Confusing Darkness, requiring both Nothing but Shadows and Sundering Umbra, and make a sixth capstone evocation that allows the use of all three throughout a scene (with a cost of about 25m, 3w which is adding 10m, 1w to the cost of all of them together)? As awesome as that sounds, it's also starting to sound REALLY overpowered.

Does it flow from evocation to evocation? I think so, I tried to make the prerequisites line up into "defense" and "offense" paths (though short ones). My only fear is that I am not really following a theme and more going "how do I want to boost my character next?" =/

Does your attunement bonus jive with your artifact or is it just arbitrary? It feels really arbitrary =( The Stealth boost is both A.) lazy and B.) seems overpowered, because it is boosting the usefulness of the first three evocations by 1-2 points. The other option (pick either Nothing but Shadows or Sundering Umbra for free) feels like a cop out. It feels like there should be something I can do with this artifact beyond that.

Does your theme call for some special rule to learn some of the evocations? Not really. Some sort of progression through them beyond "and my character gains the next evocation" at level up would be cool, but IDK.

Is it cool enough that YOU would use it? Well, seeing how this is an attempt to make an artifact to use with a character I'm making, yes =)


Final comments/questions

What artifact rank should this be? I started with the intent of making a three dot artifact, but the evocations kinda got away from me. While I would prefer to keep it at three, I see no reason to sacrifice awesomeness (especially that new capstone idea, if y'all don't think it's too insanely overpowered) for the sake of a couple dots. Also, if I do go with a cloak, does anyone have any ideas for the short daiklaves I described? I really like the idea I have for the blade, and honestly would prefer them if the theme/imagery didn't feel more inline with a cloak. Regardless, thank you anyone who made it this far, and thank you in advanced to anyone who decides to respond to this post. Finally, if anyone wants to steal stuff for their own artifacts, then feel free.

[The Unsung Hero]

This is my first attempt at a Exalted 3E artifact. I'm honestly disappointed that, once again, the core book lacks any sort of guidance on creating our own charms and artifacts. With that said I am following The Unsung Hero's amazing guide in this attempt. What started as an attempt to have an evocation to take at character creation for a solo game I plan on playing kinda snowballed as I went. Thus, if possible, I would like some help making sure this comes out balanced, as I think I'm leaning towards overpowered. Rather than just list what I currently have I have gone through Hero's guide step by step, trying to give y'all an idea of what I'm trying to make.

*blush* I'm flattered! Good luck!

After reading it over, I actually feel a lot more that the Cloak fits your descriptors than the weapons. Either works fine, but the cloak spoke to me more. (Note, this might be my bias about magic swords. There's so many magic swords that I'm automatically drawn to magic anything-else. Doesn't make swords a bad idea, just takes more to hook me personally)

5. Attunement: What do *Insert Exalt here* get out of it?

As this is for a Solar I am making, I only really care about them, though I assume Abyssals would get the same or similar bonuses, thanks to the Soulsteel. I am thinking either a boost to Stealth of 1-2 points, though that may be overpowered with the Evocations I have and seems to be non-standard with most other artifacts, or simply giving one of the two base Evocations for free, but that seems like a cop out.

There's nothing wrong with a simple automatic success on stealth, say while standing in shadows or even a bonus to hiding items on your person (in the case of a cloak) for a mere 1 point.

7 & 8. Formatting & Mechanics: The Icing & The Meat

Nothing but Shadows
Cost: 2m per Ev Mins: Essence 1
Type: Reflexive
Keywords: None
Duration: Instant
Prerequisites: None

Add up to Stealth/2, rounded up, to Evasion

As it stands, this evocation is no different than having a dodge excellency, except you're using stealth. I suppose you could have a character with a lower dodge than stealth, then it works out, but I could also envision a character not seeing value in this. Also, if you go with swords, adding to evasion feels off, as opposed to having parry.

