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So, writing this because I've seen a lot of confusion around Social Maneuvering and, while I don't think I'm particularly well-suited for putting together a guide on this, I think it's necessary.
Social Manuevering, in Chronicles of Darkness, is one of four major subsystems: Investigation, Chases, and Violence. Like these systems, it occupies a space when something as generic as an Extended Action is unsuitable for the situation, but the actual effort is small enough to not warrant an entire story devoted to it.
In Social Maneuvering, there are three key concepts: Goals, First Impressions, and Doors. These are roughly similar to Intent, Initiative, and Health for Violence. Goals are bookend pieces wrapped around the entire system, indicating what happens when the system has reached its conclusion. First Impressions set the pace of moving through the system. And Doors give an approximate indication of difficulty. We'll go backwards.
Doors are resistances. Social Maneuvering applies when the other party is amenable but unwilling to do what you ask. Remember that each Door is opened by a roll, likely a different Attribute+Skill pair each time, and that it needs to make sense that you'd be building trust or spending influence each time you do so. Also worth mentioning is that Social Maneuvering is, by nature, manipulation. If you are using it on someone you have a close relationship with, chances are that the end result should be a somewhat colder and more hostile relationship. Opening all the Doors is the social equivalent of backing someone into a corner: they're now doing something that they don't really want to, entirely because you put enough effort into messing with them.
One thing to note here: Forcing Doors and Hard Leverage aren't the same thing. My read of the rules says that Hard Leverage is a special case of Forcing Doors. If you bull through their resistance in a single roll, that doesn't require that you suffer a Breaking Point in the process. Further, my read says that if you fail the roll, you take a -2 to any further attempt to perform Social Maneuvering on that person; other people have other interpretations.
First Impressions are easily misunderstood: they're not about how much the target likes you. Remember that Social Maneuvering occupies the space between where someone is happy to do something (amenable AND willing) and where that person is completely against doing it (not amenable and not willing). First Impressions is what specifies exactly where in that gulf your request is positioned. Is this task something that your target is happy to do for pretty much anyone, as long as they're asked the right way? Better Impressions. Is this task something that your target would do for no one? Worse Impressions.
Remember that Impressions can change during a run of the system, usually for failing to open a Door. But you can also improve your Impressions in-flight. Soft Leverage is useful: take advantage of it!
I've so far used two terms here without being entirely clear on their distinction: amenability and willingness. Amenability is about how pliable and suggestible the target is on the subject. The more easily they're can be persuaded, the more amenable they are. Willingness is about the target's perception of the goal. The guardian of the sacred sword is not going to hand it over just because you happen to be her wife of fifty years. It doesn't matter how much she likes you: asking her for the sword is really only going to piss her off. Hostile Impressions are what happens when mere unwillingness turns into non-amenability. Which brings us to the third major piece.
Goals are frequently forgotten, because they're so implicit in the process, but they're key to making everything work. Your goal has to be, again, something the target can be persuaded to do (amenable), but would balk at actually doing it (unwilling). Further, your goal has to be sufficiently unreachable (the target has to be sufficiently unwilling) that it takes multiple Doors' worth of rolls to actually get what you want. Choosing an appropriate goal is a big deal. Choosing the right goal can change what Impression you make at first, limit the Doors you have to get through, and completely rework the entire strategy you bring to the table.
There are a lot of ways to handle a social circumstance. For something boring and undramatic, like snarky banter, there's clearly no point in making a roll. You might deliver a great zinger, but ultimately it doesn't matter dramatically. For something fast and hard, you should be using a single roll. Bursting into a room and yelling, "Hands in the air!"? That's a Presence+Expression (or Intimidation). For something slow but generic, consider using an Extended Action. A romantic evening where you're really trying to get some information? I'd suggest a Wits+Socialize Extended Action, with each roll taking half an hour of small talk. For Social Maneuvering, you're making several rolls using different Attribute+Skill pairs and varying equipment bonuses: that kind of complexity demands a more involved system.
Social Manuevering shines where your strategy is complex, but the goal is simple and easily understood. When your goal is more complex, try breaking down your goal into smaller goals, and determine new Impressions and Doors for each incremental step.
The big mistake that people make when thinking about Social Maneuvering is imagining that it's a complete and utter replacement for all social behavior in a game. That's far, far from the intended usage. The subsystem occupies precisely its own niche, and doesn't take away from the other tools available in your toolbox.
Remember that you don't have to open Doors immediately when your Impression allows you to do so, especially if you're dry on ideas for how to open the next one. Seriously consider whether or not an Extended Action, or Instant Action, is more appropriate for what you want to do.
Since this post was spurred by @3Comrades' posts on another thread, I'm going to give some more direct answers here:
If the girl likes you enough, you've already charmed her. What's your Goal in this situation? If you don't have a Goal, there's little point in using the Social Manuevering system.
There's room for the system to be relevant here, but it all hinges on the question: why are you charming her? What does your character want?
If the threat is immediate, then that should improve your Impressions immediately. The rules explicitly state "circumstances of their meeting", "the nature of the favor being asked", and "any other relevant factors". An immediate threat seems pretty relevant to me! If I were your ST, I'd ask how you approach them. Do you pick a method that mocks them and reminds them of your rivalry, or do you take a conciliatory route, and even offer some concession at the beginning? Do you take a moment to roll Wits+Empathy and get a read on them before you spin up, or do you just bull your way in without any concern for their opinion? Doing all the right things can push you from Hostile to Perfect pretty easily. (Hostile->Average for immediate threat; Average->Good for being conciliatory; Good->Excellent for succeeding a Wits+Empathy roll; Excellent->Perfect for offering a small concession.)
