The Out-of-Context Game Quotes Thread

[Sith_Happens]

“Words are not my strength.”
“Nor mine. Fortunately I have my cousin to call upon when I require one skilled with his tongue.”

[Synapse]

"I think surfing the horse will be more productive"

[Sith_Happens]

P1: “Illiteracy buddies!”
P2: “Imagine reading.”
P1: “They can’t.”
P3: “Oh shoot... That requires a dot of Lingistics now doesn't it...”
P1: “ILLITERACY BUDDIES”
P4: “What's the point of having a smart cousin if you have to learn to read anyway?”

[webkilla]

P2: "I use my vuvuzelas to play the people a happy tune, all the while ripping the head off [player 1's character] to prevent him for humming the crazy frog tune"
ST: "I'll be honest, you stopping him from doing the crazy frog thing almost makes up for using a vuvuzela"


p3: "We can't make the manse do like in airports, darn"
st: "Sorry, you can't make the manse grope people like the TSA"
p1: "We shouldn't limit what liquids people can bring"

P3: "I have a final solution for the village of mutants... we kill and eat them"
p1: "no dont, we would have the only brothel that offers sex with five-inch tall tiny people"

p2: "Who wants to inherit my penis"

ST: "You lend your pill machine to the machine city. Now you will have to wait with recycling people's pets until you get it back again"

[TheCountAlucard]

Invisible Horse Princess: I got some good one-liners in this session, which is all I really care about.

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Huyla: "Why are you following me? Can't you see the Council is our enemy?"
Invisible Horse Princess: "Bitch, I can't see anything!"

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Huyla: "If the Emissary still wants to kill me, will you back me up?"
Invisible Horse Princess: "The Emissary knows better than to make an enemy of me."

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Invisible Horse Princess: "I'm trying to finish a jigsaw puzzle, but the puzzle pieces are made of a little girl's shredded soul."

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Emissary of Nexus: "Lay your hand on this stone and say those words again, please."

Invisible Horse Princess: "Can I have my hand back now? It was a gift."

[webkilla]

P1: "At least three of them has to be a reference to P3's genitals"

P1: "We've made a new friend without developing a new fetish"

P2: "I just have a long scrote note, but not a fetish for it, I failed that roll"

P1: "I rip off my clothes to reveal my leather daddy outfit to the fairfolk lord"
ST: "The fair folk lord recoils in horror and his head explodes"

p1: "We need a hole into the underworld, who volunteers to being a serial killer?"

p2: "I'll throw them out into the wyld"
ST: "All four and a half thousand?"
p2: "I'll do it all day"

p1: "I think its a good idea... except the thing about eating people, unless we turn them into food pills first"

[Lupislacertus]

"The lunar isn't a dirty bomb" explaining a tactic to a fellow player having moral issues with my plan.

[Sith_Happens]

“Okay, so so far we’ve got the cult warrior, the warrior cultist, the warrior cult evangelist, and the artifact cultist. Did I miss anyone who’s actually said anything about their character yet because I’m seeing a pattern here. 😆”

[webkilla]

"I will not let you bribe the storm gods with mechs." me- the storyteller. My girlfriend's mom who plays D&D heard this as her only introduction to exalted.

there are many things storm gods should have. mechs are not one of them


now, new session from my end:

ST: "I have a random encounter table. Be afraid"
p1: "Do we get to meet the tea house guy again?"

ST: "Who here can honk [player 2]'s character's horn the best?]

p2: "I was afraid

p1: "You can pop my slurry"

p3: "I'll just be slobbering in my armpit"

ST: "They are large, greyish and have chimneys for horns"
p1: "So its [player 2]'s mother?]

ST: "The vilagers are 1/10th the size of normal people"
p1: "its going to be difficult to get a tinder date here"
ST: "Depends on how kinky you are"
p1: "Little people tinder, natch"

p1: "I do not abuse children and smurfs"

ST: "The tiny people agree but still think you're an idiot"

p1: "I start to touch my self"
p2: "No you do not"

[webkilla]

"I will not let you bribe the storm gods with mechs." me- the storyteller. My girlfriend's mom who plays D&D heard this as her only introduction to exalted.

there are many things storm gods should have. mechs are not one of them

[Lupislacertus]

"I will not let you bribe the storm gods with mechs." me- the storyteller. My girlfriend's mom who plays D&D heard this as her only introduction to exalted.

[HalfTangible]

(The only context I'll give is that the Yellow Jade Seminar is a remedial course for wayward young dynasts; all of us have some sort of problem)

P1: "How about a bet. Let's see if you can find out my secret before the Yellow Jade seminar is over."
P2: "Don't flatter yourself, you're not that interesting."

[webkilla]

P1: "Shut up - you're on the side of the tiger, you don't get to to talkt"

p1: "Oh, its a tiger that's about to rape us. I gotta keep my fetishes straight here"

p2: "if we light the mouth on fire, it might spit us out?"

p1: "I haven't pleased plentimon today"

P1: "If i should sleep with [player's] character, then the best sex move I could do was to simply not be there"

p1: "Nutriunt slurry is a very erotic charm"

ST: "You land next to your other crater"

P1: "I can't wait to fuck with him. I have a whole list... i have one that's stupid enough I just have to do it"

[JohnDoe244]

Jin: Hey! Just because the last plan didn't work doesn't mean-
Ganan: I have Guile 1

Ganan: We are not loved by the beastfolk.
Melody: Especially Ganan.
Ganan: Yes... wait... why especially me?
Jin: You are especially unlikable.
Ganan: Just because it's true, doesn't mean you have to say it.

Melody: Okay, so we just need to convince our sworn enemies, who we enslaved and oppressed-
Ganan: "Whom"

Jin: I communicate the entire speach again but this time using the power of Body Language.
Ganan: Or the translator could translate it for you.

Ganan: Ooops.

Ganan: I AM NOT LITTLE!

Melody: I knew it! I mean... not in the sense of actually knowing any of that...

Ganan: Every body we don't burn now is a zombie we have to fight later.
Melody: Well, everybody we don't burn is a zombie we have to fight later.

Melody: He means it'll be weird and cursed.

[webkilla]

P1: "I pet his bulgy wulgy"

ST: "You ignore the fair folk so hard they stop existing"

ST: "wow... you chose not to do the stupid thing for once
p2: "I wont eat fair folk. I've seen what getting them inside you does"

St: "You enrage the fair folk lord to the point that he breaks his legs and snaps his dick in two"
p1: "did I upset you? I'll change my haircolor again if you do the thing I asked"
ST: The fair folk lord walks back to the arena on his split wang-for-legs

p2: "I give the sword a botched circumsision"

p2: "Its the woodening"

p2: "we can feed the fair folk giant cat some kibble"