Sundering Umbra
Cost: 2m per die Mins: Essence 1
Type: Supplemental
Keywords: Uniform
Duration: Instant
Prerequisites: None

Add up to Stealth dice to any attack roll

Again with similarity to excellency, except now it's twice as expensive. It's only 1m per die with an excellency. Don't forget for all these things, they still interact with the same die-cap system. You can't add it all together.

Fading Specter
Cost: 3m, 1w Mins: Essence 3
Type: Reflexive
Keywords: Perilous
Duration: Instant
Prerequisites: Nothing but Shadows

After a successful defense you may make a contested roll to reestablish stealth (see page 203 of the Core book for Stealth in combat)

This is a good one. I like it.

Confusing Darkness
Cost: 6m Mins: Essence 3
Type: Supplemental
Keywords: Uniform (not sure, maybe Decisive-Only)
Duration: Instant
Prerequisites: Sundering Umbra

Turn a surprise attack into an ambush

This feels like a capstone, and it should probably have a willpower and be once a scene (with maybe a difficult reset condition). Attacking from Ambush is AMAZINGLY good, and can outright murder a dude. Being able to do that freely is wicked powerful. But it's a great effect and I wouldn't rule it out, just make it rare and hard to do. So expensive and limited. And again, it feels like a good capstone thematically.

Deceptive Reversal
Cost: 6m, 1w Mins: Essence 5
Type: Reflexive
Keywords: Counterattack, Decisive-Only
Duration: Instant

Gain a decisive counterattack

Seems legit.

Do the mechanics make sense? I feel so. I looked through the Stealth Charms and found that there was a nice hole of the "add Stealth to combat stats" variety, so I used that as my two base evocations. As for the others, reestablishing stealth is normally a simple combat action, so I thought adding a willpower cost to Fading Specter may balance that. I made Confusing Darkness more expensive because in normal combat you can only make a surprise attack from stealth, and ambush normally requires them to be unaware that combat may start. As for Deceptive Reversal, I want it to be "counterattack ambush", but that effect is produced by chaining Deceptive Reversal, Fading Specter, and Confusing Darkness. However, 15m, 2w seems really expensive. Should I simply add a free activation of Fading Specter and Confusing Darkness into Deceptive Reversal and make it 10m, 1w? Or is 15m, 2w balanced and I'm just trying to make my character overpowered? Or should I make Deceptive Reversal the same "level" as Fading Specter and Confusing Darkness, requiring both Nothing but Shadows and Sundering Umbra, and make a sixth capstone evocation that allows the use of all three throughout a scene (with a cost of about 25m, 3w which is adding 10m, 1w to the cost of all of them together)? As awesome as that sounds, it's also starting to sound REALLY overpowered.

There's a lot of questions in here that I don't have time to answer one by one. Don't overthink the cost with stacking charms too much. The details you have above are a great direction, just need more fleshing out and I didn't see too much in the way of unbalanced costs. Keep it up and good luck to you!

[Brennanhawkwood]

1. The Base: What am I making?

Either a pair of short daiklaves or light armor cloak; I am going for a Batmanesque character, and while I plan to have said character use short daiklaves eventually, a cloak better fits the imagery I had in mind for the artifact. If you've seen the Harry Potter movies, think the Death Eaters in the Department of Mysteries or Snape fleeing from Mcgonagall in the Seventh (Part 2, I believe). Basically imagine black, shadowy mist/smoke cloaking the wielder/wearer as they move around the battlefeild.

I think I would make this a cloak. It really fits the idea you are describing better to me and like The Unsung Hero I like seeing non-armament artifacts.

I had two questions come to mind while reading through your artifact:

(1) Was it intended that the evocations did not have the Mute keyword? Without it, the mote expenditures will add to the wielder's anima level making them glow brighter and brighter the more they use their stealthy evocations which seems counter to the stealth theme.

(2) Do the stealth penalties associated with brighter anima banner levels impact these abilities and how? Glowing levies a -3 to stealth and burning+ makes stealth impossible. Does this prevent the use of these evocations since they are all thematically based on fighting while magically stealthy.