At the end of the day, the target's player (if an NPC, then the ST) decides what Impression you've made with your opening move.
Let me propose a different conclusion to this scenario, though: you're failing to open Doors. Sure, you can roll 10 times in a single day, but you're failing every roll. Maybe she really only has one Door, and Mr. Smooth is breaking it open on his first success. You're just making zero progress. Better Impressions only mean you get to fail faster. Imagine if this had been an Extended Action instead; what interval would you assign to each roll?
Plus, if she's that unwilling to get a real Christmas tree? That's a valid reason to drop her Impressions down a step. If you continually badger her even though you can't open any Doors yet? That can drop your Impressions, too.
Social Manuevering, in Chronicles of Darkness, is one of four major subsystems: Investigation, Chases, and Violence. Like these systems, it occupies a space when something as generic as an Extended Action is unsuitable for the situation, but the actual effort is small enough to not warrant an entire story devoted to it.
In Social Maneuvering, there are three key concepts: Goals, First Impressions, and Doors. These are roughly similar to Intent, Initiative, and Health for Violence. Goals are bookend pieces wrapped around the entire system, indicating what happens when the system has reached its conclusion. First Impressions set the pace of moving through the system. And Doors give an approximate indication of difficulty. We'll go backwards.
Doors are resistances. Social Maneuvering applies when the other party is amenable but unwilling to do what you ask. Remember that each Door is opened by a roll, likely a different Attribute+Skill pair each time, and that it needs to make sense that you'd be building trust or spending influence each time you do so. Also worth mentioning is that Social Maneuvering is, by nature, manipulation. If you are using it on someone you have a close relationship with, chances are that the end result should be a somewhat colder and more hostile relationship. Opening all the Doors is the social equivalent of backing someone into a corner: they're now doing something that they don't really want to, entirely because you put enough effort into messing with them.
One thing to note here: Forcing Doors and Hard Leverage aren't the same thing. My read of the rules says that Hard Leverage is a special case of Forcing Doors. If you bull through their resistance in a single roll, that doesn't require that you suffer a Breaking Point in the process. Further, my read says that if you fail the roll, you take a -2 to any further attempt to perform Social Maneuvering on that person; other people have other interpretations.
First Impressions are easily misunderstood: they're not about how much the target likes you. Remember that Social Maneuvering occupies the space between where someone is happy to do something (amenable AND willing) and where that person is completely against doing it (not amenable and not willing). First Impressions is what specifies exactly where in that gulf your request is positioned. Is this task something that your target is happy to do for pretty much anyone, as long as they're asked the right way? Better Impressions. Is this task something that your target would do for no one? Worse Impressions.
Remember that Impressions can change during a run of the system, usually for failing to open a Door. But you can also improve your Impressions in-flight. Soft Leverage is useful: take advantage of it!
I've so far used two terms here without being entirely clear on their distinction: amenability and willingness. Amenability is about how pliable and suggestible the target is on the subject. The more easily they're can be persuaded, the more amenable they are. Willingness is about the target's perception of the goal. The guardian of the sacred sword is not going to hand it over just because you happen to be her wife of fifty years. It doesn't matter how much she likes you: asking her for the sword is really only going to piss her off. Hostile Impressions are what happens when mere unwillingness turns into non-amenability. Which brings us to the third major piece.
Goals are frequently forgotten, because they're so implicit in the process, but they're key to making everything work. Your goal has to be, again, something the target can be persuaded to do (amenable), but would balk at actually doing it (unwilling). Further, your goal has to be sufficiently unreachable (the target has to be sufficiently unwilling) that it takes multiple Doors' worth of rolls to actually get what you want. Choosing an appropriate goal is a big deal. Choosing the right goal can change what Impression you make at first, limit the Doors you have to get through, and completely rework the entire strategy you bring to the table.
There are a lot of ways to handle a social circumstance. For something boring and undramatic, like snarky banter, there's clearly no point in making a roll. You might deliver a great zinger, but ultimately it doesn't matter dramatically. For something fast and hard, you should be using a single roll. Bursting into a room and yelling, "Hands in the air!"? That's a Presence+Expression (or Intimidation). For something slow but generic, consider using an Extended Action. A romantic evening where you're really trying to get some information? I'd suggest a Wits+Socialize Extended Action, with each roll taking half an hour of small talk. For Social Maneuvering, you're making several rolls using different Attribute+Skill pairs and varying equipment bonuses: that kind of complexity demands a more involved system.
Social Manuevering shines where your strategy is complex, but the goal is simple and easily understood. When your goal is more complex, try breaking down your goal into smaller goals, and determine new Impressions and Doors for each incremental step.
The big mistake that people make when thinking about Social Maneuvering is imagining that it's a complete and utter replacement for all social behavior in a game. That's far, far from the intended usage. The subsystem occupies precisely its own niche, and doesn't take away from the other tools available in your toolbox.
Remember that you don't have to open Doors immediately when your Impression allows you to do so, especially if you're dry on ideas for how to open the next one. Seriously consider whether or not an Extended Action, or Instant Action, is more appropriate for what you want to do.
Since this post was spurred by @3Comrades' posts on another thread, I'm going to give some more direct answers here:
Originally posted by 3Comrades
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There's room for the system to be relevant here, but it all hinges on the question: why are you charming her? What does your character want?
Originally posted by 3Comrades
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At the end of the day, the target's player (if an NPC, then the ST) decides what Impression you've made with your opening move.
Originally posted by 3Comrades
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Plus, if she's that unwilling to get a real Christmas tree? That's a valid reason to drop her Impressions down a step. If you continually badger her even though you can't open any Doors yet? That can drop your Impressions, too.
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