[The Unsung Hero]

I think I would make this a cloak. It really fits the idea you are describing better to me and like The Unsung Hero I like seeing non-armament artifacts.

I had two questions come to mind while reading through your artifact:

(1) Was it intended that the evocations did not have the Mute keyword? Without it, the mote expenditures will add to the wielder's anima level making them glow brighter and brighter the more they use their stealthy evocations which seems counter to the stealth theme.

(2) Do the stealth penalties associated with brighter anima banner levels impact these abilities and how? Glowing levies a -3 to stealth and burning+ makes stealth impossible. Does this prevent the use of these evocations since they are all thematically based on fighting while magically stealthy.

Actually, I might make it even more interactive than that. I'd add Anima level costs to a few of the evocations which has to dual benefit of interacting with the system more AND burning off your excess Anima to achieve stealth.

[Binary Phantom]

So after following The Unsung Hero's guidance to remake my first custom artifact with evocations, I've been working on several more artifacts and have gotten a couple of them far enough along to post them onto this forums for critique. So first, I present to you...

Bedlam
●●● Artifact: Orichalcum and Gossamer Direlance

Appearance
Awaiting response of player for the visual description, will replace this as soon as I get it.

Attunement
Additional Benefits

• Benefit Attunement Cost: 1m
• Anyone struck by Bedlam remembers the moment long after the physical wounds have healed, never quite sure how they survived the ordeal and terrified that this might all be some cruel dream. If an attack with Bedlam would kill its target, the wielder may choose to, instead, apply enough damage to leave the target unconscious and at no risk from bleeding out from their current wounds. The excess damage is redirected to ravage their psyche instead, leaving the target with a derangement and a tie of terror of the wielder. The strength of the tie and the derangement is dependent on the amount of damage changed, with 1-2 damage for minor derangement and tie, 3-4 damage for major derangement and tie, 5+ for a defining derangement and tie, respectively. The derangement typically manifests as hysteria or madness but the other forms are not unheard of. In addition, Bedlam may siphon the converted damage into motes on a 1 damage to 1 mote basis. These motes can only fuel its evocations and they only last until the end of the scene.

Evocations

Skipping Sunbeam Trick

• Cost: 3m or 4m
• Mins: Essence 1
• Type: Supplemental
• Keywords: Uniform
• Duration: Instant
• Prerequisite Charms: None
• One Line Summary: Ignore the effects of full defense and not-full cover, mitigate defend other
• Sunlight is such an elusive yet straightforward thing. You can’t hold it, and try as much as you want, you’ll never truly block it out. Bedlam seems to flicker in and out, making it harder to counter and anticipate. Ignore the bonus the target gains from taking a full defense or hiding behind anything that provides less than full cover. If the target is the beneficiary of a defend other action, this evocation will, for 4 motes, halve (round down) the parry score of the defender. However, the attacker cannot choose to attack the defender instead should they overcome the parry.

Armor Yields to Nightmares

• Cost: 4m
• Mins: Essence 2
• Type: Supplemental
• Keywords: Dual
• Duration: Instant
• Prerequisite Charms: Skipping Sunbeam Trick
• One Line Summary: Frighten the target as the attack lands so that it’s more damaging
• Gossamer weaves a the visage of terror around Bedlam’s bearer as the direlance pierces its prey, causing the attacked to momentarily clinch in fear, leaving them more vulnerable to the incoming blow.
  
  On landing a withering attack, ignore (wielder’s appearance - target’s resolve, minimum 1) soak. After rolling damage, add 1 to the value of any single die that is less than a success. This can be done up to presence times and a die can be boosted multiple times. This must occur before rerolling any dice occurs.
  
  On a decisive attack, ignore (wielder’s appearance - target’s resolve, minimum 1) hardness. The vision is disruptive and unsettling, leaving even the steeliest of hearts momentarily shaken. For the next turn, the victim suffers a penalty, equal to the amount of hardness that was ignored, to any action that is not a disengage, full defense, take cover, or withdraw action.

Glorious Visions of the Golden Terror

• Cost: 22 - (5 x anima rating above dim expended) motes
• Mins: Essence 3
• Type: Simple
• Keywords: Perilous
• Duration: (Performance) Turns
• Prerequisite Charms: Armor Yields to Nightmares, Phantom-Conjuring Performance
• One Line Summary: Briefly produce illusions of yourself, making it hard hit you and easier to pull of several gambits
• May those who impede the splendor of this golden terror shall be blinded by it! With this evocation, the wielder is engulfed in auric brilliance, blinding any opponent surrounding them. This manifestation can feed off the wielder's already apparent majesty, absorbing the essence radiated by their anima. The wielder may take a discount of 5 motes for each anima level above dim expended in compensation to activate this evocation. Upon activation, all surrounding opponents in close range are blinded for their next turn, suffering a -1 accuracy penalty for every 5 motes paid of this evocation after applying discounts.
  
  After the flash, where there was once one , stands many as the wielder is part of a swirling troop of illusionary duplicates. The illusions are enchanting and misleading and will last for the next (Performance) turns.
  During this time:
  • The terror's actions are hard to predict and any attack against them mistake an illusion for them instead. If an attack would land upon the wielder, count the number of dice with a value of (Guile) on the attack roll and subtract that number of successes from the roll. Should the attack now miss, the attacker suffers a -2 to their defense until their next turn for being lured into attacking a decoy instead of the real target.
  • all disarm, distract, and grapple gambits are 1 difficulty lower, to a minimum of 1, to execute
  • the wielder can flurry a distract gambit with any other gambit and may ignore the -3 flurry penalty to the other gambit.

[The Unsung Hero]

Bedlam
●●● Artifact: Orichalcum and Gossamer Direlance

Attunement
Additional Benefits

• Benefit Attunement Cost: 1m
• Anyone struck by Bedlam remembers the moment long after the physical wounds have healed, never quite sure how they survived the ordeal and terrified that this might all be some cruel dream. If an attack with Bedlam would kill its target, the wielder may choose to, instead, apply enough damage to leave the target unconscious and at no risk from bleeding out from their current wounds. The excess damage is redirected to ravage their psyche instead, leaving the target with a derangement and a tie of terror of the wielder. The strength of the tie and the derangement is dependent on the amount of damage changed, with 1-2 damage for minor derangement and tie, 3-4 damage for major derangement and tie, 5+ for a defining derangement and tie, respectively. The derangement typically manifests as hysteria or madness but the other forms are not unheard of. In addition, Bedlam may siphon the converted damage into motes on a 1 damage to 1 mote basis. These motes can only fuel its evocations and they only last until the end of the scene.

Evocations

First of all, holy tags Batman! Need to be careful when porting material in from Word documents (and other sources) and a ton of tags can get ported in, making it daunting for people to Quote you in feedback. It's not obvious when you copy/paste it, just when you try to Quote it in a reply. Just friendly advice.

Anyways, I like your attunement benefit, I'm just weighing whether 1m is enough for that. It's situational and explicitly NOT murderous, but it IS powerful. It might be enough. Otherwise, I like it.

Skipping Sunbeam Trick

• Cost: 3m
• Mins: Essence 1
• Type: Supplemental
• Keywords: Uniform
• Duration: Instant
• Prerequisite Charms: None
• One Line Summary: Ignore the effects of full defense and not-full cover, mitigate defend other
• Sunlight is such an elusive yet straightforward thing. You can’t hold it, and try as much as you want, you’ll never truly block it out. Bedlam seems to flicker in and out, making it harder to counter and anticipate. Ignore the bonus the target gains from taking a full defense, hiding behind anything that provides less than full cover. If the target is the beneficiary of a defend other action, this evocation also halves, round down, the parry score of the defender. However, the attacker cannot choose to attack the defender instead should they overcome the parry.

The first half of this evocation is perfect. The portion where it affect a defend other has me contemplating the cost again. The drawback of not being able to attack the defender is good, but 3m to half someone's parry pool is pretty good. Someone who is works with defend other more might be able to offer more insight into how good that effect is and whether there might need to be a separate cost associated with that situation.

Armor Yields to Nightmares

• Cost: 4m
• Mins: Essence 2
• Type: Supplemental
• Keywords: Dual
• Duration: Instant
• Prerequisite Charms: Skipping Sunbeam Trick
• One Line Summary: Frighten the target as the attack lands so that it’s more damaging
• Gossamer weaves a the visage of terror around Bedlam’s bearer as the direlance pierces its prey, causing the attacked to momentarily clinch in fear, leaving them more vulnerable to the incoming blow.
  
  On landing a withering attack, ignore (wielder’s appearance - target’s resolve, minimum 1) soak. After rolling damage, add 1 to the value of any single die that is less than a success. This can be done up to presence times and a die can be boosted multiple times. This must occur before rerolling any dice occurs.
  
  On a decisive attack, ignore (wielder’s appearance - target’s resolve, minimum 1) hardness. After damage has been taken, deal an equal amount of initiative damage to the target. The wielder does not gain this lost initiative but should the victim be crashed by this initiative loss, Bedlam gains 5 motes to fuel its evocations.

This is a cool effect actually. My question is on the Decsive attack. "deal an equal amount of initiative damage" is that equal to the amount of hardness ignored or the amount of health level damage dealt? Those are very different numbers we're potentially looking at here, and the ability to almost kill AND crash your foe at the same time is very powerful and not hard to arrange with this evocation. If it's equal to the amount of hardness ignored, I'd say it's fine. If it's equal to the damage done, that's potentially very powerful and easily spammable. I mean, at a certain point, no reason not to just do it at base initiative, because what's the point of withering if you can hit both pools with the same successes at no cost to you?

Glorious Visions of the Golden Terror

• Cost: 20 - (current anima rating above dim x 5) motes
• Mins: Essence 3
• Type: Simple
• Keywords: Perilous
• Duration: (Performance) Turns
• Prerequisite Charms: Armor Yields to Nightmares, Phantom-Conjuring Performance
• One Line Summary: Briefly produce illusions of yourself, making it hard hit you and easier to pull of several gambits
• May those who impede the splendor of this golden terror shall be blinded by it! With this evocation, the wielder is engulfed in auric brilliance and surrounded a whirling troop of illusionary duplicates. The illusions are enchanting and misleading and will last for the next (Performance) turns.
  During this time:
  • the wielder’s defenses is increased by their Guile
  • all disarm, distract, and grapple gambits are 1 difficulty lower, to a minimum of 1, to execute
  • the wielder can flurry a distract gambit with any other gambit with no penalty to the other gambit.

OK, so there's some fun stuff in this evocation but we're going to need more. First thing to consider is the likelihood that this can be as cheap as 5 motes with very little effort (a melee person can get there in 1 round with an excellency and a charm or two). So while I get that there's a big range in cost, you made it workable to be as low as 5 with no impact on the listed effects, so they should be balanced around that.

Increasing Defenses by Guile for any character likely to use this weapon can be very beefy, and it lasts for multiple rounds. I've seen characters with a guile of 4, so adding that to a static defense can make someone unhitable. With average combats lasting 3-4 rounds, that makes this very good for a social swordsman. I'm generally against passive multi-round increases to static defenses, mostly due to 2e's godly builds with that in mind, but I'm likely biased.

The gambit difficulty lowering is a fine effect. The flurrying effect is curious. By no penalty, you mean it doesn't have the -3 to the second gambit? That seems fine, just being clear.

All together, this weapon is obviously not too great for a pure combat swordsman. But for a social one it's got a few VERY powerful effects if combined well. I may be playing a bit of devil's advocate, but it's my instinct that if players are given a tool that can be made twice as good, they'll build their character to make use of that extra goodness. But I love the concept, and it's a very creative space for a sword. Love the name too. Short and descriptive.